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I knew this day would come! BM is a huge B

Ashleytenorio17's picture

My DH lost his job a few weeks ago but BM was still getting child support from what he paid through the portal until he literally Could not pay . They had court with the attorney general and finally his amount was reduced due to him not having a job right now . They were still basing what he paid off of an old jobs pay so BM was getting well over what she should. I just knew it was only a matter of time before BM made her move to punish DH and here we are. BM moved 3 hours from us but it was agreed that her and DH would Meet half way to get SD EOW but here lately it has been excuses from BM saying Sd is too tired to come so SD rarely comes To visit . DH has worked a few odd jobs last weekend so he has a bit of money for now and has 2 interviews lined up. Well BM text DH today say she will not be meetinG him half

way Friday because she can not afford it and it cost her $80 to put gas in her car ( a Luxury suv her ex still pays for) and since she's not getting support from DH she has to worry basically about herself. She went on and on how she is a single mother who has to pay

all her bills and crap now on her own and blah blah blah! I'm thinking omg lady give me a damn break ! I am a mother of 3 supporting my whole family On my income and making it work! She is the one who decided to move far away but now DH has to not see SD because she all the sudden is not getting child support ( it's been maybe about a month) of course she has to blame

DH and make him feel like shit because she is selfish ! There were years when I didn't receive a dime from my ex for our son but I still let him have his weekends with him because I don't believe in using my child as a pawn! Also BM has her boyfriend living with her so she is not paying every thing on her own! I told DH she can't with hold SD because he is not paying support right now that he doesn't have a job and if she does he needs to make

note of each time it happens and bring her to court!


Mamabearof3's picture

I'm sorry she's being so cruel. That's just not hardly tolerable sounding. Be extra kind to your DH. He's gotta be feeling it ten fold. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

She also blamed him for the reduction in child support amount and said "since you cut back on his child support amount I have to find a way to deal with that, sorry " so her way to  "deal" with it is to punish DH by not allowing him to see SD ... also HE didn't decide anything, the attorney general was the once who ordered the reduction in child support amount because it was needed ! He has 2 other child to help support and makes significantly less.... just greedy ! 

Winterglow's picture

So how about he goes the whole distance to pick her up and he tells bm when he gets there that she can come and get her at the end of his visitation? 

Do you have a lawyer who can send her a letter informing her what steps will be taken if she withholds the child again? 

stepmomnorth's picture

Yep and wait until you get back home before you mention that she is responsible for picking her up 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

He doesn't have a lawyer . Also if she won't even meet him half way there's no way she would come all the way to pick her up. I told him to either report this to the court or keep a calendar of every time she does it so he can report it 

dragonfly878's picture

Would she just dump her off on the two of you and never come and pick her up? I agree- drive to get her and when you get home let BM know she can come and get her. It forces BM's hand a bit

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Now SD is saying she doesn't want to make the trip yet again she is tired of being in the car ... so I have no idea. DDs birthday party is Saturday so I'm just gonna focus on that 

ndc's picture

Did they change the court order when BM moved so that it says they meet halfway? If not, what does the existing court order say? If it says receiving parent picks up, I'd go get SD and let BM deal with it when it's time to pick SD up.  Of course, your DH risks SD refusing to get in the car and BM refusing to make her.  But he could call the police (take CO along) and you'd have something to report.  You're right about one thing,  BM is a B. The custodial patent should be encouraging the relationship with the NCP, not standing in the way. 

OTOH, you'll have plenty of SD-free time if this continues. Sad for your DH but not a total bad thing in light of how she behaves in your home.


Ashleytenorio17's picture

No it was never changed which was surprising to me because it should have been according to the distance . Maybe BM just didn't make a fuss over it. It was agreed between BM and DH they would meet half way but within the past year BM has been slacking on her part saying "SD said she is too tired to go" the part that angers me is she is making poor DH feel like a shitty father just because he is doing what is with in his right to do and now BM for the first has to support SD for a bit. The attorney general told DH 2 times his amount should be reduced and he just now agreed to it because he has no job and no income for now but BM is blaming DH like he is the one making the decision on what to pay. She's just a selfish greedy B and you are right . On the flip side it's less time I get to be around SD but I feel awful for my DH

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Oh now BM starts randomly texting DH saying "how long is she staying , I am off tomorrow but I can only make it work if she stays with you longer" um hello now you wanna make demands and say that the only way my DH can see his daughter is if he keeps her a week? Um hell no I can't afford groceries for another child , I can barely afford groceries for my kids during the week with summer out and I work from home and it's hard enough with my kiddos here. Also DH has interviews lined up next week. Wow just wow !