From BM to DH:
I am so upset with you right now. What were you thinking. Since when is it okay for our daughter to bale on her commitments? Did you allow it because you really did not feel like coming to get the book? Not sure I understand the reasoning behind it? It is our job to teach her that when you make a commitment you honor it to the best of your ability, not to teach her oh well if you don't feel like it no worries. Did you know she through Thursday evening because I did not bring the book home, and she claimed that she had to sell five of those books by Monday morning. Then all of a sudden she's with you and it's not a big deal. You wont come get a book but you will keep her out past nine on a school night helping your neighbor build a deck. You keep your commitments but she does not. That is so wrong on so many levels I can start to tell you. I'm not going to be the only bad guy here you have to help and you have to see that she does the right thing. Did you talk to her about her moving in with you when she is twelve. I guessing the answer to that questions is no. You can create a mess now what about cleaning them up? Stop thinking of yourself, there are others involved in this even if you don't like it, and I'm tired of cleaning up after you.

DH'S RESPONSE:
You forgot to bring it home, I didn’t come and get it. Her book, her responsibility to make sure she has it, NOT to rely on someone else to take care of it. If there are consequences then she will have to face them. This weekend she did 10 hours of community service and has the papers to prove it, we were cleaning up when you called at 8:52 last night and we were home at 9:00, she took a shower and was in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 9:45 when I cut her light out.

I did talk to her this weekend, several times. She said that about choosing where she lives when she turns 12 because she is very unhappy living with you. She says you are always unhappy and angry and upset and you are constantly yelling at her for everything whether it is her fault or not. She feels like you take all of your problems out on her. You are constantly threatening her and hitting her when its not justified. She has a lot of resentment towards you that you need to fix that fast, not me--or else she will end up hating you forever. It obviously is getting to the point that she wants to leave and sees that living with us as her only solution. Also she has stated that she has made several requests to spend more time with me and you have told her she can not, that I only can have the days I have unless something comes up. I do not have a problem with her spending more time with me and I don’t think that we have an issue on that unless I am mistaken seeing as there is no court order. This is a mess you have created not me.

Jeez....