After verbally attacking myself and my kids for years and doing it pretty much all week then BM called me so maybe we could have a adult conversation and stop all this crazy drama . Well I guess she thought I was gonna join her on her bashing on DH or something and just say how sorry I felt for her , that did not happen. The conversation started out calm , I told her I did not appreciated her constantly attacking my family. Of course she denied it but I told her I saw all her text and then she apologized for it. Then she went on to say how she gets no help from DH financially again I told her we have proof of everything he sends to the portal and reminded her that it was her that agreed to him paying half of the insurance since he can not add SD to his insurance because he doesn't have a policy at this time so he pays whatever amount BM agreed to because she was complaining about paying for medical and dental stuff. She didn't get satisfied with that she then she went on to say that she the one who bought her own home ( last month ) and works and how she is a hood role model for her daughter . I told her that was good for her that she finally got off her ass after spending 20 years not working at all and living off other people . That is what a single mother should do, and did she want some type of award because I have been doing for me and my family since I had my son 11 years ago! She is not the first single mother to actually , work and be a mother ? Lol then she moved on she say to continue her bashing of DH and complain that he doesn't get her more , again I reminded her that she is the one that moved 3 hours away and also she is the one and SD saying that SD hates being here with us and doesn't want to come , and recently when SD was forced to come SD left with out DH permission while I was watching her . Evev after hearing SD doesn't want to come because she " is not feeling it" DH would still ask for her until recently he didn't this past weekend . I asked her if they expect him to beg and grovel for SD? Also I reminder yet again that she told him just the other day how SD would not be coming to see use anymore and blah blah. I told her you JUsT like SD need to understand that your hurtful words have consequences but I understand now why SD is the way she is. She cusses out my son, she says horrible things about our family to anyone who will have pitty in her , why? Because like BM she knows or things she can say whatever she wants and no consequences will come from it, she can go around hurting peoples feeling then literslly talk to you the next day as if nothing happened. I told her that type of toxicity does not go around in My house , she can run her home how ever she wants . But here we respect each other and hold a standard on ourselves. Then finally she wanted to know why I don't STEP up as a step mother and push DH more to get SD and why I don't take care of SD when DH has to work . Most of the time I do take care of SD when DH had to work until recently when I said why should I have to? Sd is given the option to either go with him or stay with BM but BM wants me to take her. I told her because it was not my responsibility to do that and SD is here to see DH . She didn't like that and told me "well FK you then!!!!!!!l"  I told BM that in the past i would do alot for SD but after getting the silent treatment and looked at as a stranger I stopped , again not accountability was put on SD , only that I should do more . so that was that , I didn't need to cuss at her or anything , I let her bring the trashy ness out. The  SD text DH and says if she is coming this weekend she does not want to stay at our house .. well sorry SD again that is not on you to make and again this situation was partly caused by you . And if you want DH to get you but NOT stay in our home because BM can't get over herself then maybe you should just not come ??? She has not reason to feel anything about me I was not the one cussing or anything. Yet again I will be blamed for this.... fun times