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OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

Friday at last! There's not enough coffee for this morning and I doubt there is enough wine or whiskey to compensate for the day I'm already having.

Eff off to:

  • People who think they can still drive 55pmh (or more) with snow on the road. Oh, is this you in the ditch 3 miles down the road? What a surprise.
  • my boss who roped me into planning this farking baby shower because I'm "creative". Yes, I am, but I don't know a bloody thing about planning a baby shower. A bachelor party, hellz YEAH!!! Baby shower? Kill me now.
  • Women who think that ALL women:
    • know HOW to plan a baby shower (I'd rather plan an intervention)
    • want to plan baby showers (I'd rather have a tooth pulled)
    • want to play baby shower games (I'd rather have my left nipple smashed flat with a ball peen hammer)
  • People who get p!ssy because you have NO ideas for games to play AT A FARKING BABY SHOWER.
  • coworkers who leave you a voicemail that it's URGENT they speak with you ASAP... and still have not returned the calls you made trying to get back with them.

I hope everyone has an enjoyable weekend!


WalkOnBy's picture

Eff off to bitter divorced women like my mother, who are being pissy about getting over themselves when it comes to a couple of hours on Thanksgiving.

Thing1 will be home for like a second, and my daughter, son-in-law and grandbaby are only available for a short window around Thanksgiving, so I am having dinner at my house.  I invited my dad and SM and instead of acting like an adult, my mom has told me that I "have stolen" her holiday and "ruined" her family.

Yeah, okay, whatever woman.  Pretty sure she can suck it up for a couple of hours.  


WalkOnBy's picture

Hey now, don't insult 10 year olds like that!!  Smile

She is more like a toddler...

I think I am gonna need a bigger bottle Smile

WalkOnBy's picture

It was very hard :-)  Fortunately, I was driving so I would have had the old "bad connection" excuse if she had heard me.  I managed to keep it in check in the car, but when I got home and told DH, I was laughing so hard that I was convinced I was going to pee my pants.

He listened and then walked over to the bar and brought me a tall, strong vodka and soda Smile

DPW's picture

Eff off to...

- The anticipation of the great snowstorm of 2018. So not in the mood to be digging out. It's too early in the season.

- A three day weekend, instead of two day weekend, at work because of the holiday. At least Monday is time and a half.

- Routine. I'm tired of always doing the same thing - work, work, work. I need to have some fun soon. 

Aniki's picture

Did you run out and buy eggs, milk, and bread? Wink

DPW, if I could, I'd head your way and we'd paint the town red! Or purple. Or kingfisher blue... Any color to get you out of your routine rut and have some fun!

DPW's picture

No, but we ordered extra pizza last night.... lol!

Painting the town red with you would be a blast!

futurobrillante99's picture

What snow storm? I want a snow storm!! LOLOL

EFF OFF to having to go to a divorce hearing to essentially verify my name, address, DOB and that I did in fact fill out and sign ALL the divorce papers and everything is already agreed to in advance. I don't understand the point of me being there. As if the numerous documents I signed, some with a notary, were forged? WTF? In how many ways can it be made known to you that YES, we're both agreeing to the divorce. Nope. Gotta say it in person. FFS.



futurobrillante99's picture

Yeah, but HE filed. I'm the defendant. Normally only the person filing has to be there in our state. But for an uncontested mutual consent divorce in 90 days, with BOTH have to be there. FFS 10/1/18 the law changed and only one person has to show up, but that only applies if filed after 10/1/18.

Aniki's picture

Come to upper Michigan! LOL

OMG, what a crock!! That's something your lawyer verifies BEFORE you go to court. JHC. I'm sorry, FB. {{hugs}}

Step-girlfriend's picture

Eff off to SNOW!!! Ugh, why do I live in this godforsaken state??

Eff off to pets dying. Seriously. My boss had a horse they had to put under yesterday because it broke its leg. 2 different friends had dogs die of cancer in the past 2 weeks. My friends cat died last week. And another very good friend's dog got diagnosed with a Fibroid disease and she may need to put him down. He is a great dog. Just bums me out.

I actually can't complain too much, this has been a pretty good week with minimal annoyances.

Aniki's picture

Woman, you need to move somewhere with minimal snow! My oldest brother loathes snow and moved to Florida last year. LOL

It definitely sucks when furbabies die. It's been 1.5 years since I lost my darling Mr. P and I miss him like crazy.

Step-girlfriend's picture

What's funny is that I have lived in 2 states with no snow TWICE, and I always end up moving back! My SO says he wants to move to a warm state too once skids are out of the house, so hopefully that happens. Florida has been mentioned. Skids told us that Crazy always tells them how she can't wait for them to be 18 so she can move somewhre warm too, like Florida. Ha! Watch us all end up in the same f'ng state. Except the woman doesn't even go away for wknds, much less travel...she certainly is never going to move to another state. The only place she's going is maybe a trailer park down the road.

Aniki's picture

Or even in the same retirement community....LOL

There are times I'd be willing to bet that some of these whackadoodle BMs would move simply to try and continue to make their exDH's lives miserable...

classyNJ's picture

EFF off to having to spend the weekend cleaning out SS16's two bedrooms and throwing all into garbage bags.  I will be wearing two pairs of rubber gloves!


Aniki's picture

Don't forget to wear a breathing mask and a biohazard suit and to shower off all the toxic waste when you're done!

Siemprematahari's picture

Hola Aniki and fellow posters!

Hope I'm not late for the party but I'd like to paint the town purple too ;). I have a bottle of Cuervo to keep us warm Drinks

-Eff off to my college professor who gives the most difficult exams and words them into trick questions.

-Eff off to the girl sitting in front of me with the bad weave that looked like a birds nest.

Wishing everyone a fabulous weekend!

Aniki's picture

Hola, Siempre!

Morado es mi color favorito! Que tipo de Cuervo?

--figureditout--'s picture

Eff off to suicide. We (DH and I) lost a friend to it last week.  He was a good kid, only 2 years younger than me but he would jokingly call me Mom because I would go save him and always fed him. He left a wife, an adopted SS, and 2 grown sons.

Eff off to people who don't know the difference between Veterans Day and Memorial Day.

Eff off to the great estranged SD ambush on OBS' birthday.


Eff off to my indecisive mind...I have 3 tattoo ideas but don't know which one I want first.

Cover1W's picture

EFF off to boss holding someone accountable for not doing something that's not even a documented standard. And afterwards going round and round with me saying that we should be doing it even if it's not the process. WTF? It's crazy making and I left work disgusted.  However I did get it added as a discussion talking point for our group meeting. More than half of us don't do it! Add it to process or don't hold us accountable.

Aniki's picture

How frustrating, Cover! You wanna come and paint the town red and purple and green and yellow and blue with the rest of us? Throw in some silver lear or gold flake?

24 years as a SM's picture

Still waiting to hear from 5 of our friends that lived in the little town of Paradise. No one has heard from them since the fire started yesterday morning,  Six other families from Paradise are here at our house and know they have lost their homes. California foresty management sucks, they let the forest get overgrown and no logging to thin out the trees and this is what we end up with, raging fires and almost a whole town wiped off the map.

Iamwoman's picture

Hey Aniki, for the baby shower: is it possible to dole out some of the responsibilities to others? Games to one person, decor to another, etc? Does you office have an intern that you can shove the shower planning to?

I do get it that it’s the principle the thing... I find it aggravating that people think I want to hold their baby just because I’m a woman. Ugh.

Eff off to anxiety

Aniki's picture

Iamwoman, I WISH!!

For once, I'm actually NOT the spearhead of this. Unfortunately, the bossy beeyotch who is believes that the few women on this team should be well-versed in crap like baby showers, wedding showers, etc. What she fails to get through her thick skull is that 75% of the team is male and these guys have NO interest in playing stupid baby shower games like Taste/Identify the Baby Food or Diaper Surprise (effing GROSS).

Bossy Beeyotch actually believes that "We Women" will have to "guide" the menfolk in playing these games. How about NO? Damned if I'm going to try and force my male coworkers to do stupid crap that is neither fun nor interesting to them (or me!!).

Bossy currently has her knickers in a twist because a) one fool keeps coming up with shower games that most WOMEN would find off-putting and b) I cannot think of any dumb games. If she wants ideas, she can bloody well make use of Google.

Merry's picture

I didn't have an eff-off rant until now.

Eff off to micromanaging, controlling, belittling bosses. I'm talking about my BD's boss.  She has a serious passive agressive thing going.

BD is looking for another job. Can't come soon enough. Anybody in Texas hill country need a smart, dependable employee?