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OT - mini rant

Aniki-Moderator's picture

My sister, who is my BF, got p*ssy with me and griped that I've become "emotionally distant" over the past year. *scratch_one-s_head*

Um, well, we've been in a pandemic for one year now. And under house arrest, er, quarantine, for most of that time. Add to the fact that the two of us are... apple and orange, for lack of a better analogy (who has a better one?).

Extrovert vs Introvert

Sis: Social butterfly extrovert who likes to go out with friends at least twice a week; typically almost daily. 
Ani: Introvert, keeps socializing to a minimum (even when there is no quarantine). Bonus: No need to make excuse at this time to turn down invites!

Sis: Thinks she is A Rebel because she has been "breaking quarantine" to hang out with friends the entire time.
Ani: Considers "breaking quarantine" to be going for a long drive and hanging out on the isolated beach or in the woods with DH and that Sis' definition of Rebel is a bit whack.

Sis: Goes to work Every Single Day. The ONE change? Wearing masks.
Ani: Has been WFH for a solid year and never wants to return to the cacophony of the office.

Sis: Frequently invites me to "break quarantine" and hang out with her and her friends (one I very much dislike).
Ani: Gives the legitimate excuses of a) I will not socialize with Toxic Tw*t for ANY reason (and Sis knows this), 2) while the Offsets seem like a nice couple, them pushing to get to know me better is... weird to me, and iii) I sleep in on Sundays and am not about to haul my arse out of bed at 0530 to meet you REBELS for breakfast. 

Obviously, the pandemic and quarantine have put serious cramps in Apple's social life, while Orange here is perfectly content to stay at home. AS USUAL. But it is bloody frustrating to be asked time after time after time after time when I have given her the same responses Every.Single.Time. Even before this started, my responses would have been the same! And it's not like we were going out together a lot pre-pandemic - probably 2-3x a year (and we HAVE had dinner together twice), sooooooo... 

So last night, she asked it I wanted to go to breakfast this Sunday. 

Ani: No, thank you.
Sis: Why not?
Ani: Sunday is the only day I get to sleep in. You know that.
Sis: TT won't be there, just the Offsets, so you can come. 
Ani: Thanks, but, again, I sleep in on Sundays.  
Sis: What the hell is going on with you?!
Ani: What are you talking about?? I like sleeping in on Sundays.
Sis: Something is wrong. You've been emotionally distant since this (pandemic) started.
Ani: Emotionally distant?? What ARE you talking about? We still talk on the phone regularly and for HOURS.
Sis: There is SOMETHING going on with you. Why won't you go to breakfast with us? 
Ani: Good grief. I LIKE TO SLEEP IN on Sundays.
Sis: The Offsets really want to get to know you. You need to stop hiding at home. 
Ani: OMG, I am not hiding at home. I simply have no desire to haul my cookies out of bed. 
Sis: You're keeping something from me. 
Ani: Yeah, okay. Whatever.
Sis: Your emotional distance act is a bunch of crap!! Knock this sh!t off!!!
Ani: Aaaaaaaand I'm done with this conversation. TTYL.

 

What.The.Hell. To me, it seems like something is bothering HER. Could it really be as simple as me not wanting to go out for a breakfast playdate and make new friendsies with the Offsets? Nothing against them, but I have zero interest in adding to my friend collection at this time and do NOT understand the push. Maybe they want to indoctrinate me into a breakfast cult... Thoughts?

Comments

advice.only2's picture

Who the eff eats breakfast at 5:30 on a Sunday morning? I think you might be onto something with the cult thought process there...I mean who else pushes a breakfast that early other than a cult.

As for why she's being annoying and irritating and pesky...all I can assume is that's just a sibling trait built in. Maybe next time rather than tell her you are sleeping, tell her that you and DH have hot monkey tantric sex and it goes on for hours and Sunday is the only day in your schedule that works for both of you.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Advice, I would have to get up at 0530 to meet them at 0700. Still too early for me on my Sleep-in Sunday. A cult or the military!

Woman, I like the way you think! Next time she pushes she issue, I damn well WILL tell her that we start our Hot Monkey Tantric Sex late Saturday night and we are still going Sunday morning until lunch. *yahoo*

 

queensway's picture

There was a time (over 20 years) that my day started at 5:30 in the morning. Now I wake up around 8:30. So I get why sleeping in on Sundays is just the best thing ever for you. I did that for 20 years. Sundays were the day to sleep in and enjoy the morning. You need that Aniki. So don't let anyone tell you different.

Whether you are an introvert  or extrovert doesn't matter. Because you are just perfect the way you are. You have a great sense of humor and make life here on step talk fun. I can't tell you how much your blogs have made me laugh. Lets face it this past year has been hard to deal with for many of us. All we can do is our best. And it seems like that is what you are doing. HUGS

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Thank you, Queen! My day starts at 5am. That's when the alarm goes off, I hit the shower, grab some coffee, and log into work at 5:45am. Once we're back in the office, rise and shine time will be 4:30am because I'll need time to drive to the office. I do a lot of things on Saturday, so Sunday is, quite literally, my day of rest. 

And thank you, darlin', for saying such lovely things. xoxo

24 years as a SM's picture

I understand 100% of how you are feeling, a close friend is always calling and asking me to go with her and some of her friend to lunch or dinner. Like you, I don't want to go, I prefer to be home doing things that I like and not exposing myself to all her friends that hang out together or go to bars where everyone thinks COVID is not real. Plus, if they all start drinking, they expect me to be their DDriver, because I don't drink. Nothing is more fun than to get invited out with friends, only to end up with a bunch of loud sloppy drunk women and being sober.  *fool*

Aniki-Moderator's picture

24, even if I did not think Covid was real, I have no desire to socialize. This is nothing new for me. My social activities started declining over 15 years ago. The last 5 or so years, I was constantly looking for reasons to turn down invitations or making excuses for why I could not attend/didn't show up. Yes, there are times I lied and I feel no shame because I was doing it for my mental health and because I did not want to deal with the whining and wheedling and attempts to guilt me about putting myself first - something which has always been a struggle for me.

Being the expected DDriver would be annoying. Newsflash, drinkers! Try one of those newfangled thingies: taxi or uber! Or have an adult slumber party at someone's home or an Airbnb. Sheesh.

caninelover's picture

I hear you.  I have a few close friends and I enjoy interacting with them.  I don't like shallow social interactions and don't have the energy or desire to expand my little circle.  I am happiest on home on the weekends reading or cooking.  I like spending quiet time outdoors (like hikes and bike rides) but I don't like crowds at all.  I hate the office because it is all about shallow social interactions.

I would not get up at 5:30 to accomodate your sisters' plans either.  Actually my sister would not get up at 5:30 either so that would never be a situation for me ha ha.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Caninelover, not only do I don't have the energy or desire to expand my little circle, but I've been... "downsizing". I am no longer making an effort to... push to maintain a relationship with those from whom I've grown apart. If the desire to remain friends is strong enough, we'll be there when the other is available.

My sister is an early bird. I am a night owl. The only reason I work the hours I do is because I can get more work done in the morning AND I like to hotfoot it out of there and have hours left in the day!

Ispofacto's picture

Sis: Wanna go to breakfast at the ass crack of dawn?
Ani: Let's go at 11am

Sis: No!
Ani: Why won't you accomodate me???

lol

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Ispofacto, ass crack? The sun is still sleeping! 

I would actually be more open to brunch or lunch, but she's become damn near inflexible and wants things HER way. Guess that makes me inflexible, too... LOL

MamaPTK's picture

I had to read your situation twice to understand why you would think you could be wrong. You're not incorrect in any manner. You are you. That's not wrong at all. I would explain once...only once...that thank you for the invite but your personality is not hers. You enjoy people but enjoy your personal space and sleep ...this is your comfort zone.

She loves people and outings and it's great for her. You accept her as she is and you want the same from her. There is nothing wrong...you are just doing you.

Tell her to have fun at breakfast, you'll accept when you want to go out, you appreciate the invite , but you have a hot date with your pillow! 

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

MamaPTK, this is my sister. She knows I am an introvert and that my personality is not hers. I have told her at least a dozen times that I like to sleep in on Sundays. That is the problem. SHE KNOWS THIS and continues to ignore what I tell her.

Winterglow's picture

Next time she tries try turning things back on her. "What is WRONG with you? Why are you trying to control me?!"

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Winterglow, that is exactly what it feels like. Thank you!  I should give her own words back to her...

There is SOMETHING going on with you. You've been pushing me to have breakfast since this (pandemic) started. You KNOW I like sleeping in on Sundays so you need to stop pushing me to go. You trying to control me is a bunch of crap!! Know this sh!t off!
 

Too much?

DH and I were talking last night and he also feel it strange that both my sister and the Offsets are so... pushy about having a relationship with me. I say again: breakfast cult. *crazy*

Winterglow's picture

Could be worse. Maybe the Offsets are so keen on getting to know you because they're hoping for a threesome? (grinning and ducking.)

DarkStar's picture

Not quite a John Hughes movie, but entertaining nonetheless!
Aniki, you keep being Orange. Apple can fall off her tree

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Darkstar, maybe I should write a screenplay... lol

Thanks! I prefer the citrus. Wink