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Constantly comparing DD to SD!

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Before I would hear it here and there with the saying " oh I remember when SD did this or that" when DH is talking about DD who is 11 months old. I would let us pass... whatever but it's like happening more and more and it's becoming annoying... anything DD likes DH is " oh SD use to like that also" most of the time now I don't even acknowledge when DH says it. This is my first and only girl and she is a individual not SD! Now on the very rare occasions we saw MIL she has started in on it also well and they even said DD cries like SD! I wanted to scream and be like um no they are not the same SD has a different mother so stop fking comparing my DD to attention seeking manipulative SD!!! DH and I have DS 3 also and they weren't this way with him soooo why the need to compare the girls! Seriously, how do I tell them to stop with out sounding like a major b


The_Upgrade's picture

Yeah I get that too. DD2 has never met estranged SD21. I'm not raising it as an issue yet but it does get annoying. It's almost winter here and I told DH next time we go out we should get DD some singlets to wear underneath her tops. For the days where it's not cold enough to wear a jacket but a single shirt isn't enough. DH: "good idea. SD used to wear those alllllll the time!" smh 

thiscantbenormal's picture

I get it here too.  DH will say favorite SD did that too. I have replied  I wasn't there so I wouldn't know. But now I give a blank stare.

I shut MIL up when she kept saying DD looks like her dad (my DH) even though she looks like me by saying thats impossible because she's the mailman's kid.  And that DD looks like the SD's....well thats not right either b/c they look like their mom.  Oh, and then BIL said dd was a part of DH and BM...said her name instead of mine. It was a slip up but still.

All the skids have ADHD (inherited from their ADHD mother)....MIL gave my DD sweet tea to drink when she was about 10 months old and yes I was p*ssed....anyways, she expected this to make DD not go sleep at night and claimed she must have ADHD when I reported she went to sleep with no problems.

This past Christmas, GMIL told DH he shouldn't have had more kids so the skids could be there instead. (They have been alienated to the mothership)

Anytime we visit MIL/GMIL they just want to talk about skids and his exstepson.

So, I get my DD looks and imitates his first family and she shouldn't have been born.  I married into a set of ignorant a-holes.

I've told DH I don't care to visit them anymore. There is clearly no room for our marriage there as all they want to do is talk about BM and skids.  And the more f'd up you are the higher you go on MIL and GMIL's pedestal.  And since I'm not a drug using psychotic person I'm pretty low on the family totem pole.

beebeel's picture

The comparisons between my son and SS were rampant when he was a baby. I told my DH that I was sick of them and to knock it off. He straightened up. MIL kept on making them until BS was 2 or 3 -- when he was developing a personality and was already more interesting than his 18 year old brother. Wink

shamds's picture

“Oh you daughter is just like her half sister and looks like her dad” or “she’s just white like her half sisters”, ummm no her half sisters are 100% brown skinned asians because both parents of theirs are brown skinned asian, my kids are white. Like 10-15 shades lighter in skin colour compared to half siblings.

then we’ll have “oh shape of the face is just like his halg brother”, eventually my husband said right away to his sister that our son is our son, he is not his half brother or resembles him, he is his own person. 

I even got sil’s saying “oh look your sd is just as tall as you” when i was wearing flats and she was wearing like 20cm platform heel type shoes or “oh sd is just as white as her stepmummy” meanwhile i am barefaced no makeup naturally fair skinned but stepdaughter who is 20 shades browner than me had painted her face in foundation clearly 10-15 shades lighter for caucasian women rather than the correct shade for her brown asian skin and her hands are clearly darker and i’m just sitting there going wtf...

my husband doesn’t do the comparison, his kids remind him of the exwife and he hates associating any comparison with our kids

thiscantbenormal's picture

Oh..this made me remember that I did tell MIL once that DD looks like DD, she is her own person..

SteppedOut's picture

Yea, I used to get this also. And my son and my formerSO's kid had nothing in common.

They looked totally different - my son looks just like his dad, his other kid doesn't and might even not be his but they rediculously used to say he did look like him to make kid "feel better". He clearly did not. Different hair color, eye color, body type. My son rolled over at 2mo and was crawling at 4.5mo. His other kid never even crawled...he started scooting on his butt at 9mo. It was so freaking over the top stupid - to make the other kid 'feel better'.