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Time to go home

Anniemorris's picture

Before any one starts i know its lock down. But this was excpsinal cercumstansis. 

My partners dad passed away 4 weeks ago. My sd 17 lives with mum over the other side of Wales. 

My partner told her she needed to come up to see her bamp before he passed, she didn't. She nagged then to come up days after. 

My partner drove there and got her. We were told the funeral would be 3 weeks away yet due to the situation we are all in. 

He told sd to go home then come back the week of the funeral for 2 weeks..... She wouldn't go. 

She said she felt there no point. We said ok. 

Now the funeral is over and my partner has hinted for her to go home, she wont go. 

She says if she goes home she carnt do anything..... 

Thing is all she does here is sleep all day and awake all night on the x box, so nothing really she carnt do at her home..... 

My partner reluctantly asks if she wants to go out for a walk wirh him etc as when she says no, he actually turns around and says thsnk god fof that. 

Yet when i bring upabout her still being here, now 6 weeks down the line  and even he wants her to go home, i  am met with but shez still my daughter...... 

Shes actually quite messy like you would think our house has been robbed like.

You bring up about her going home and its no because mum wont let me out...... But you arnt lst out here!!!!!!!!

Driving me round the bend, because next week my partner goes back to work as a key worker, her mum has asked her to go home but she wont........ 





justmakingthebest's picture

Like the above posters said- pack her stuff for her if you have to, get in the car and head to her mom's. Why hasn't her mom come to get her either? This is crazy to me, unless she is so miserable to live with her mother doesn't want her back either. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

So, he demanded that she show up, then go back, then show up AGAIN, and then go back AGAIN in the middle of a global pandemic? Honestly, she's the only one who seems to be making sense at the moment of "staying in one place for an extended period of time".

I don't understand, either, why her father is pushing her to leave? And why her father, who demanded she be around, is now shoving her off? Is this a pattern with them - bring her around when she's needed, but ship her back when she's not?

I get from a SP perspective why you would rather have the house back to routine, but I'm utterly baffled by your DH. Especially since he wants her to go back but he drove her across Wales (which doesn't seem like a short trip). Is he offering to drive her back or expecting her to hitchhike or take public transportation? If he wants her gone, it seems that he just needs to do he did to bring her there, but in reverse.

Anniemorris's picture

He will drive her back, but the reason ehy she cannot stay long with us is because of her behaviour etc. 

But what i cannot put up with is one min he wants her gone and goes for walks on his own and feels its ok to leave me with her!!!!!! Shes your god dam kid.

And the next hes all over her and says she can stay as shes not hurting any one...... 

Thing is she has been given multiple options to come and actually live with us and shes constantly turned them down..... So why now!

As for routine thats out the window untill she goes home. 

I have brought up that while she stays here and he is moaning about how much she is wzsting food and money etc  that her mother is collecting money for her and shes not even there. 

Her mother is self rightous and will not collect her as he dad wanted her so he should be dropping her off. 

Even though her mother moved her 245 miles away overnight with no words at all. 

24 years as a SM's picture

Since she is living in the home, give her a ton of clenaing chores to do. Make sure your DH follows through with ALL the chores that she has to do, that should run her a$$ back to her mothers. she's not a 2 year old, tell your DH to start parenting the brat.