You are here

For those with mentally ill bms

Anon2009's picture

Is bm easier to deal with when she is on meds and/or getting help?

Dh and I strongly believe that bm has a mental illness that she refuses to get help for. Maybe she doesn't know she has one. However, I wish she'd get help for the sake of the sds.


ItHasGottenBetter's picture

Mine too. I think its more that person has to acknowledge they are a POS first and want to get help.

Mine is Borderline and a drug addict. I can predict her cycles every month....the manic, I got my SSI check and my monthly script and I'm wonder woman and then by the end of the month the depressed, I dont get my check for another week, sold or did all my pills and I'm sick.

blayze's picture

Same over here. BM was diagnosed bi-polar, but I KNOW it's BPD. Shari Schreiber of describes BPD not so much as a personality disorder or mental illness...she says that it's "emotional instability", thus more of arrested emotional development, rather than something in your wiring. BM has the emotional development of a toddler. She makes the same dumb choices over and over again (5 kids by 4 BD's). She hurts/destroys/uses/manipulates/suffocates everyone who comes into her path...but drugs will not fix her. She has to get to the core of her issues which are a drunk ass, narcissistic mother who abandoned her in childhood and a father who left when she was a child (probably to get away from her crazy mom). She has to address her core shame...feelings of worthlessness brought on by being UGLY. On the inside. Wink

I wish she would get help as well, and I've even prayed for her dumb ass. Luckily for her kids, God watches out for babies and fools.

blueorblackink's picture

My DH has paranoid schizophrenia. Although we know he is mentally ill, he believes that his version of reality is real and the medicated reality is a trick. He will stay on his meds if 1. he gets too freaked out or depressed or 2. I threaten to leave. In his mind he doesn't need the medication. He cannot be talked to or reasoned with when he is in la-la land. I would love to say he stays on his meds, but he doesn't. I have tried just about everything and sometimes I really want to quit. But I love him. And my heart breaks for him.

In my experience mentally ill people do not recognize that they are mentally ill. To them the way their mind functions is normal. They have no basis of comparison. And the side effects of the meds are occasionally terrible. In my DH case he would rather skip the meds and feel 'normal' than actually be normal.

Biomomof2's picture

My dad was paranoid schizophrenic as well. I know you were speaking about your personal experience but it is not true to blanket all mental ill people as say they don't know they are mentally ill.
My mother is borderline, bi-polar with manic tendencies and split personality tendencies.
My dad knew his thoughts weren't normal. He would check in with me to see if his thoughts were ok or if he needed a check-up on meds. My mom on the other hand is exactly what you describe. She is normal, everyone else has the problem. Her personality is the unfixable kind. Yes, I know BPD and bi-polar are not fixable, but they can be managed if the person is willing to see the problem. I have meet bi-poplars and BPD people that are fully aware and monitor themselves. I have had my experience with my dad, he was aware and would monitor himself. Not always well, but he knew he didn't think normally.
None of these PD and mental illnesses are fixable. But depending on the person they can be treatable and live a somewhat normal life. But it takes personal accountability and wanting to be "normal".
My ysd went to school with a girl who is bi-polar. She doesn't take meds, has a counselor and is very honest and checks her behavior.
Like every issue it comes down to the person.