OT - Thankful Thursday
Happy Thursday, STalkers. We're one day closer to the weekend. Yippee!!! Anyone else having a long-arse week? Yesterday felt like a week all by itself. Ugh.
I've been dealing with some - to me - annoying, unnecessary crap. It's damn irritating when people try to make me part of THEIR drama. That's a big ol' HELL-NO in Aniki Land and moves you out one circle of trust.
What's the Circle of Trust? Layers, like an onion. Or an orge. And I've been feeling kinda Shrek-y lately with all that's going on. Here is a standard CoT. Naturally, if someone is toxic, they should NOT be close to the center! I'm going to work backwards...
- Strangers, toxic people. These people generate a feeling of mistrust because we do NOT know them OR... we know them all too well. This is the outermost circle (or outside your circle) and those in this circle should be as far from the center as possible.
- VERY LITTLE TRUST
- Store clerks, neighbors, that guy/gal at the gym. These are people you know casually, through minor encounters. You have friendly exchanges, but they are NOT your friends. You don't discuss much other than superficial topics.
- POOR TRUST
- Distant relatives, coworkers, neighbors (yes, again). You are friendly with these people, but would never ask for a favor or divulge intimate details of your life. (And if you ARE, WTH?!)
- MEDIUM TRUST
- Cousins, aunts/uncles, grandparents, friends, counselors, pastor. These are people with whom you have a close relationship, but NOT as close as your intimate circle. You spend time with them, have fun together, discuss a variety of topics (possibly delicate ones), and can probably ask them for a small favor.
- INTIMATE CIRCLE
- Parents, siblings, BFFs, spouse/SO. These people are the people you TRUST; the ones you lean on or go to first when you need help. The ones who take care of you when you're sick and stand by you during your most difficult times.
- SELF. That's right. It's all about YOU. Self care is vital to your health and well-being. YOU are your own primary caregiver.
Each time we expand our circle of trust and let people in, we tear down a psychological wall. But when we allow UNtrustworthy or toxic people in - especially to our innermost circles - we are exposing ourselves emotionally. A toxic person in your intimate circle means you are at their mercy and their behavior WILL end up taking a toll.
Our intimate circles should be made up of people who bring out the best in us; who give us joy and bring us light. So you need to be careful about what circle YOU allow people to be in. You may need to push some people out a layer. Or even to outermost/outside of the circle level. Don't be afraid to "move" them out a level or three. YOU are your first level of trust AND protection.
You may be thinking, "This is kinda interesting, Aniki, but I thought this was Thankful Thursday..."
It is indeed Thankful Thursday and I am thankful that I recognize MY circle layers and that I have finally reached a point in my life where I am not afraid to push people out of my intimate circle when they go from trustworthy to toxic.
Take care of YOU! xoxo