My ds12 complains about my dh sometimes. In fact currently they are getting along pretty poorly. It is hurtful to me as I truly feel caught in the middle as I see both sides. My dh has been very upset lately regarding his own son and yes, I think he is being hard on my ds and taking it out on him. My ds has certainly taken notice of the extra harshness of my dh and is acting like a real butt in response. It is difficult for me to support either of them as truly they are both acting like assholes. They got into an argument last night and I got up and went downstairs and ignored them both. Not very mature I know-but I was having truoble coming up with the right words to address it.

I did address this morning a little with dh-eh complained as I didnt do anything to back him up when he was yelling at ds last night. I told him I was having a hard time with how he was handling his own anger and I've told him before that it makes it very difficult for me to back him up in those situations. My ds came in the room at that point-I told dh I had spoken to ds later that evening about his behavior and I reminded ds this morning that he was wrong not to be more respectful and that i was disappointed in him-but that I felt that the two of them had issues that they needed to work out on their own. (My ds was not doing chores as directed by my dh-my dh has already given ds a punishment. He spent all of Monday in his room, Monday evening his ipod was taken from him, and Tuesday evening he asked for it back which prompted the argument between them-he did do some chores on Tuesday during the day but dh was not satisfied with that and still wanted him to do the original chore)

If my dh vented on here-I am not sure I would care-I am quite sure I wouldnt want to see it as reading it would probably hurt my feelings-but I would rather him vent here then go to his family and tell them bad things about my kid and our family or take out his frustration on my ds or me or the other kids.

I would probably have to slap him upside the head. LOL. Just kidding, but I truly could not imagine what he would have to vent about.

I take that back…now that his son has gone in military a few weeks ago, he thinks that my son should start doing yard work around the house. I don’t actually disagree, but it sure is funny that for the two years his son lived here it was never mentioned for SS to do yard work. hmmmm

If my DH were on here venting about my Bio I'd be very curious to hear his take on the situation. However that's what the site is for. My Bio's SM however, doesn't really earn the title SM because she's really never around my son. Until about 3 years ago, my Bio used to travel to GA to spend time with his Dad and SM was there. My son didn't like her very much because according to him she was mean to him, but I can see how it would be difficult for someone to love my boy. Until recently he was a really difficult child. His ADHD had him bouncing off the walls and even I, his own mother, couldn't stand him much. Thru lots of great programs in school, sports and LOTS of reinforcements my son has done a complete 180 and seems to have slightly grown out of his ADHD WITHOUT the use of any drugs. My Bio used to tell me hated my DH. And I also understood why. My DH had a hard time bonding with my son because he was such a difficult kid. However, in the last 3 years, their relationship has really blossomed into something great and I am very grateful to see it happen. I take responsibility, I spoiled my Bio rotten, and had a hard time disciplining him because I always used the ADHD as a crutch. After a while, I realized how bad I was making things so I had to snap out of it. Right now he's at the end of a 2 week grounding and he's taken his punishment like a champ. No whining, no fits, just basically rolling with the punches. It's good to see how he's grown and I'm happy that all around our blended family situation seems to be under control. As controlled as a blended family situation can be I guess...

My DH has been on here venting just recently. Unfortunately it wasn't an honest vent. He got embarassed by something and molded the story to fit the validation he was looking for--and he got it too. He completely left out things, changed things, and exaggerated (of course positive for him, negative for the Skids and me). Not happy about it at all. Pretty upsetting to see him actually lie. I mean, when I have come on here and vented in the past (I've been a member for over 2.5 years) I was honest--because I want honest feedback, not validation that I am right. I also didn't harp on or exaggerate the negative on his Bkids--actually mentioned the positives. He on the other hand --- wow oh wow. Some of the things he said just totally are not true and/or greatly exaggerated. Of course I'm not surprised, I've been struggling with his critical and judgemental attitude about my Bkids and my parenting all along. Of course his Bkids can do no wrong. That's why I came here to vent. I haven't called him out on it yet. I just am sitting back and watching him dig his hole. At least I will have it writing so he can't dispute it later when he does come to me and tell me that he got other's opinions and he was validated.

OMG. That is terrible NoDrama! I also think a lot os SM's on here do the same thing. Kinda sad to seek validation based on wrong information or out right lies.

I don't have any bios, but BM for my skids knows I come on here to vent. Even the skids know. They're all happy that I've found a place to get out my frustrations rather than ranting back on them. DH and BM have seen massive change now that I have a supportive community behind me. SS15 even said "I'm so glad you have someone to talk to now. You are way better to us now than you were b4". So, I have to say that it's a good thing that I'm on here.

As far as skids loving/hating their SP, you have ot get over it. SS15 hated me for a while, now he's on the fence and there have been times that he has loved me. Same with SS10. I think there's something inside every skid that wishes they didn't have ot have SPs, but the ones that see their SP as a blessing are the ones that have seen a positive change in their BP because of the SP. I'm hoping that continues to improve for my skids.

My DH has had his boys come to him and said they hate me. They've both been rude to me countless times. I'm fortunate to have a DH that backs me up and says stuff like "Well, whether you like her or not, roses is your SM. You don't have to like her, but you do have to respect her and follow her rules while you're here."

Yeah, I once posted a blog entry wondering if my DD was a dreaded skid. I think she might be, but I also think her SM did something unreasonable, and I swear up, down, and sideways I'm not a psycho BM. She and her SM had only met a few times, which is only a few times less than she has visited her bio-dad across country, her SM tried to discipline her via email/text/facebook, my daughter sassed her about it being none of her business, and I'm left to actually discipline my daughter for disrespecting this virtual stranger, who I did back up despite her having been the woman my exH left me for and even though I do feel it was none of her business. So to answer the other question, no, I don't understand why there are so many pyscho BMs. Maybe they are over-represented on Step Talk because people without pyscho BMs and their maladjusted offspring don't need a venting forum.

Oh, and my kids get along great with my SO. Secretly sometimes I think he likes them better than his bio-kids. We don't have any mutual kids, so that is the one piece I can't speak to. Other than that I have skids, they have a psycho BM, my kids are skids, and I'm a BM (hopefully not psycho), and my kids have other step-siblings. Between us we've got most of the step-situations covered.

My BDs don't have a stepmother, my ex remained alone after we split. If my DH came on here venting, I would be somewhat surprised, frankly, as my BDs have always treated him with generosity, respect, and warmth. When they both worked in the same town, he used to meet my younger daughter for lunch occasionally. I was pleased, but not surprised, that good relationships developed between my DH and my daughters, since they are all human beings. BM and her sprogs are an alien species and don't have the earth communication skills all that well yet.