SKs and BMs putting up a wall against us (the stepparents)
In reading a lot of the blog entries here, and looking back on my own experience, I think skids tend to put up walls against the stepparents. I think they do it because, deep down, they feel some sort of insecurity about us. They may feel insecure about how much Dad loves them, how much happiness he gets from them, about having to share Dad with a new person and about the new stepparent in general.
Often, their putting up these walls makes them become more distant with their biological parents. Maybe they don't want their news/information getting back to us stepparents? Like I said, a lot of it stems from insecurity. I think on some level they think (at least I did) "what about me? Don't I make you happy? Don't you love me?" I knew my parents loved me, but it took me awhile to warm up to my stepdad and accept him and my stepmother.
My SDs had a lot of walls put up towards me, too. They've started taking them down because they cannot turn to BM for help, love and support. And let's face it, there are some issues that a lot of girls feel uncomfortable talking about with their dads.
What has been your experience with SKs putting walls up against you? What would you say to those stepkids who have put up those walls? What would you say to the stepkids who put up such great walls that their parents are now hurting?