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Another SKID Christmas season…

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Or as I like to call it... "let's act like we care about DH and others season" I literally cringe now at the Holiday season only because of SD13! She has managed to ruin every Christmas holiday ( and BM to be fair ) but the last 2 Christmas have been great due to her last year not wanting to come at all because MIL was not gonna have a party because she had COVID and the year before we had COVID so she did not come . This and really every holiday is BMs time of year to act like she is not doing anything for the holiday and usually will leave SD with us the entire holiday... but anyways the real reason I am posting is because I am sick and tired of this spoiled brat getting gifts when she does not deserve them nor

makes any type of effect to actually see and visit with the people getting her the gifts... and yes those people getting her the gifts are at fault too. SD 13 is horrible in school, she ignores DH and MIL all the time , she has told DH numerous times she doesn't want to spend time with MIL ( which of course DH doesn't tell MIL so MIL goes on to treat SD like an angel) she has told BM she doesn't like coming over here and SD has told MIL that I am the reason why her Dad doesn't "love her " anymore ! Ohhh and the other delightful things like SD not even acknowledging her siblings or me for that matter... she is just a really entitled little shit. Her birthday was in August and DH got her a $100 guitar in October for her birthday so technically she just got a gift ( we already had it out over that since DH doesn't have a job) but I just thought it was really unfair because I spend at the most $50 on my and our kids (DD3 DS6) for their birthdays , which DH doesn't get them gifts for! So DH asked for SDs list today and I'm like oh lord ..... I started getting gift for mY kiddos back in oct since we have 4 now . Has DH asked what he should get any of them ( not BS11 ) NOPE he sure has t but if he is over there asking SD for a list he better make sure he gets all his children gifts then and not just assume it's all gonna fall on me . He has a pretty standby enflow of incone but it's not a huge amount . Just enough to help with bills and groceries. Also I don't think he needs to be spending too much on SD ( for soooo many reasons) becaus he just spent $100 on her guitar. I made a promise to myself to not buy SD anything for Christmas at all ! Not a stocking stuffer or anything ! I usually make sure she has a good amount to open each year but this year I said hell no I'm gonna worry about my Own and she doesn't deserve anything from me! If she feels upset she has only 1 or 2 gifts to open ohhhh wellllll I'm sure she will use that to cry to MiL about and further explai. Why I am an evil step  mom ... I honestly do not care !!! I also told my mother not to waste her money getting her anything because each year my mom gets SD a gift and each year SD leaves it at our house and never wears it or anything so no... just had to vent that! Who else is on the SKID present strike this year ?!?!? 

Comments

Yesterdays's picture

Edited. I agree with Rags. Get nothing at all for SD and don't bring it up, don't get involved. Say nothing. Nadda. Then...just work with your hubby to ensure the remaining kids get some nice presents. 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

This is true . I already started to buy gifts for my 4 children so I could spread out my finances. We tried to set a limit before but I thought it was unfair for my children  because SD usually gets money and such whenever she would see MiL and such. I'm just gonna worry about mine and DH can handle SD 

Yesterdays's picture

Sorry I had edited my comment. Yes it's true with blended families the kids get sooo much already! It's nice to just plan a nice holiday, dinner and spending time together. 

Rags's picture

family branches.

You cannot control that.  Make it special for yours.  Sure, CODs with multiple homes, families, extended families, etc.. .may get a number of separate and complete holiday experiences and sets of gifts.  Don't let that distract you from your family's holiday.

As hard as that may be. 

In our case, the SpermClan used this as a SKid torture device complaining to him that it was not fair that he got nice things and his three younger Spermidiot spawned half sibs didn't.
 

SpermGrandHag's head about exploded when SS told her that his half sibs did not get Christmas gifts because SpermGrandHag's church did not believe in or celebrate Christmas.  Apparently he kept going with the massage that it could not be unfair that his mom and our family does celebrate it.  The Hag lost her shit on my DW on a call after SS killed her manipulative crap on that topic.

Interstingly, the next year, suddenly, the SpermClan was celebrating Christmas. In conflict with her Church's doctrine.

My Skid is smart and as he gaine dmore clarity on the facts, he was less reticent in defending himself from their toxic manipulations.

Pardon

Yesterdays's picture

Maybe that came across weird. That's not how I meant it. I just get my kids what I want. I give them a great Christmas. Well thought out stuff but... Yes they do gets lots elsewhere too. So I don't need to get tonnes of stuff. Kids don't need tonnes of presents imo. But some nice well thought out gifts :) 

Rags's picture

 The whole blended family holiday dynamic is what is weird. Lol. Basically like the whole blended family thing is weird.

I absolutely am on board with your special well thought out gift philosophy. 

As a product of the Ward and June Cleaver parenting/family model, even after being in a blended family marriage for 28 years, I still find some of it weird.

Take care of you.

 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Amen to that! For some reason BM mom doesn't celebrate Christmas but SD still gets a ton of gifts from MiL and others . I try like you said to not be bother by the amount of gifts MIL and SIL give the kids . I always make sure mine are covered with items they actually want and need. SD gets a bunch of crap in my opinion . Does she really need a hello kitty bath mat lmao !!!!!

Rags's picture

For others it is about who got more and for others it is about how much was spent on them. Who knows?

I have life long memories of special gifts from mom and dad going back to some of my earlierst memories.

I hope my son has the same.

 

 

Rags's picture

of crap behavior.

I agree with you. If she has not earned equitable gifting with her behavior, don't participate in her gifting.

You cannot control what her multi faceted blended family threads do for her, you can only control what you do.

Don't say a word to her father. Just disengage.  If she or daddy say somehting about her not getting any gifts, be direct and clear. Her behavior over the past yeart or more does not justify her receiving gifts.

Then get on with enjoying your holiday.

If necessary, point out to daddy that he did nothing as far as gifts for toxic SD.  That... is on him.  That you are not participating in gifts for toxic SD gifts, is on toxic SD.  

Keep that message front an center.

 

Ashleytenorio17's picture

Totally agree!!! I haven't said a word about SD and gift buying and DH has not asked me anything about what our kids need and want or what he is getting them but I am gonna ask him today what he plans on getting the kids since he wants to ask SD for her list . God I hope she just decides yet again to not come 

Shieldmaiden's picture

Hi, I am another evil stepmother who used to spend hundreds of dollars at Christmas on my stepdaughters - until they turned on me this year. I am the reason their dad doesn't love them anymore, too. I ruined their childhoods with my "attitude", etc. So this year I got 2 $25 Amazon gift cards. If they deign to show up, I will will present them with their gift cards. If not, I will buy myself something nice. He heh. 

I think they will be shocked to find out how little their dad actually thinks about Christmas, other than cooking a nice meal - which I think is fine. I have always been the one to make the holidays nice for them - until now. Now they are going to find out what an "attitude" from me really looks like. (Eyebrow wiggle and evil grin). **

Oh yeah, and guess who reminds Daddee of their birthdays and gets them birthday gifts?  Me! So their Daddee just got called out for forgetting SD19's birthday. I must have "forgot" to remind him. OHHH NOOO! Boo hoo. Daddee is getting the cold shoulder. I am heartbroken, as you can tell. 

So, for the first time in years, I am feeling pretty damned good. I even have money to save and money to spend. Life is good when you give up on little entitled shits that leech off you and your loved one. 

Rags's picture

I have always been the one to make the holidays nice for them - until now. Now they are going to find out what an "attitude" from me really looks like. (Eyebrow wiggle and evil grin). **

Oh yeah, and guess who reminds Daddee of their birthdays and gets them birthday gifts?  Me! So their Daddee just got called out for forgetting SD19's birthday. I must have "forgot" to remind him. OHHH NOOO! Boo hoo. Daddee is getting the cold shoulder. I am heartbroken, as you can tell. 

Rags's picture

(Golf Clap!)

 

I have always been the one to make the holidays nice for them - until now. Now they are going to find out what an "attitude" from me really looks like. (Eyebrow wiggle and evil grin). **

Oh yeah, and guess who reminds Daddee of their birthdays and gets them birthday gifts?  Me! So their Daddee just got called out for forgetting SD19's birthday. I must have "forgot" to remind him. OHHH NOOO! Boo hoo. Daddee is getting the cold shoulder. I am heartbroken, as you can tell. 

Diablo

Elea's picture

I keep trying to bring myself to get young adult SD's a gift from me. If for no other reason than to highlight to DH that I go out of my way to be nice while they do nothing to reciprocate. I am sure they will give only DH a gift, as always, even if the gift is a home gift. (And guess who the lady of this house is?) But I digress ... I just can't bring myself to do it. They are so snooty about their "sustainability" beliefs and will complain that my gift giving is wasteful just to be mean even if I know it is something they really like or need. If I do buy them something it is coming out of our joint account.