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Finale verdict… No SD this weekend

Ashleytenorio17's picture

After 4 long days of trying to decide if she will come or not BM texted DH right now saying that SD wants to stay to BM this weekend ( DH weekend) because she wants to go to the movies with them... which I think it's pretty crappy that it's always BM that delivers the news everytime SD doesn't wanna come on DH weekend, especially when DH asked SD directly via text in which she has yet to respond . I'm sure BM loves it every time too. Messed up part is my older Son was just telling me earlier today how he was talking to SD ( they play online together and text ) just earlier today and SD was making plans to see a movie with my son when she came over so BS10 was looking forward to her coming . Also you know BM just had to mention to SD that BM was planning on going tubing and watching fire works Monday .... but oh well it weok I guess it will be a peaceful weekend with out SD and maybe one of these days DH will grow a back bone or realize the brat his daughter has become and stop putting her on some pedestal ..


SteppedOut's picture

Not having to have her at your house. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Lol was thinking the same but I'm 35 weeks pregnant so gettting motivated to do anything big is hard right now. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

I think it will be less weeks , it has been a daily struggle!!!! I packed my hospital bag today! Thank you !!!!!!

Rags's picture

I edited my above comment with a +/- to cover your desired due date.

Enjoy. They are a blessing and it goes oh so fast.

thinkthrice's picture

Courts would pursue the CP the way they pursue the NCP.  You lucked out, Rags in that you were CP and the court had no qualms about holding the SpermClan (NCP) responsible.

Had it been reversed, it would be, to say the least, an uphill climb as courts view an NCP holding a CP accountable as foolish and vindictive, no matter how justified. 

SMto2's picture

Unfortunately, this is one of those situations where you might win the battle but lose the war. My DH was afraid if he forced my OSS to come against his will, he'd make up some story of false abuse or hate DH to the point, once he did have a choice, he'd never speak to DH again. And there's further pain knowing BM is subtly (and maybe not so subtly) encouraging the behavior and thoroughly enjoying the rejection of DH. It's truly a no-win situation, in my experience.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Kinda hard to file for contempt when OP's DH allows it to happen and gives SD the option to skip. A judge won't look favorably on an NCP who files contempt while also giving the kid a choice about what they want to do. Repeatedly.

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Yup !!!!!!! You are right ! I keep telling him this is not right to do but it's his choice so I just let him know the options 

SMto2's picture

My oldest SS was about your SD's  age when he stopped wanting to visit. Although it's been well over a decade ago (he's 28 now), I remember those days well. Every other week, we had to deal with the frustration of, "will he come, won't he?" BM even called DH a couple times with SS in the background bawling like a big baby. You'd think we tortured him instead of conforming every single minute of every visit to his whim.

DH did make him come a few times, and he stayed in his room except when asked to come out, and when he did have to emerge, he kept a pained look on his face the whole time. It made the rest of us miserable. DH finally gave in, not only because the visits were miserable, but because he was afraid SS would make up a false story of abuse. (When pressed on "why" he did not want to come, SS would only say, "I don't know.")  DH had a lot of sleepless nights and heartache. If DH had not been so upset over the lack of visitation, I would have been happy as a lark. Lol. In fact, now that the SKs are grown and EOW visitation is over a decade behind us (not to mention, CS) and we only see SSs a few times a year,  I can tell you it's as wonderful and as much relief as I always dreamed it would be. Hang in there, and try to enjoy your SK-free holiday weekend.

simifan's picture

If your SD is old enought to decide where she wants to be; she is old enough to tell her father herself. Your BM is too much of an influence & letting her handle it gives SD the easy way out. Your DH should insist on talking to SD directly. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

I don't think she is old enough at all but then again BM has raised her to act and look like she is 16. She is 12 but thinks she is 16 it's crazy to me and you are right in that BM has too much influence and I have told DH over and over again that the decision needs to come from SD herself! He will text SD directly and flat out ask her if she is coming and SD either won't respond or will sat I don't know until BM finally tells DH it's a no. It's BS but also he allows it even after I tell him over and over 

justmakingthebest's picture

All I can do is shake my head. BM is a manipulator and your SD will probably not see it until she is an adult.