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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

TGIF! This will be a short one...

Eff off to:

  • Cancer. <insert swear of your choice>
  • King Pita and his endless, repetitive emails. Dude, we got that info already. Stop responding with your incoherent novella (aka WRONG shizzit) that starts a cascade of unnecessary emails because you're a freaking git. If only I could create a rule to send all of your emails to the Trash...
  • Migraines. The Era of the Aura is upon me.

Hope you have a stress free and enjoyable weekend!


justmakingthebest's picture

I second EFFoff Cancer. 

I have been a mess this week. I swear I can't get my head wrapped around everything. 

ESMOD's picture

Hope that migraine crawls back into that hole!  My YSD gets them.. she also has epilepsy.. so we are always worried that one could beget the other!  and it's no fun to have a headache.. plus all the assorted symptoms.  I remember being like 8 yo.. wondering what a "headache" felt like.. I mean, I had been sick.. but never felt badly otherwise.. ahhh innocence of youth.

So.. here are mine!

Eff off to Covid 19.  I KNOW we are all sick of it.. and being restricted.. but use some common sense people.  The local factory is now inundated with cases and there are others in the area because a few people came home for the 4th of July holiday from Lousiana (where there are lots of cases within the company framework already).  Whelp.. one person.. traveled about.. partying with his friends.. visiting with his girlfriend.. and.. then he fell ill.  Now... there are a bunch of cases in the area because this guy went to a party with 100 people (dumb).. and he is in the hospital gravely ill.  Side note, this is where they wanted my DH to "fill in" this spring because one of the older Captains was nervous about covid.. and the same company where my DH worked in Louisiana last few years.. so his decision to be home and not fill in are now looking like genius ideas.. though the money is tough.  We have talked YSD who just got through with a 2 week self isolation into not working her 2nd  part time job in a restaurant.. people are just being idiots.

Eff off to my MIL and my BIL/SIL who are still spitefully letting their chickens out.  My MIL refuses to talk to us.. despite the fact that I have tried to apologize for demanding she tell them to deal with the problem on her property.

Eff of to the fact that it is so hard to lose weight when you are over 50.. blah.

Aniki's picture

Thank you, ESMOD!

I second your eff off to the C word. The Ugliness and Stupidity going hand in hand with it make me want to CUSs. C'mon... someone come up with another S word!

futurobrillante99's picture

Cancer is a C U Next Tuesday!!

Eff off to people setting very low expectations so they can use it as an excuse whenever it works for them, "You know me, I do everything slow." Yes, you do, but only when it suits you. M'kay

Eff off to heat and humidity. This weekend I have an Airbnb booked on Maryland's Eastern Shore (the part on the east side of the Chesapeake Bay). Why? Well, there WAS a cycling event that was canceled due to the virus. BF and I are still going to ride the same distance on our own through a beautiful wildlife refuge. The morning news had the entire eastern shore showing as RED with extreme heat advisories. The temps will be in the high 90s with it feeling like 105. Greeaaaaattt! That means instead of doing the full metric century ride (63 miles), we'll have to break the ride into two 30+ mile rides over two days and start out in the WEE hours. It's July in Maryland. This is SOP, but eff off to it.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I'm sorry about your shizzy coworker! We have one of those too and no one likes to work with him!

Eff off to:

  • Working extra hours and STILL feeling behind
  • Creepy canada dude, no I do NOT want to facetime you and meet your 3 year old, also no I do NOT think he's the cutest thing ever or that his art is the "best thing ever" so you "never need to purchase any from an actual artist" (which I forking am).  You're an enabling Disney Dad, you're not even cute, you're TEN years older than me, you don't know my real name since you popped out of nowhere on an online video game, and imma need you to fork off and crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out of.
  • Preparing to move and having to deal with a friend constantly whining for shit, I'm busy as he!! trying to clean dog out of coworker's house and get packed up and whatever I still need for the house.  I want to help, but no I don't want to spend 5 hours in the car to help you get a desk effectively eating up an entire day worth of work.

Aniki's picture

Sounds like Mr. Canada needs a dose of Blunt Talk. Similar with the friend... "Sorry, but with moving, I simply don't have that kind of time."

Soooooo excited for you!

halo1998's picture

Besides DH deciding to flip his @hole switch and have mantrum.

DD had to make the difficult decision to not go to the UK for college this fall. Between trying to get her VISA and pandemic 2020 it just wasn't going to happen.  The kid has been preparing for this for 6 years.  She will be going to her second choice her in the US.  Still a good school..but not her first choice.

Eff off to small pets getting old. DD's guinea pig...."THE" guinea pig is dying.  This is DD's baby...his brother died a year ago and now he has an abcess and DD doesn't want to put a 5 year old guinea pig through what could be multiple surgeries.  So we will most likely be putting him down next Wednesday.  In the meantime I have to give a guinea a daily injection.   Fun times..y'all.

Eff of to the city for seemingly running every farking cable and electric line through my back yard.  Now the fence I'm putting in for @hole dog number 3 (seriously this dog is a RUNNER...if he gets out he turns back, sticks out his tongue and takes off to run laps in the neighborhood.  He is cute a h#ll...a boxer with a snaggle tooth..but so ornry.).  Now my fence will be $1200 more..ugh.

Aniki's picture

Ask your DH if he needs a freaking Midol. Hand him a tampon.

Sorry about the furbaby. :(  {{ hugs}}

Iamwoman's picture

Ok this may or may not surprise some (as I've been pretty clear my DH is pretty awesome):

But... we have been working from home together since this lockdown started... so almost 4 months now?

And, I am tiring of his workday persona. He gets too emotional and loud on the phone with coworkers, and he also just randomly blurts things out to me, spills his coffee/tea/insert beverage on his desk frequently (and just freezing like a deer in headlights, so I feel compelled to stop my own work to jump up and grab a towel for him and teach him how to use my hairdryer to quickly dry out his laptop [never done it myself, but his laptop would have been trash without me there]) or otherwise sometimes hovers, passively seeking attention (although he denies this).

He has been applying to new jobs, but with the entire world up in the air, nobody is holding interviews. Oh please get a new job soon DH.

In the meantime, I hate to say this, but:

1. Eff off to my DH's all-too-frequent, irritatiting interruptions to MY work and concentration.

Aniki's picture

WTH. Is he like that IN the office?? Is there any way you can move your workspace to the opposite end of the earth, er, house? Cuz, yeah, I think he's seeking attention. 

Iamwoman's picture

Lol @ WTH.

omg I am so glad you said that. 
I was wondering if my irritation is unreasonable...

I've moved to the porch (and on those days he suddenly needs to water the flowers, check the pool chemistry, etc), the living room (which is a bit better, but my DH has always had this "annoyingly nice" habit of asking me "do you need anything?" when he walks through a room).

I've also tried putting in sound blocking earbuds and listening to music all day, and THAT is when he suddenly started spilling drinks on his desk every day...

WTH indeed... Unknw

idk if he is like this in the office, but it would explain why his coworkers slowly become hostile towards him over time with every job. Ugh.

Aniki's picture

Oh, he is definitely seeking attention! If you floated in the pool, he'd likely have to jump in and scoop out debris. LOL

Gimlet's picture

Your spouse can be awesome but also annoying sometimes.  Everyone is like that.

That would bug me too.  My DH is an uber morning person and one day I might just go ahead and murder him. He is back at work and didn't bug me when he was here, but mornings can be a real test of our marriage at times.

He also has what I refer to as an object permanence deficiency, where he is unable to move an object to locate another object that might be behind it, leaving him to ask me where things are when I know damn good and well they are right there.

Lately I've just been telling him "You are an IT leader for a Fortune 100 company.  Pretty sure you can figure this out on your own, dude." 

Iamwoman's picture

Lmao!!! Oh I needed that!

Yes, I've told my DH "You are a chemical engineer. You can surely figure out how to schedule your own haircut (or whatever)."


DPW's picture

Grrrr... where's this? Where's that? I lost this. I lost that.

same in my household. Drives me bonkers. SO simply does not pay attention to detail.

Gimlet's picture

Does he have ADD also?

I have learned to not buy nice hats for my DH.  He WILL lose them.  He's getting better with things like keys because of all the times I've told him "If you put it away as soon as yor're finished with it, you always know where it is", which may end up getting me murdered someday.

On the other hand, he puts up with fact that I need a ridiculous amount of information to make a decision as small as buying a new coffee brewing appliance. 

DPW's picture

No ADD. Just doesn't pay attention to anything that's not of interest to him and also looses shit all the time. I told him - don't touch my stuff, I'll take care of my own stuff as he'll lose it or ruin it out of carelessness. 

JRI's picture

Thankfully, we are retired so don't have the working together issues.  But my DH is a level 5 morning person, too, but I'm not.  When I get up, it takes an hour or so for me to get functioning.  The second I get up, he starts talking to me and asking questions.  I can tell hes just been waiting for me so he can start in.  Attention seeking.  Grrr.  I wonder how many times I've said, "I just got up!" in response to it all.

Gimlet's picture

Oh for sure, he's all excited to have me there so he can talk to me and I say the same thing!  I need some time to get going.

If it's nice I just go out to the porch and listen to the birds.  Smile

JRI's picture

I hope you all realize that this pandemic where you are both home all the time is a preview of retirement.  Just

Iamwoman's picture

Oh good God.

I will be sure to get out and volunteer a lot when I retire.

Today, my DH passively got my attention by literally falling out of his chair.

Is this man for real?

Where is my real husband. This is ridiculous.

Merry's picture

My DH mostly leaves me along when I'm working at home (2-3 days a week as we ramp back up). But he's got some weird internal radar thing going that as soon as I am on a phone call or video call, he'll come in to see if I "need anything."  Or "have you seen my phone? " Or "it's going to rain."

He's sweet, but maddening.

I'm not sure it's worth an Eff Off all by itself, but I'll add it to yours.

Gimlet's picture

Eff off to perimenopause meaning that my uterus feels like it's fighting its way out of my body.   Leave, m*therfucker, I don't need you anymore anyway.

Eff off to the fact that we aren't ready to sell our house and move out into the woods yet.  DH really wants it and I told him in no uncertain terms that YSS will NOT be coming along, so you better get stepping on that timeline.  He's signed up for fall classes at the community college so we shall see.

Aniki, it sounds like KP has diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain.

Aniki's picture

DH and I have been looking at fifth wheels. He was gushing over a 2-bedroom one, saying skids could stay with us. I looked at him, snorted, and said, "That second bedroom is MINE because you're a whirling dervish when you sleep. The skids can sleep in a tent." Guess whose also looking at tents? *diablo*

advice.only2's picture

Big Huge EFF off to Cancer! 

Eff off to teenage daughters and the crap they throw at you and expect you to be delighted and encouraging of their completely asinine choice!

Eff off the adult sons who are pissing their newbie career away simply because they want to make money money money NOW so they can move cross country to be with their online booty call.

Eff off to COVID!  I know I know we all keep talking about it, but damnit it's ruined this whole year!

Aniki's picture

Advice, that second C word bloody well HAS ruined the year. A group of former coworkers wants to get together for happy hour. In August. I said "yes", but am thinking "hell noooooooooo; maybe NEXT August". *unknw*

classyNJ's picture

EFF off to unending work days.

EFF off to my sister and mother who decide to call me at work during a screaming match they were having in the car and wanted me to "fix" it.  

Dash 1



classyNJ's picture

Nope!  Clearly yelled, why the EFF are you calling me at work and why are you putting me in the middle??? You are both adults that need to talk it out and go to therapy.  I AM HANGING UP NOW!  Click

Cover1W's picture

Eff off to being a SM!

DH is all verklempt over the fact YSD still hasn't chosen a high school. He tried talking with her at dinner about it and she just clams up. Refuses to talk and just says, "Whaaaaa...?" like an idiot to questions. Then he asks ME for advice.  LOL - yeah, right, because that's going to go well.

I say, for starters, talk with her ALONE, my being here is not going to help.  He gets that "look" like 'omg I don't ever want to do that.'  That's all I say.

Then later on in the evening he talks with YSDs friends' mother for advice.  Yes, yes he did - because she's obviously a mom and note that I suspect she talks with BM and I've warned him about that. I think she told him to call BM, because that's what he does next. So then he, BM and YSD have a phone conference for at least 40 minutes about high school.

DH then comes into the living room and says, "Yeah, nothing's solved."  Me:  "Uh-huh, you know that YSD is going to make you and BM make the decision because she doesn't want to."

And the best thing is whatever school she chooses, because C-19, won't matter beause it'll likely be at the least 80% virtual. I know it's a hard decision becuase whatever she chooses will likely reduce her time at the other house due to school start times and an impossible commute connection.

So maybe the parents do have to decide - but that's going to be a nasty battle.

So EFF SM-hood and watching this and having my DH consumed for two days so far with this and unavailable to me.