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Nephew's wedding, hubby wasn't going to come with me

amackeral's picture

Hubby is so pissed at me...but I don't care! I refuse to give in on this matter and reward SS19's bad behavior.

All of my family still lives 4 hours away. N27, my oldest sister's son, is getting married this weekend. Of course after the party SS had the last time we were gone, we don't feel we can trust him to stay home alone again. I suggested (told?) DH he needed to tell SS to find somewhere to stay for the weekend. He's hardly home on the weekends now anyway, since I made him help DH with the yard work. No idea where he's been staying, but this past weekend he was home for all of 20 minutes to grab something he needed and then was gone again. So I didn't see the problem in telling him he couldn't be here when we're not home.

DH said he'd probably just stay home, to make sure SS doesn't burn the house down. I say that's the worst idea I've ever heard. DH didn't want to talk about it after that.

So, last night after getting my DD from her dad, we get home and SS is finally home. I tell him we are going to N27's wedding, and he (SS) needs to find somewhere to stay for the weekend, can't be trusted to be home. He says ok.

I tell DH later that evening what I did and he gets all bent out of shape saying I should have talked to him before I did that, and he didn't think it was fair to "kick him out" for the weekend. I said it was plenty fair and obviously he has somewhere to stay, since he wasn't home at all this weekend. He'll be fine, and he's a big boy. And if DH stayed home, he'd only be rewarding bad behavior. He doesn't understand how it would be rewarding anything.

I told him, if he (DH) stayed home and didn't go to the wedding with me, SS would have DH all to himself all weekend and I'd be stuck dealing with my family alone all weekend and not get to see DH. That would be a reward to SS, and thus begins him getting exactly what he wants, splitting us up.

We went to bed and he acted like nothing was wrong, didn't talk to me about it at all. Somehow the subject came up of being happy, I told him I was happy but I see divorce in our future someday. Told DH that he'll get tired of me taking matters in to my own hands, since he has no follow through with SS, and he'll want a divorce before I "push his kids away".

Perfect example of no follow through...SS texted DH asking where we were, when we were on our way to get DD. I told DH that if SS was home, he needed to pick up the backyard (dog poop) so that DH could mow the law when we got home. DH never texted SS, and when we got home, there were storm clouds rolling in, so DH didn't mow the lawn because "by the time he got the dog poop picked up, it would be raining and he wouldn't be able to mow". SMH! If I was a good little doormat, I mean wifey, I'd go pick it up...but I'm not!