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Warning to landlords: The Skunk Ape is on the move

AlmostGone83's picture

I am posting a warning to all of the landlords out there, particularly those who are located in Florida. The skunk ape (BM) Is about ready to be evicted from her latest house. If you or someone you know Has a rental property, make sure you check references. The skunk ape has a nice little scam going where by she will pay the first month and the deposit upfront only to soon after stop paying altogether and ride it out until she gets evicted. By that time (several months later) she will have saved up enough money from not paying to pay the first months rent on some other house and the cycle will repeat. She is in the process of getting evicted from one of her houses as we speak so the skunk ape will soon be on the prowl for another victim.  It is hard to warn people as her address changes every eight months or so, but for those of you in Florida beware. If a potential tenant comes in and she is reeking if cheap perfume, has a bad hair dye job (usually pink or blue) and rose gold colored everything, potentially wearing leaopard print, and comes with a small scared child and a look of desperation in her eyes, TURN  HER AWAY!!!You have just spotted the skunk ape.


--figureditout--'s picture

Oh, chit.  I am in Florida...and I saw a legless, leopard wearing woman at Publix the other night *shok*

AlmostGone83's picture

That would be the skunk ape’s mother. She looks nearly identical to the skunk ape, only older and without legs (a casualty of an out-of-control, 5-pack-a-day smoking habit and a steady diet of sweets and fats). The skunk ape’s mother also goes by the nickname Trashy Tammy. If you are ever approached by her, any of the following may be thrown in her direction to ward her off: Cheetos, cheap beer or cigarettes, Twinkies or anything else deep fried. A nickel will also work.

thinkthrice's picture

The extreme animal rights groups outlawed the circus and with it the freak and side shows.  I'm against animal abuse obviously, but I wouldn't mind spending some coin to see these "human"  side shows such as the incredibly high conflict, foaming at the mouth GUBM...wait...we already pay CS.

MurphysLaw's picture

Skunk Ape


Im feckin dying!!! lol 

thinkthrice's picture

bwa ha ha.  You must draw up the Skunk Ape's bi-annual migration map!

thinkthrice's picture

some landlords only check the most recent landlord who will say she's great just to get rid of her.  

Always check court records, two landlords back, moving history ( too frequently) and verify that you are talking to the property owner/mgmt company and not Uncle Skunk Ape who is posing as landlord

AlmostGone83's picture

You know I was curious about that myself so I decided to look it up…

 According to this website there is a lot of work that goes into collecting a wage garnishment. Apparently winning in small claims court does not mean that they will automatically garnish wages. There are a lot more forms to be filled out and a whole other process that the landlord must go through. Not only that they can only collect a certain percentage of the tenants disposable income. The skunk ape works as a part time server (and she’s only been doing that for about a month because she HATES working) so I’m sure they won’t be able to collect much. Getting blood from a stone so to speak. 

Step-girlfriend's picture

Is it just me or does this scam seem like a lot of work? Who likes to move that much? Who doesn't check references on tenants? And who wears rose-gold anymore? 

I have an idea- just pay the rent like a normal person!

Godspeed to all Florida landlords.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Legless lizard and skunk ape? Somebody call Desmond Morris, this is a wildlife documentary in the making.