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Well that went well....NOT

anchorlizard's picture

So, after discussing with our family therapist, we put out a "roommate agreement" for all three of us (DH, me, and SS20) to sign. The rules were all pretty reasonable (in fact most of them were taken from a previous roommate contract I had with roommates before I moved in here. As I expected-FIREWORKS ensued. DH thought (and said so when I told the therapist I didn't think this would work) that SS really only wants harmony in the house and would of COURSE be enthusiastic and sign.

Cue the "I toldya so"'s. He FLIPPED out. Went on and on about how passive aggressive it is, and if I have a problem with his messes, or his music being too loud that I needed to just tell him. Notice the "I" part. Even though DH presented the agreement and added that he had written it (based on mutual input) SS of course only see's ME as the bad guy in this situation. He continued to escalate the situation by saying I didn't need to be here, I am not welcome, and of course he has no intention of respecting me. That I "knew what you was getting into when you moved in here with us." **Sidebar-DH and I had already been engaged, with plans for my moving in prior to our marriage, BEFORE SS got kicked out of his house in other state, and then BM's house subsequent to that. So, I wanna slap the little shite and say, no "YOU" knew you were getting into. This is a package deal now between me and DH.

Basically, I feel like DH should have been more firm, and certainly stopped him from saying those things, or correcting him when he did. Now that a day has passed, I feel that BOTH of them owe me an apology for making me feel unwanted in my own home.

So frustrated. So upset, and really still seething over the things I COULD have said but didn't to snotty little SS.

Comments

anchorlizard's picture

Because he spends his money on stupid ass shit. Which is another blog in itself, but I have tried to make that point a number of times to both DH AND SS. If he doesn't like residing in the same house as me, and my "rules" (which basically amount to pick up after yourself and clean your bathroom once a month) then GTFO.

I have now convinced (based on some good advice here) that DH start collecting money for car insurance and his cell phone bill from SS, so at least he has SOME financial commitment.

He is just so lazy and do nothing. I am not exaggerating when I say the kid has no responsibilities or obligations. I still even apply the work "kid" to him even though he's 20!

WickedStepMom18's picture

You don't need an aplogy. Just some garbage bags. Throw that little f**ker out on his rear. You owe him nothing. I would NOT have held back. My SO wouldn't have had time to stick up for me. I would already be throwing down with that little jerk. You are a stronger woman than me!

giveitago's picture

Ohhh...He'd be a gone pecan! I would not brook any interferance from DH iether, I'd be saying that he's an unsuitable flat mate and he has to go,