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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

TGIF! I'm not feeling well, so this will be short and sweet...

Eff off to: 

  • Whatever I ate or bug I picked up that has my innards roiling. Feels like there's a game of quidditch going on during thundersnow. Blech. 
  • Those who believe the rules apply to everyone...but them. Then they get their knickers in a twist because they get called out on breaking the rule. Eff off, effer. I'm GLAD you got nailed. 


Sorry so short. Wishing you a long, enjoyable, stress-free weekend!


thinkthrice's picture

there's a stomach bug going around.  Chef is down for the count with it today.  I think you also get a headache as well according to my cubicle mate.  "Jason" was out for two days.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Eff off to husbands who don't recognize emotional labor and then add to your already shite mood that he put you in by adding "just give me the info and I'll take care of it."

No a**hole! I've had a plan concocted for three weeks about how something is going to happen, and I'm not about to hand it over to you to not f**king do. You know things need to be done, so just f**king do it and tell me it's done!

Also, eff off to periods being several days late and not being pregnant. Yeah, my husband is a jackarse, and I currently wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. But dammit, being in limbo no matter the outcome f**king sucks.

AND eff off to lazy people at work who want to use the sh*t you did to make their lives easier. B*tch, write it your own damn self!

*takes a deep, cleansing breath and breathes out nice, cleansing fire*

Gimlet's picture

We are in the same mood today for different reasons.

I'm sorry that your DH is being a DuH and that you're in limbo.  Boo to that.  

lieutenant_dad's picture

DH has been a DuH for a few weeks now, and I'm tired of it. He wants me to be less emotionally drained. Well jacka**, you caused it, so you get to deal with it.

I swear, it's like he turns back into a 20 year old who forgets how to adult. 

Aniki's picture

Breathe, lady dragon. Breathe! Inhale long and deep through your nostrils and BREATHE OUT THAT FIRE!!!

BTW, I'm in a mood. Be happy to take that 10 foot pole and poke him square in the dookychute...

soy_girl's picture

EFF off to having to take mom to a specialist 80 miles away for what is usually a 10 minute visit. Not looking forward to the traffic. (Mostly eff off to the tumor that means she needs a  neuro oncologist)

eff off to coworkers who blow up when you ask a simple question and act like you called them a liar. No crazy lady I asked if something was in a report and I’m tired of you losing your sh**.  Maybe if you were better at your job you would be calmer. 

Eff off to friends who are your bestie only when no one better is available.  Glad I could help you through the end of your marriage, horrible divorce and the unexpected loss of your brother. And move you - twice.  Maybe I’d like some support dealing with the loss of my dad and mom’s tumor. But yep, your new boyfriend is waaay more important. 

Aniki's picture

Soy, if it gets left off the report is it her arse? If so, LET IT HAPPEN.

I SO loathe those people who drop you the millisecond they're getting laid. 

soy_girl's picture

I’m supposed to be supervising her work, so it’s a not just about her. but it looks like they may eliminate her position and transfer her to another area (downsizing). Is it bad I’d rather do more work than deal with her drama?

I hope you feel better soon. Nothing ruins a weekend more than being sick, supposed to do that Monday to Friday!

Aniki's picture

Ah, well, it reflects on you. And since you're supervising, she needs to take that attitude and stick it up her backside. 

Thank you, sweetie. 

thinkthrice's picture

the hundreds of thousands of teensy tiny things that women do around the house to keep everything running smoothly and pleasantly.   Men tend to just see the big things and fast accomplishments.  Chef once had the NERVE to ask me "what have you been doing all day?" 

Women also tend to be perfectionists and see every grain of dirt on the floor whilst men will call themselves cleaning what my grandmother used to call "a lick and a promise" aka a shoddy job

Aniki's picture


Why is it easier to make my coffee in the morning. ANIKI

Why is it easier to get ready for work? ANIKI

Why is it easier to find what I need when I run out of deodorant/shampoo/toothbrushes/Ibuprofen/mustard/everyeffingthing? ANIKI

Aniki's picture

YES!!! Like... Wiping that tinkle off the rim of the toilet is NOT cleaning the damn toilet. My psycho exh did that. Thankfully, my DH KNOWS better!

Gimlet's picture

But I love this Reddit comment and shared it with my husband.  I did not write it.

Start asking the where, how, and who of everything in your house. Make mental workflows for every meal, event or chore.

Ex 1: The food on your plate is a no brainer, somebody cooked that. But where did they get the groceries? Who selected the meal and made sure the necessary items where on the grocery list? Where did the recipe come from?

Ex 2: Taking a trip? Great! What do you need to pack? When will you pack it? What chores will be missed while you’re away and how can they be rescheduled? Who needs to be notified that you’re away? Who’s getting your mail, checking your plants, putting your trash on the curb?

Ex 3: Is your house clean? Cleaning isn’t something you do after dirt accumulates, it’s something you do to prevent accumulation. If you see the dirt, you’ve waited too long. How frequently does every curtain, wall, door handle, light switch, tabletop, countertop, baseboard and floor in your home need to be cleaned? How are they cleaned? What materials or cleaners are needed and how do they appear in your house?

Ex 4: What are the needs of every pet or child in your house? When are their appointments? What is their sleep schedule? How much attention and activity do they need? In the case of a child, what is their school or daycare schedule? What extra supplies do they need this week? Who is buying them? What projects are due? Who is helping with them?

Ex 5: How is your laundry handled? What gets washed on what cycle? What gets hung and what gets folded? Which items go in which drawers? How often are linens changed? What kind of soap do you use? Which items get fabric softener? Dryer sheets? How do you get out routine stains?

There are hundreds of tiny things that make a household run, and you need to understand all of them. You need to be able to look at each component and see what it depends on and what depends on it. Having a birds eye view of the whole process will enable you to be a true partner.

It’s nice if you cook dinner, but “handling dinner” means 1) selecting a meal / planning the menu, 2) seeing which of the required ingredients you already have, 3) buying the ingredients you don’t have, 4) planning the time it takes to cook the various dishes so they are all ready at the same time, 5) cooking, 6) getting the food to the table (which you have hopefully cleaned off and set already), 7) helping children with their meals as needed, 8 clearing the table, 9) packing up leftovers, and 10) washing and putting away dishes. Any of those tasks that you don’t know how to do will still need to be done.

If you announce that you’re handling dinner, then start fumbling around on the appointed night asking what she wants you to make... that’s not helping. You may be handling step 5, but the other 9 invisible steps are still on her. Alternatively, if you send her a text that says “If you can pick up a pound of chicken and a box of rotini on your way home tomorrow, I’ll take care of dinner and you can do the clean up” - congratulations. You’ve done 1,2,4,5,6, and maybe even 7. You, sir, are a man with a plan and an equal partner.

TLDR; learn everything that has to be done. Everything. Then plan accordingly.

Aniki's picture


Will you run away with me to happy hour as soon as my stomach settles down?

Gimlet's picture

It sums it up well,  doesn't it?  And a guy wrote it!  It helped me explain to DH why his "helping" wasn't really helping me and why I get so grouchy about things sometimes.

And I will run away to happy hour with you anytime! 

Aniki's picture


Ex 1: It's ME!

Ex 2: I do everything except pack DH's stuff (he takes twice what I do because...hunting/fishing)

Ex 3: I do 95%. To be fair, DH does 95% of the yardwork and maintenance. He has a physical job and I have a desk job. So. We consider it an equal balance.

Ex 4: I did the furbabies. DH handled all things Skid (after I disengaged).

Ex 5: I do everything except put away DH's clothes. I refuse to allow him to wash so much as a washcloth. Can't help it. It's an OCD thing.


WOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!! You get your Corpse Reviver #2. I want a Makers Mark Manhattan. To start...

thinkthrice's picture

but leaves a mess.  His standards of clean aren't mine that's for sure.  He'll also go around pointing out any pet messes!  Would NEVER feed, water or do any pet administration.

He grocery shops but never bargain hunts.  He'll buy the most expensive thing if he wants it (aka big kid)  If he can't find something in his messy jumble of tools and supplies he'll just buy another one.   I think we have 3 drywall hawks and 5 wet dry vacs!!!!  Not to mention dozens of other "repeats"

I do all the other housework, laundry, pet care, office work, taxes, appointments, household and biz accounting, bookkeeping/recordkeeping, household IT (which is funny because he started out in IT when he was injured in construction but went back to construction; can't stand to be in an office), lawn and garden care, any sort of seasonal decor inside and out including christmas lights, etc. 

I maintain the two woodstoves, clean out the ashes, stack wood, make kindling on the wood splitter.

I have "helpers"  3 robotic vacuums and an automatic pet feeder. 

Merry's picture

I love this, and it will help me next time DH complains that I'm exhausted all the time. Yes. Yes, I am.

I work. He's retired. I pay the bills. I take care of the animals because he'll forget medication schedule. He does most of the laundry (except for my work clothes, so I still have to think about and plan that. He writes the check for the house cleaner and the yard service. I can't think of one damn thing that he's 100% responsible for other than his own hobbies. And even THOSE I have to ask him to move his shi!t out of the garage so I can park there or clean up the mess in the kitchen or why the hell is the drill and hammer in the tv room?

So eff off to that.

I'll join you for that manhattan, Aniki.

thinkthrice's picture

Is it wrong to feel that spouse is most agreeable when he is sick?  He goes off the booze and is docile.  Absolutely LOVE that.  Turns into a normal human being and the macho is turned down to a reasonable level.   Right now Chef is sporting a grizzly adams winter beard which is totally yucko in my book.  I like a nicely trimmed goatee and mustache.  Makes him look like he's 70 years old and he has naturally curly hair (before he was bald) so he has this wild frizzy blond/grey beard that catches food spills.  EWWW!!!!

Gimlet's picture

Aawww TT, that sucks that he's at his best when he's sick.  

I can't take a problem drinker after growing up the way I did. 

Aniki's picture

I do like a good Moscow Mule every now and again!

TT, I want to smack Chef upside the head with my prized iron Dutch oven...

somethingwicked's picture

Feel better soon..I hope you beat that  golden snitch causing your innards to roll.