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Update to Little Idiot’s Rape (Long)

AlmostGone83's picture

So after my post the other day about the recruiter contacting DH, which immediately took a turn into the announcement that she had been raped.... I thought I would post some updates on how this is unfolding 

Little Idiot (SD19) didn’t give too many details, and she was taking forever to answer the barrage of texts sent her way, but we did gather the following information from her (and a few sent between DH and BM)...

-The rape allegedly happened a month ago. Not sure when BM found out about this but it’s been a while apparently. 

- LI is still best friends with the boy’s sister because “she doesn’t talk to her brother that much”. Phone and text records indicate they are as close as ever.

- BM has been aware of this rape and has her in counseling.

-LI doesn’t want to file a police report because “(she) doesn’t want to be called a liar”. BM (who also claimed she was raped as a teen after a man allegedly snuck in through her window one night) agrees with LI. She “understands how she feels” and “this is why I chose this counselor for LI, because she respects that it’s her choice”

- LI also thinks the police “won’t do anything”. DH tried to convince her that this needs to be reported for a variety of reasons: closure for her, a file on record for him Incase he does this to someone else, and we really have no idea if a case can be built but we should still TRY.

-LI has allegedly been seen by a doctor (at some point) and is not pregnant (thank god).

-The rape occurred at the best friend’s house while the best friend “left the house for a while”. The best friend and BM are the only people aware this happened.

- The boy is 17. I remember when LI lived with us that she mentioned him a few times. She acted IMO like a giddy school girl, happily blathering on about how her friend’s younger brother had a crush on her.

-Finding his picture on Twitter, he looks like a wanna-be boy band dweeb that weighs all of 100 pounds soaking wet. 

- LI says she is “fine” and (thankfully) wants to stay down there because she’s (allegedly) going to college and (allegedly) has a job.

-LI planned, for some reason, on waiting to tell us this at Christmas when she came up.

DH’s reaction to all of this is basically the following...

- He is frustrated and confused about how this is being handled. He doesn’t understand why she refuses to go to the police, though he is trying to tell himself that this is normal. That some women don’t want to report it for a variety of reasons.

- He has gone through stages of anger and depression though last night he seemed back to normal.

- During his anger stage he wanted to do various things that would have left him in jail. I refused to entertain any of these ideas. 

-He thinks LI’s reaction to this all is very strange. He says she is acting like everything is fine and no big deal. BMs reaction is the same and equally confusing.

- BM is a bad mother he thinks and the worst thing that ever happened to LI was moving to FL because her mom is so awful and if she was here, we would have her on the right track.

- LI has made some poor decisions and is going down the wrong road.

- He admitted that the Coast Guard fiasco shows that LI was lying all along and said these “pathological lies” have got to stop. He doesn’t think (or at least won’t say) that LI might be lying about the rape. 

- He sent a Facebook message to the friend basically saying this what’s going on and we need your side of the stor. His hope is that she will answer and if she Denys that her brother did this, he can show the messages to LI proving that she’s not a good friend and get LI away from her. He cant understand why LI would want to be friends with her and potentially put herself in harms way if the brother is still going to be around. So far, the friend hasn’t seen the message.

- He is trying to balance what he calls “advice from the medical community” which he says states that women who have been raped have many good reasons for not wanting to report it and what he believes which is that she needs to report this. He feels at a loss because he’s not a woman so he thinks he doesn’t know how she’s feeling right now so he can’t judge her too much for not filing.

Now for my opinions (and that of my mother’s after discussion with her)...

- This is an attention grab.

- It was consensual

- They are all whacked, including DH for believing this 

- LI only told us because she wanted the attention not because she wanted anything done about it and got upset (as confirmed by BM) when DH started making a huge deal out of this.

-Thankfully she is not going to make a huge deal out of this and report it and ruin some kid’s life because it’s all BS

- Any Idiot (except DH) can see this doesn’t add up.

- It’s probably an excuse to continue to fail at life. Now she will have the ultimate reason to delay college and adult life - trauma. Nothing will ever be her fault. She will forever be damaged by this and unable to function.

- BM’s personality traits are growing stronger by the day.

- I cant trust a word she says. She is indeed a pathological liar and she is stupid as well. 

-If I want to leave I have the support of my family.




thinkthrice's picture

It was consensual but now it is her "rite of passage" into the world of victimhood.

Let us know when your screen name converts into "Gone83"  but then again I know the hassles of that as well.  At least she is in Florida but DuH needs to see the light of day otherwise "Gone83" will be your best option.  Hell I think you're young... probably about 36 yrs old so if he doesn't see that LI is a POS just like the BM then it's time to split!

AlmostGone83's picture

One last thing.... she is, for some reason and unknown to DH, been in contact with admissions at a historically black university down there.

GrabitAndGo's picture

I also believe it was consensual if there was, in fact, any sexual contact at all.  With the way LI lies, there's no telling.  

The more you post about your DH (Big Idiot), the less respect I have for him.  At this point I have NONE because of how delusional he is about LI.  I'm amazed you can stand to be around him.  Him sending a FB message to the friend is likely going to backfire.  It could potentially show the friend LI is a lying liar face which would create a whole other world of hate and drama.  The friend may also tell DH some truths about his kid he really doesn't want to know.  Of course, he'd say the friend is  liar rather than take an honest look at LI.

It's only 9:30 am where I am, but damn, reading this post makes want a strong drink.

Chmmy's picture

It’s probably an excuse to continue to fail at life. Now she will have the ultimate reason to delay college and adult life - trauma. Nothing will ever be her fault. She will forever be damaged by this and unable to function.

As I was reading this was my thought all along... LI doesnt want to adult so this is her excuse to put that off. Please find a way to point that out to DH so he doesnt try to press charges against this kid. If anything if there was consensual sex and he is minor, could she be in trouble? Im not sure about the rules for 19 & 17.

I dont always automatically believe a female in a rape accusation. I know some people do and a man can be arrested just for an accusation and no proof and that is so wrong. Bitches be cray.

I hope you & DH can get some peace from this child. I knew in a previous post when you said she had some news of some sort that it was going to be a rape allegation. I know so little about this little idiot yet I knew she would do that. Says something about her, doesnt it? I will pray for the young man and his family who have gotten involved with LI. Just wow.

Daisymazy2's picture

DH and BM both believe that SD lies about EVERYTHING but really believe that she has never lied about the multipled times she was so called "RAPED".  

It does seem odd that she would tell your DH NOW instead of at the time it happened.  BM should have informed him if LI didn't wish to do so.  I really think it is mentioned now only to distract everyone from the Coast Guard lying.  

Did the rape really happen?  Who knows,  it is like my SD.  For me, I have a hard time believing her because she has lied and manipulated since I have known her.  For DH and BM,  everything she says is the truth until it is proven by someone else to be a lie.

advice.only2's picture

Well at least you have your families support. From here on out there will be the resounding cry of "but she was raped..." by DH.

Harry's picture

Nothing good is going to happen to L.I.  She will keep on failing making excuses for it.  I have to admit the story’s are interesting.   LI will go on in life, like now working part time, living with who ever will support her. BM, or your DH.  Or some guy who will put up with her. 

There wikk be no Coast Guard, No college ,  Just make. Shore she does not move in with you.  Because she will never leave.  Because you can support her better then BM. 

shamds's picture

Be on bestie terms with li until she’s confirmed what really happened. So much confusion here with the twisted ever changing stories from li. Once a liar always a liar. Once you start a lie you need another and another to cover it till you sre all over the place and forgot what the original lie was about

oneoffour's picture

Concious coupling

Thought she was pregnant

Not pregnant

Weazeling her way out of it with the most sympathy she can garner.

Dad will work it out. He has already worked out the CG imaginary lifestyle choice (Personally I would dress the entire family up as CG members for Halloween and send her the photo). No father wants to accept his daughter is a lying ratbag and unable to cope in the real world when all the world around him as achievers and success stories. I would be non  committal "Mmm, I hear you... Tut tut... mumble mumble... I am sure it will all work out one way or another ...No, we are not paying for her ticket to fly up here. She isn't working, she isn't in school. It is best she is with her mother at this time."

And do not trust a thing she says. If this is all true just tell your DH about the boy who cried wolf. In the end no one believed him because of his lies. I am sure he doesn't want that for his daughter.... *evil wink*


MurphysLaw's picture

Back in the day, I remember the lame excuse to use for getting out of just about anything was…”I sprained my ankle/ wrist” and they’d strap on an ACE bandage and called it a day.

We really live in a sick society.


Exjuliemccoy's picture

Lil Idiot sounds like a budding Borderline. My YSD was much like L.I., even claiming to have been raped at 13. Much in your posts reminds me of The Years of Krazy when she lived with us.

You need to start planting seeds with your H. We all know that he's a shite parent who contributed to this mess, but I think he also needs to be acquainted with the possibility that his kid has inherited some mental health issues (from her mother, of course. Easier on the ego that way). If you can gradually introduce him to this, he might be less inclined to pull the big red handle and defend LI each time she causes a drama storm.

In general men just want to be comfortable, and when faced with something outside their ken, often will shrug and accept that that's just how it is. If you can slowly introduce him to the idea that LI is like her mother, it might allow him a way to let go with his ego intact.


tog redux's picture

My SS19 lies a lot.  DH and I both always assume what he says is BS.  I can say "what a surprise" when SS doesn't show up to help around our house because he "fell asleep", and DH will agree.

I could not deal with it if DH was as delusional about SS as SS is about himself. 

thinkthrice's picture

delusional for the first 12 years about his ferals.  He now sees the light.