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OT - Bingo

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 4:44pm

Five days from now will be the start of Hell Week for me. It's SS18's graduation and.... we get to spend 4.5 days with BioHo! 'Ho's husband, Mr. Pinhead, will be there, along with Spawn10 (lil hoochie mama) and PigPen15 (bearded boy bun). A friend of mine suggested that, as a way to quietly entertain myself, I make a BINGO card with squares that pertain to things like:

  • Requests for money
  • Inappropriate attire (this would be for 'Ho and Spawn)
  • Exposed cleavage you could hide a Happy Meal in ('Ho luuurrrrrvvvsss wearing skimpy tops that show her inch-wide bra straps)
  • How many knife stabs to the eye would be more fun
  • Things you do NOT say in front of children/strangers
  • Inappropriate personal questions
  • Oh, no, you di'int!!!
  • Detectable body odor

Help me fill out those squares!!

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 8:58am

Eeeeeewwwww!!! It honestly would not surprise me in the least. She better not try to crawl into MY lap. Blech. DH never let the SDs sit on his lap after 6-7yo.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 6:06pm

Bahahahaha 

The first time we took SD(then 23) on vacation to an AI my best friend and I made a pact. If I got drunk and started to say things about BM, my bff was to grab me and say “That’s not appropriate” Luckily she never had to do it.

It did start a tradition for us though. If either of us gets drunk and starts doing something stupid we will stop each other “That’s not appropriate” has become our safe word, hahaha. 

Note: we aren’t Total drunks but we do vacation together at AIs a lot and the alcohol sometimes flows a little too freely.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 8:59am

Admittedly, if I DO drink, it won't be more than 1-2 glasses of wine. Otherwise, I might tell 'Ho what I think about her!!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 6:15pm

Oh, oh, oh! Can I add some?!

- Talking about your BF in front of your kids while you're still married.

- Showing off inappropriate piercings to your XH in public

- Using a Southern twang when speaking despite having ALWAYS lived in a city and going to a city school

- Talking about how you almost throat-punched the principal of the kids' school

- Ask a question on behalf of the kids - "the kids wanted to know if...", which is usually followed by a request for more money/time/things

- Gripe about GBM from BM

- Flirt with XH

Wait, this might only apply to me...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 9:02am

LMAO!!

Inappropriate piercings could fall into the same column as Showing Dirty Bra Straps ('Ho lurvs spaghetti-strap tops, but her over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder straps are 5x as wide).

FYI, Lt. Dad, my Mom was a southern belle. She was the only one of her siblings to leave the area. I speak Southern. Dirol

Dovina's picture

Submitted by Dovina on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 6:29pm

Boundary crosser

Dysfunctional Families

Facial Hair (that might just pertain to my BM)

Drunken Texts

Where's my daddy

Where's your balls

Toxic Events 

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 9:04am

Dovina!! 'Ho IS the dsyfunction!!!

Facial hair, unfortunately, can pertain to me.

Where's my daddy... no one knows who fathered PP and Spawn's drank himself to death 6 years ago.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 9:06am

That would only be SS18 and PP (who DH raised). DH is SS18's favorite person. They are two peas in a pod, which p!sses off 'Ho to no end. She's jelly!!

NarcissisticSkids's picture

Submitted by NarcissisticSkids on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 8:23pm

OMG...love the comments...maybe you should have faint circus music playing in the background at times,,,sounds like a freak show....you can always stroll around with wine in a coffee cup, then nobody would know you were drinking (I do that at family events)

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 9:08am

NS, at Christmas, I drank tequila out of a wine glass. It looked just like chardonnay!!!

NarcissisticSkids's picture

Submitted by NarcissisticSkids on Thu, 04/19/2018 - 8:31pm

OH-you could play that mental game where you picture everyone naked.........or not

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 9:10am

Cue the violent, projectile vomit emoji!!! 'Ho is built like a stack of tires. She lurvs to wear skintight clothing that grips every fat roll and digs into every crease. She may as well be naked!!

queensway's picture

Submitted by queensway on Fri, 04/20/2018 - 11:20am

Oh Aniki you poor woman, say it ain't so. 4 days to many.

Not sure this will work on your bingo card but I would be thinking these thoughts,

Is it over yet.

What in the he!! did my DH ever see in this BIOHO.

I would be saying "just keep my mouth shut just keep my mouth shut".

Please take some good mental notes so you can give us some of your awesome blogs about this.

And I will be sending my positive vibes your way when you are gone. HUGS

You get the best wife ever prize! Your husband is a lucky man.