About to throw the towel...I cant seem to love my stepkids

I dont know what to do. As much as I try I cant seem to love them. I have two kids and my husband has two. My husband's kids treat my daughter really bad and it hurts me. He doesn't do anything about it. I get so happy when they don't come over or we dont have them. The oldest doesnt like us he has established it before that he wishes my kids were never born. I am going crazy and I feel like this feeling can destroy our marriage. I hate feeling this way since my husband is such a great guy, but once his kids are over everything great disappears.

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Everysingleword of

Everysingleword of ^^^^^^^^^^^^^this.

Thank you, I am wondering

Thank you, I am wondering cause I have only been married for 2 years, does this ever get better?

It does if you both work on

It does if you both work on it. We have been married 2 1/2 years and we have made great strides. Long way to go yet but the chart trends upward. I recommend enforcing your personal boundaries and these boundaries include your own kids. At my house my boundary includes ss13 and sdog as well as myself. It has saved my sanity and my marriage. DH taking my feelings and ideas into consideration has been the other crucial ingredient.

Just remember, if I can include kids/pets who aren't even mine, you can surely stand up for your own kids.

No great guy allows his kids

No great guy allows his kids to treat anyone, especially those he cares about, like that. I'd draw a line in the sand with him and let him know that he has to end their behavior or you will walk. If you dread their visits, imagine how DD feels. You need to protect her and ensure she is in a good environment.

Did I read that correctly?

Did I read that correctly? Your husband said he wishes you never had your children. I'm sorry, but I think that makes him a jerk. I would throw in the towel and walk away. You don't have to love each other's children, but you do have to accept them. If he can't do that, think of the vibes your children must be getting from him.

No my stepson is the one

No my stepson is the one thats says that.

Ok, I just read it wrong.

Thank you all for your

Thank you all for your comments, I have been feeling horrible for feeling like this. Thanks to you all I know I am not alone.

I have only been married two

I have only been married two years, does this ever get better?

I think it is the rare

I think it is the rare exception that a stepmom likes her step kids. Obviously by your dh allowing his kids to treat your kid the way he does he doesn't care for your kid. It is par for the course. I think woman are programmed to think that we are terrible for not loving all kids that come into our lives.

I will tell you that I personally am a mama bear with my kids. There is no way in hell that I would let anyone treat my kids badly. That is the moment I would turn into evil stepmother.

I remember when me and dh had our first ours baby. One skid became jealous. That was something his parents wanted to coddle him over. I understood he was jealous. Then it started with poking my kid. Okay fine he is curious. Then he tripped my toddler on purpose, I saw it with my own eyes, and we had to take her to the er because he tripped her into the table. Okay could have been an accident. Maybe. And then he pounded her on the tummy. My absolute last straw was when he opened up her second story bedroom window after I had emphasized never to do that. My stepfather saw him open it and ran to close it before my toddler went barreling out the window.

At that point skid visitations ceased period in my home. If dad wanted to see his kids he could see them outside of my home. My kids safety comes first. Don't let this behavior escalate.

If your skid is being mean to your dd, you step in and stop it and then dare him to say anything. If skid says something so nasty again let skid know that it is not okay and visitation will end immediately.

If your husband's kids

If your husband's kids behaved during their visits and used respect toward you and your children, they might be 1/2 tolerable. The biggest problem is your husband is a failure at parenting and has no respect for you himself. Doesn't exactly make him a 'great guy' in my book.

If he can't or more from the sounds of it, won't, control his little hateful monsters, I suggest either 1) no more visitations in your home. He can visit them elsewhere or 2) you need to reevaluate this relationship as allowing this situation to continue is unfair to your own children. Your kids shouldn't be being mistreated because your husband is a lousy father and his children are ill behaved snots.