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Trying to decide if I am still in "Mega B!tch" mode

AngeLily's picture

or if this is really as stupid as I feel it is. So, DH asks me about 4 hours before I have to go to work (graveyard shift) if I am going to put up the Christmas tree. Mind you, I have had this tree for probably 10 years and it is a royal pain in the @ss to assemble and takes forever since the color code is missing and most of the color has come off the thing and it takes me a good couple of hours to do so and then go through all the strands of lights, make sure they work, etc. The reason he asks is because he wants to make sure ss7 feels like a part of decorating the tree. As I look at the clock, I say "uh not today". He says well maybe I will put it up. Yeah....sure.... none of the other kids are there, but the baby. I wouldn't be home to decorate it either. I would have to re decorate it and put things in places that the baby couldn't get, remove the toys he sticks on every year (and I have to hear "where did ___ go?" "why isn't ____ on it anymore?") So, DH wants to make sure ss7 has part in it, but with no one else? WE live there full time, so why does he get to do it and then I have to re do it? I try to make sure we do at least one family Christmas activity with as many of the kids together as possible (we have never had all five in one place) so it isn't like I am saying I don't want him involved in anything. But, really? I have 4 hours before work and you want me to take three of them to set things up so only ss7 can do something?? Uh no. Pretty sure I will be asked again tomorrow before SS7 goes home too because I am quite positive the thing WON'T be set up when I get home in the morning. Am I being too bitchy?


oldone's picture

His first mistake was in asking if YOU were going to put the tree up when you obviously didn't have time to do it.

Why couldn't he have said "I'm going to assemble the tree while you are at work." And SS7 could "help" with that part and maybe put a few ornaments on the tree.

And I don't think it's anal at all to want the breakable ornaments out of the baby's reach. That's a safety issue.

oldone's picture

I agree that she could have said those things IF they had been having a conversation about the tree. But they weren't even talking about the tree and the first thing he says is when are YOU going to do the hard work. She didn't bring it up.

It's only the first couple of days of December - I haven't thought about when the tree is going up yet.

I'd be more pissed that he was expecting HER to do the hard work than who was going to put the ornaments on.

AngeLily's picture

After some thought and a lot of coffee, I realized what about it bothered me most. The re decorating would happen regardless if I was there or not, if they did it and I would actually prefer to not redo it in front of ss7, because despite our problems I don't want to make him feel like he decorated a tree wrong just because he wasn't thinking about a baby's curiosity. I was more annoyed with dh wanting me to put it up "now" so they could do the fun part later and on their own. I said I couldn't yesterday because of the time limitations I had and they could put it up. I asked dh today why they didn't put it up. I got "I didn't have the ambition". Well okay.