Of course SD is here coughing !!!
Omg ugh I'm sooo pissed finally it was DH weekend to get SD and she is here coughing saying "it's allergies" Yea I don't really give a F you are coughing in my babies face and allergies never make me cough! I told. DH to make sure to ask if SD was even remotely sick before she came and of course BM didn't know because BM has been living in another city and letting her family take care of SD. SD even admitted when she got in the car that she has been going to a lot of different family member houses!!! Im said her that was t good because we have not been going anywhere at all!!!!!! This is all we need is SD to come over sick and get us all sick when I have tried sooo hard to keep DD 9 months, DS3 and BS8 healthy! I sick have to work and take care of the kids lea while b ass BM gets to skip out on taking care of SD who she has custody of because she is "essential " I don't have some o e to take care of my kids!!! DH is like " it's Just allergies!!!! Whatever why is it everytime she comes over " with a little cough" my BS8 who has asthma starts getting a cough a few days later!!! I can hear her coughing as I'm putting the baby to sleep and I'm sooo upset, we can't ask her to go now!!!
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Why not?
Have your DH take her back immediately. He washes out the car, sanitized himself and his clothing, you hosed down the house.
This is killing thousands of people, fast.
If she is already there
If she is already there showing symptoms, then everyone in that house needs to quarantine for 14 days. SD needs to be confined to one room, and the other kids need to keep away from that room. DH needs to be the only one providing care to SD, which means he likely needs to stay in the room with her and keep away from his wife and kids.
It sucks, but DH is the father and his kid is sick. He shouldn't pass het back elsewhere only to infect another aunt, grandparent, cousin, family friend, etc. At this point, hosing down the house won't do any good to totally prevent infection (though I highly recommend hosing down the house anyway to reduce viral load). They've been exposed if they have it. SD needs to sit tight in quarantine with her dad taking care of her since BM won't.
I empathize with OP, but this is a consequence of her DH not stepping up sooner to handle his affairs with BM on SD. Hopefully OP realizes that her DH would rather put them all in danger than stand up to BM.
Both DH and I were not aware
Both DH and I were not aware of the houses SD had been to because obviously BM lied to him and said SD was only at her aunts house. DH asked BM where SD had been before she came over and asked BM of SD was sick in any where meaning cough, sneezing or anything and her answer was no so this really is not DH fault when he did his part and he did not intentionally put us in danger because he did not know and now we must deal with BMs lying ass consequences. I think SD just has allergies, we did give her allergy medicine last night and I think she feels a little sad about having to be asked to stay a distance from the baby just in case z
Did you take her temperature?
Did you take her temperature?
Yes 98.7 I think maybe she
Yes 98.7 I think maybe she was faking it for attention, she has been known to fake sickness before. Because DH was on her about the cough and distance and what a miracle it stopped right there. I still do not like the idea of her going to several houses and us not knowing because crap I haven't seen my
own mother in like 2 months! And I know once SD lives our home she will continue to go from house to house because BM will not be responsible for her and SD will come back on her weeeknd, it's like a game of Russian roulette and I may have to have a talk with DH
I mean before this all
I mean before this all happened. Your DH has known for 6+ months that SD has not been living with BM and he hasn't done anything about it. It has frustrated you that BM is getting the CS to not take care of her own kid. SD has acted out, likely in part because neither parent has full custody of her but could if they would take the initiative to. Your DH has had time to figure this out, yet didn't.
So, you've all been living at the whim of BM and what she finds appropriate for SD. While this is a consequence that no one would have predicted, it shouldn't come as a shock that BM did something to potentially hurt SD. And your husband's inaction for months has now potentially put your family in danger. Even if the cough *now* isn't related to COVID-19, that doesn't mean SD doesn't have it and just hasn't shown symptoms.
SD being passed arounf as much as she has is the fault of BOTH BM and DH. Now it just so happens that passing SD around may make her Typhoid Mary and a threat to your family.
OP said he wasn't aware he
OP said he wasn't aware he can ask for anything as he doesn't have any legal status in the country. He has work permit though so he isn't illlegal. He did have years to at least ask a lawyer if he can have some type of court order, 50/50, full custody, something. If he has to pay child support, he has rights to decide future of his child
That's my point, though. He
That's my point, though. He has had time to look into this. Years, actually, since he has several kids now that are US citizens. He has been living in the US on a work permit for years. Even if BM leaving SD alone for 6+ months is new, the situation isn't. OP has even admitted that her DH knew it was a problem, and she was upset that he wasn't doing anything.
I feel for the OP. It sucks to be in this position. But I hope she uses this situation to think about what her next move will be after all this is said and done.
This is not about legal
This is not about legal status... corona virus doesn't care if you have a damn green card or not. Don't bring that up please in this post which is directly about the virus . I know DH status . And if you are saying him not anything about his status means BM lie about where SD has been you are mistaken. BM Can take SD wherever she wants but during this same while we face this outbreak we are hoping she is doing the smart thing that is asked of her but the president and practice social distancing ! BM is not immune to this request and that's not at all DH fault or you are saying it's okay for everyone on this site to be ok with their BM or BD to shuffle kids around and still lie to the other parent about it.... I told DH that SD is staying here because we can't trust BM and since BM doesn't have SD actually living with her DH is the other parent responsible not BM 12345565 family members. I will not put mt kids health in danger because BM is a piece of shit mother and if that
means I have to step up and DH has to step up we will . DH will still pay CS even with SD living with us but oh well we can't correct anything legal for SD until the virus has stop spreading
Is SD staying with you
Is SD staying with you minimum of 14 days?
Yes. Until further notice. BM
Yes. Until further notice. BM will not let SD live with her until the school year is over .
Yes. Until further notice. BM
Yes. Until further notice. BM will not let SD live with her until the school year is over .
I have horrible allergies,
I have horrible allergies, and asthma to boot. It makes me cough, it's possible that it's making her cough, if she isn't running a fever. But with everything going on, everyone should be airing on the side of caution! She should have stayed out at all possible if she was showing symptoms.
Yea I think it may be
Yea I think it may be allergies or maybe she does it for attention because she didn't cough at all while she was asleep and I haven't heard her cough yet today... it's just really concerning you know when you hear someone cough now a days . I have allergies bad too but it doesn't really make me cough. And because SD is super clingy with DH and DH is with the baby there is SD in their face! Everywheee DH and DD are there is SD! Since I haven't heard a cough I assume it's allergies . Today she seems fine.
What a great guy your DH is
Putting seeing his DD, over the health of you and your family. How do you spell selfish