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To All Step-moms

Amaurea's picture

I was looking at the new website that was noted (step-family letter project) and I found this "letter" that was addressed to all step-moms. I found it very inspirational and uplifting and I thought I'd share so other SMs on this site won't miss it and can read it:

You all should be commended. Whether you’re married, nearly married or domestically partnered you should try to remember this one thing: you’ve done something not all women could muster the courage to do.

You rarely hear a girl say she wants to be a stepmom when she grows up. Most girls grow up to be women with a fantasy that rarely includes a partner who already has children.

I have friends and family members that dated people with kids. They couldn’t bring themselves to commit to someone that had a priority in their lives that wasn’t them. It’s sad, but a lot of women feel this way. Think about that the next time you question whether or not you’ve made the right decision.

Don’t forget about the inner strength that you already have. The strength that has made it possible for you to endure negative comments about your role in the family, about your cooking, your hair, your home, etc. You’ve got mad skills in the dealing with crap department. People should write songs, books and movies about you.

You are an amazing creature.

Don’t forget that there are other women out there like you. There are places you can turn to where venting is not only an option, it’s a requirement.

Don’t forget that life will probably hand you a few more lemons before the kids are grown and it’s just you and your husband. But you’re a stellar lemonade maker so you’ll make it work. You may not have the biological child that you’ve longed for or your stepchildren may have major problems at school, at mom’s house, etc., but you’re strong.

You’ll make it through. We all will.


KeepsGettingBetter's picture

I'm ging through a very bad time in my relationship at the moment that it doesn't look like we are going to get through. So reading this letter helped me see what a strong person I am to even have been in this relationship for 4 and a half years.

It's nice to know that there are people out there who can see what a hard job us stepmums have.

Thank you again.