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OT - Women Wednesday

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Happy Hump Day, STalkers! Many of us are halfway through the work week and on the downhill slide to the weekend. Woo hoo!!!

Ladies, why do you suffer for fashion? WHY?! What is it about a fashion trend that makes you willing to be uncomfortable, in pain, or even not looking your best? Fashion trends are typically for a SMALL group of people and chances are usually pretty good that YOU are not part of that group.

I had dinner with my sister last night. My sister is my best friend. In all of our decades together, we have only had one argument. Last night... the beginning was awkward.

Sis had a makeover done yesterday and asked me how I like it. Well.... I did NOT. Unfortunately, my first comment was, "You need a little powder on your nose," My sister said, a little stiffly, "It's The DEWY Look. Dewy makes you look youthful." Um.... NO, IT DOES NOT. Here was my attractive 57yo sister with emphasized crows' feet, lips an unnatural shade of pink, and a face that looked like it had been dipped in oil. Not just her cheeks. HER WHOLE FACE. 

My sister and I have always been honest with each other. And we do our best to be tactful about it. This was NOT easy and I finally just had to be honest. 

Me: Do YOU like it?
Sis: Uh.. I guess so.
Me: I not exactly sure how to say this, but I don't think it's a flattering look for you.
Sis: Why not? (She was genuinely baffled.)
Me: Um.... How old was the girl who gave you the makeover.
Sis: ~shrugs~ Early 20s.
Me: Ah, okay. The Dewy Look is for teens and 20s. It's not the best look for older women.
Me: Well... Oh, he!!. I'm just gonna say it. Your face is so shiny - it's TOO shiny. Looks like you've been sweating and, well he!!, it emphasizes your crows' feet. And that lip color is NOT natural. ON ANYONE. Your lips are naturally rosy. You have a purty mouth! (long-running Deliverance joke, I winked luridly and she laughed - PHEW!)
Look, you're 57. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. BE 57. Be the best 57 you can be. You don't have to follow fashion to be attractive.
Sis: Well, f*ck. Looks like I'll be getting a $157 refund for that unopened makeup. ($157?!I damn near fell outta my chair!!!)

So Sis used her napkin (paper!) to wipe off the "dew", pulled out her old compact, powdered her nose, and looked great!


Have YOU suffered for fashion? Clothes you can't move in? Shoes that hurt your feet - even make them bleed?


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oooooooooowwwww!!!! Every pierced tongue person I've ever met speaks with a bit of a lithp. Er, lisp.

I suppose that's better than your headlights or hooha!

Siemprematahari's picture

I use to wear high heels, stilettos at that. I don't know how I walked around like that when I was in my early twenties....especially working in the city where you have to always be on the go. I can't pull that off anymore and now I dress for comfort and to look great for my age now.

I think its wonderful how open and honest you were with your sister. I'm sure she appreciates it and it's better coming from you than anyone else.


Aniki-Moderator's picture

Hola Siempre!

My sister also wore stilettos - she worked at a jewelry store and wore them for hours on end. Now she can only tolerate shoes with a 2-inch or lower heel. However, she suffered for fashion and didn't go for comfort. I, on the other hand, had stilettos that were so comfortable, I could dance in therm for hours without any problems. Consequently, I can still wear them. I rarely do since my DH is only a little taller than I am.

It's wonderful to have such a strong relationship! To have that one person who will not let you go out with toilet paper hanging from the back of your skirt/pants! LOL

TwoOfUs's picture


I love your description of your conversation. I used to teach college and always got so annoyed by the girls following the fashion trends no matter what looked best on them. Anyone remember that runway trend in the early 2000's that had girls pairing jogger-style camo/cargo pants with satin slip style tank tops and high, strappy stilletos? 

No? I remember it vividly...because every other girl I saw at my University was wobbling around on mile-high heels looking like a total chunk in an outfit that only flatters the .00001%. Very lovely girls, too...very good-looking. 

I wasn't much older than them at the time...maybe 3-4 years older if that (I was a TA), but I already knew better. 

I'm also in an industry now where I get photographed from time to time and an HMU person does my face. 9 times out of 10 I fix what they've done. I keep the contouring (which I never do on myself) for camera but add a little blush and change the lipstick color usually. For some reason makeup artists like to put me in a lot of bronzer and bronze and brown-tone lipsticks and I really don't think those flatter me at all...though I know they're popular right now. I have light/olive skin, dark brown hair, and very light green my coloring is one of my best features. I feel like they put me in browns that deaden my complexion and my eyes...don't get it. I usually swap out the dark brown lipstick for a rosy/fuschia pop of sheer color and it lights everything up. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Oh, ISH! I certainly do remember that "fashion". Cue the projectile vomiting emoji, please!!

YOU know what looks good! I honestly do NOT understand why makeup 'artists' lean towards what's trendy withOUT considering the original canvas. I'm not 14. Do not come near me with that matte bubblegum pink lipstink. Yes, stink. Cuz if you put that on my mouth, I'm'na make a big stink about it!

I am NOT trying to look younger. I'm not ashamed of my age - never have been - and simply want to look NATURAL. Sure, if I'm going out in the evening and the lighting is lower, I'll wear darker eyeliner (or a little more) and a deeper shade of lip balm. I might even break out the mascara, but don't count on it!

beebeel's picture

I was in college 2001-2005 and this flash in the pan never caught on in my neck of the woods. Yuck lol

The strappy tank-tops were in then, though! I had a few that make me miss my early 20s bod! Sad

TwoOfUs's picture

I was in college 1997-2001...and a TA from 2002-2004. Gah. It was everywhere while I was a TA :) 

You could have been my "student" back then! 


Siemprematahari's picture

Ok you know what I HATE......someone wearing UGGS in the Summer with shorts.....WHYYYYYYYY

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ugh! lol

beebeel's picture

Can i just take the time to say these humongous eyeglasses that are super fad right now are plain ugly with a capital Ugh?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Beebeel, I have not even noticed that. Maybe it's not a thing in my area...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I take it back. I HAVE seen them. 1) you look like an owl. 2) you get makeup and sweat all over the damn lenses. NO THANKS!

TwoOfUs's picture

Agree on the weird eyeglasses. 

I would also like to point out that this "looking like a pile of rumpled, dirty laundry" trend and the high-waisted jean shorts trend can both go suck a big one. Why cute twenty-somethings want to look homeless or like they're wearing a loaded diaper is just beyond me. 

beebeel's picture

Those high waisted jeans that should have stayed dead in the late 80s?!? Gahhhh! We called them "mom jeans" before kids thought they were cool again lol. They make even the nicest figured ladies look like wide, flat asses with a belly. Bleh

Aniki-Moderator's picture

High-waisted jeans look good on very slim women. Anyone else wearing those looks dumpy.

Although it's better than wearing low-riders and letting your busted can o' biscuits flop over the top.

tog redux's picture

I just made this comment about being slaves to fashion to a few of my staff, who have been wearing the ankle length pants with flats and no socks ALL WINTER. It gets cold here, and off they go into the snow with no socks on.  It's insane, I don't get it. 

High heels as well.  Nope. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I've worn the ankle-length pants over Winter. I wear my Winter boots, then switch to either flats or ankle boots.

classyNJ's picture

I only suffer once a month when my hairdresser likes to pull the aluminum foils from my hair after highlighting.  It's the worst!

Thumper's picture

Yes yes yes too all of this.

Those pants in the links.......oh my gosh. They are the worst. I worked with a young woman just out of college from PIT. THAT was her thing.



Fashion...I care about what I look like in public. Even at matters to me.  But I am not held hostage to latest trends...classic styles YES, thats me.

Last week I was speaking to my hairdresser. I have  naturally long curly hair and I needed a few inches off and touch up. -I said PLEASE make my hair like everyone on tv with long hair. She laughed and said OK, do you want a wig or several hair extensions.

That put everything back into perspective for me.

What I do find difficult for me is thinking I should have very little to Zero body fat, flat six pack abs AND completly toned arms. Oh and that ugly square no hips body...


Its nice that you are able to have lunch OR dinner with your sister. Smile






Aniki-Moderator's picture

GL, I care what I look like in public, but don't believe I have to fall prey to craptastic fashion disasters to do so!

It IS nice! We darn near have our own language after almost half a century of conversing!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Who remembers the Laura Ashley drop-waist dresses? That drop-waist hit right about mid-buttcheek. Woe unto the woman who bent over and split that dress because her cheeks were a tad too generous for the dress.

strugglingSM's picture

I do not suffer for beauty anymore...I used to wear heels all the time, but now my feet hurt and I don't have time for that. 

I've always been hopelessly left out of most trends. Even when I wore a size 4, I never had a fully flat stomach, so never wore any clothing that exposed my stomach. Looking back, I probably did have a flat stomach, I just thought it wasn't...

I've also always been hopeless with hair, so thankfully missed many unfortunate hair trends. 

That said, I've worn unfortunate outfits...skirts that were too short in my 20s. Now that I've gained weight and don't like the way I look, I probably always look a bit frumpy. 

I too, have had unfortunate make-overs where I've spent way too much money on make-up that I'll never wear. I always tell the make-up artist that I like the "natural" look, but I always end up looking like a clown. My biggest regret is that i did not listen to my mother and DH about my wedding make-up. After the make-up trial, they both told me that they thought I had too much make-up on. The make-up artist insisted that that level of make-up would look good in the pictures. There's one picture where I like my smile and DH looks great, but I can't get over all the visible highlighting on my face. I look like a Kardashian or a drag queen. For context, on a daily basis, I wear a little eye-liner, under-eye concealer, light eye-shadow, and maybe mascara, no foundation, nothing else. Why I thought I needed full on contouring and fake eye-lashes for my wedding is beyond me. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Like you, I prefer the natural look. A bit of under-eye concealer, a little eyeliner, powder my nose, and slap on some lip balm. Sometimes I even use colored lip balm!

I've tried makeovers 3 times - in my 20s, 30s, and 40s.

  • 20s was Mary Kay and I had an allergic reaction to the product (plus, the colors were all wrong for me)
  • 30s was some $$$ makeup in the Mall of America. Needed a trowel to scrape it off.
  • 40s was another $$$ makeup place and, like you, I looked like a drag queen.

I'm in my 50s, so I guess it's time to give it another try. Maybe I can find someone who will actually listen. And maybe I will finally have the gumption to stand up for myself and speak up when they start contouring 583 different lines on my face...

notasm3's picture

I've had various make-up makeovers with various results.  But I had my makeup done by the Fox News makeup artists in NY for a TV appearance a few years ago - wow I looked beautiful!!!!  I don't remember that she did a whole lot.  But I could never come close to replicating it. They said my hair was okay as it was.

I mean seriously when I went back to my hotel and passed by the hotel bar men were turning to stare at me.  And not because I looked like a freak.  Of course it didn't hurt that I had on a red dress.  I look my best in red.

I remember wearing a girdle when I was 12 years old - and not fat at all.  What 12 year old needed a girdle?  And the girdles were 10x worse than Spanx - sometimes they even had boning in the sides.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I would love to have a makeover where I am actually happy with the end results. It needs to look natural, can't cost a fortune, and must feel 'light'.

I swear that girdles were impromptu chastity belts for panicky mothers. Most of those women in Spanx (and other support clothing ads) don't NEED that stuff. Show me someone with a muffin top and something that smoothes things out and doesn't take 45 minutes and a SWAT team to get me into it!

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I recently had a good make-over at Sephora. I had one there before that was ok, but I was never really happy with the foundation. I think what made the difference this time was the age of the sales clerk. I am a lousy judge of age, but I think she was approaching 40. As I am 58, with a very uneven skin tone, I needed something that would provide decent coverage, but not settle in my wrinkles. She gave me "Naked Skin" by "Urban Decay" and I swear the stuff is magic. The bottle says it is "weightless ultra definition" and that is definitely the case. She also showed me how to apply it with a little oval sponge thing and I think that really helps.

I have curly hair and went to Jr. and Sr. High school in the 70's - when straight hair was in. I tried everything short of ironing and was never successfull. I remember being just devasted when drying my hair on juice cans didn't work. However, when the big hair of the 80's came in, I didn't have to do anything but wash my hair and finger "scrunch" it. I didn't even have to use hair spray!

Aniki, I admire your ability to still wear heels. I wore them in the 80's and early 90's, and like you, I used to dance the night away. Chemo did some nerve damage to my feet and I didn't wear anything other than moccasins for years. Once I tried to wear heels again I found I had lost the ability! I also can't find any that are comfortable like they used to be. I make up for it with strappy sandals in the summer.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Thanks for the tip on the Urban Decay. I'll have to see if a store in the city carries that.

Oh my, 80s big hair. Remember waterfall bangs? Gads, the amount of hairspray that was used back then. But it certainly had staying power!!

From the very beginning, I refused to wear heels that hurt my feet. No pinching no chafing, no toe squeezing... Plus, I only wore leather shoes. Every time I bought a new pair of heels, I put on a very thin pair of socks, liberally coated the inside of the shoes with rubbing alcohol, and wore them around the house for an hour or two. I think those things are the keys to my still being able to wear heels.

Thumper's picture

Love your time line above.

I only use drug store makeup. Eyeliner, mascara, foundation, eyeshadow and now I have started using eyebrow pencil by ybf found on is THE best thing since sliced bread. I dont buy anything on there except this eyeliner.  If you wanted to go to youtube watch this,,, and type in

ybf eyebrow pencil

ITS AMAZING, it really is. Its about 20bucks for a set of 2.

Dont get sucked into her makeup kits....but the pencil is the bomb.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

GL, I don't think it's necessary (for ME) to pay $$$ for makeup. People have their preferred products which they SWEAR are the best. Hey, for them? I'm sure it is. But for my simple needs and my low budget? Not happening. I cannot imagine spending more than $10 a month on my makeup needs. Taking into consideration the fact that some things last longer (or shorter) than others. I simply do not have a need for more.

BTW, I'll take that sliced bread. No need for an eyebrow pencil. Yet! Wink