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Is this common or is BM up to no good

Ashleytenorio17's picture

DH just got a letter incthe mail from the Attorney General asking for a financial breaking of his income, what he pays, all account and how much he has in them and cash on hand. This is very strange because he has never ever received a letter like this before . Not even when he fell behind on child support a few years ago after his company down sized. But he did pay all the back pay with his tax refund. BM has been especially rude though with her text messages to him and her verbal abuse towards him and our children so I would not doubt it if she filed a claim or complaint against him. He is still out of work but he does take photos jobs and other small jobs when he can but it's not enough to completely support us but I have a good paying job so I have prettt much been paying the bulk of the bills. DH normally buys the groceries, and whatever the new baby needs. He does send money through the child support portal when he has some money to spare but it's not the full amount . The amount he was ordered to pay was incorrect as well since they were still basing it off of old income he no longer made from a previous job, he sent them information about his new job and his pay check stubs which proved he was getting less and the AG even said he was due for a reduction and his correct amount was not correct however they never changed the high Amount he owed each month so it sort of accumulated when he lost his job. 

So we were wondering if this letter is a result of BM complaining to the AG, just seems odd especially after she has been crazy these past few months . Also I do not feel comfortable with him answering questions about our account since we share it and our names are on it. I don't think they can seize anything , I mean he is not that much behind, it's maybe under 1000 for sure . Which I told him to just pay off as much as he could because I don't know what trouble BM will try to get him Into , which well sucks for us because he needs to support his other child living here too . But I guess we will just have to see what happens . So far things have been pretty smooth, we know that BM works and the only child she has to support is SD13 and she has a boyfriend living with her so she can't complain about how she pays all her bills and no one is there to help her . Also BM just might have all this backfire when DH tells the court she has not been following the court order . She plans vacations on his weekends with out notice already 2 times back to back on his weekend . She has told him that basically since SD didn't wanna come before in the future she won't be coming anymore 


SteppedOut's picture

BM has likely complained he is behind - and honestly states watch it as well. He might have hit the threshold for them to start more aggressively trying to collect.

First, you should have your own financial accounts so bm doesn't get to see your financial information. And to stop potenial siezing of you hard earned money.

As far as I know, in most (all?) states child support and custody are 2 separate matters, so the judge won't say too much about visitation/custody issues (except you can't withhold custody because of past due support).

Why hasn't your husband found a job yet? In my area there are LOTS of jobs available. News reports also indicate much of the same all over. It seems like he has been out of work for quite some time now... perhaps he should consider work that "is beneath him", at least until he finds something better. 


Ashleytenorio17's picture

Yea I was reading that he would have to be behind atleast 5000 or 6 months behind in order for the attorney general to step in which he is not so I think BM has most likely complained against him. He is behind under 1000 in child support and also BM didn't actively start with holding until she was not seeing as much child support coming through. He has been applying but most jobs are paying waaay less then then even his low paying job. It's true there are a lot of jobs out there but no one is paying a fair Pay and it's alot under what you would need to live now a days with price increases on everything over here . He was just telling me he is gonna take what he can get though from now on just for child support until he can find permanent full time work

ndc's picture

I would assume that the money in your joint account is money YOU have earned, since he's unemployed and has been for a while.  I would remove my money from that account and open a new one in your name only, and if you have direct deposit, have it sent to the new account.  I would not consider cash YOU have on hand to be cash HE has on hand, and you have other children that YOU need to support on your own at this point. What you earn and how much money YOU have is none of the business of BM or the AG's office.  If BM is going to be a PITA about this, keep separate finances.

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Yea I was wondering if they would still go after our account if it's joint but his name is there so they might. I'll be opening up a new account through my app like now! I don't know if it has reached the point of the AG seizing his account but I don't wanna be surprised . He has no cash on hand so he won't be lying lol as far as them asking for proof and what he has to pay would we need to provide that if I am paying it ? I don't want them asking questions on items that I have been paying only because we are married you know ? 

shamds's picture

Differentiate it even if he's been out of work they will claim thats savings.

best remove and have your salary going into a separate acct. last thing you want is exwife managing to claim your income/money as cs and she won't have any shame

plenty of biomums we read about here when the exhubby loses his job she tells him to have his new wife pay cs instead of exwife getting off her arse, getting a job herself to joint support their minor child. Apparently for some of these crazy biomums, they are not financially responsible for their kids but the stepmum is

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Your DH needs to find real employment. Everywhere is hiring right now. It doesn't matter if the work is below him or the pay isn't enough, at this point any consistent income is better than the odd photography job. You seem to be making excuses for him when he is taking advantage of you. Most places are paying more than they have in the past because of the shortage of workers. Are you sure he is being honest when he tells you about the lack of good pay or the lack of jobs?

If he can't pay his child support, he needs to go through official channels and get it lowered or set up a payment plan for what he owes. Since he is not working full time, he should have the time to take care of the necessary paperwork.

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Yes I agree with you he needs to find permanent full time work. He has been applying because I see him applying and we even had someone redo his resume professionally but we just did this so maybe he will get more call backs. He has done a few zoom interviews but only one call back which was really far from us so he turned it down. I'm not making excuses because I know how hard it is, I was looking for working about 8 months ago so it and I applied to soooo many places and did not get a call back until the company I work for now offered me a job . He is willing to accept a low paying job but so far the photo jobs he is booking end up paying out more so I think that is why is it sticking with them because we need the extra money with the new baby now. But tonight I told him to just take anything for now for the sake of the child support and someone better will come along but atleast the child support won't be a added stress.

Livingoutloud's picture

Is he on unemployment? He hasn't had a job since summer started. That's way too long. He could walk into any store or fast food place and start working tomorrow. Sure not a high pay but better than nothing. Some places pay 17 an hour. Of course it's hard to live on but it's more than zero an hour! He could still do photo gigs tk supplement his income. He must support his children, not just SD 

separate your accounts. No more joint accounts.

Don't  be too nice. He must have a job like now, not tomorrow. Make it clear to him that you aren't going to be a sole provider starting today 


Ashleytenorio17's picture

He is not on unemployment because his previous employer lied about the reason why they let him go. He has court Monday about it since he is fighting it. He has submitted proof to the court so hopefully they tule in his favor . The issue with him getting paid way less is we would have to pay for daycare for our 2 small children and after school care for our son so that's a added expense we aren't paying now since he is with the kids right now. Also the baby can not go in any daycare until she is 8 weeks old which she is not. So it's a tough situation because accepting a losing paying job just for the sake of child support puts us in a even bigger struggle with our children. I told him to just send the most he could through the portal since he was sendinng a minimum and seeing about a grave yard job to work at night . His photos jobs have has been bookings has been enough with my income for us to pay rent, bills and groceries it's just the child support that is behind because the amount was incorrectly high and they never adjusted it. He has been paying it Little by little but I guess it's not good enough for BM . 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

It is good he fighting for unemployment and helping with childcare, but the reality is he needs more money to meet his obligations. It doesn't matter if BM is being unreasonable about the child support, right now it is a legal obligation that he has. SInce he can't work during the day when you are working, he can find a job at night. He could pick up something part time in the evenings or weekends and still make time for his photoshoots. I know it is not the life he wants forever, but for right now he needs to step up.

IDontCare3117's picture

Don't provide ANY information at all until you have confirmed w/ the AG's office the letter is legit.  Even if it is legit, consult with an atty of your first.  

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Right I'm torn on wether he should provide any information but I don't wanna mess with the AG 

thinkthrice's picture

For separate finances and call your attorney, STAT!!!

No info until you've talked with your attorney.

Ashleytenorio17's picture

I opened another checking under my name only and a savings as well. I think BM is really just being extra. DH doesn't owe enough for them to take any action as far as i know but she did report him. They just review their case about a month ago she the attorney general is aware of the situation and told DH he could make payments to the portal which is what he has been doing until he find a permanent full time job 

Rags's picture

lowering his CS, then the incorrect element is that DH was not paying what the was ordered to pay.  I get that stuff happens. But, the honus is on the NCP to promptly get a request in for CS relief.

My guess is, that BM has filed for a CS review and your DH is about to get nailed for arrears and a higher CS amount. He/you had better get all of your records and ducks in a row if you are going succesfully defend what is coming.

Good luck.