Thoughts on boundaries
I have a confession to make... I should have never involved myself with a man who has kids. I made a mistake. I had absolutely no idea the issues that come along with it. I was clueless. I didn't give it much thought. I was younger and had other things on my mind. All the problems that come along with dating or marrying a divorced dad were not even on my radar. Sure I knew DH had a daughter and we saw her EOWE and that was fine but did I think about the future? Did I think about the what if's? What if BM is crazy? What if SD turns into a spiteful brat? What if she moves in with us and drives me crazy? What if I can't stand her? No I didn't. I didn't honestly give it enough thought.
I wish I had found a website like this when we first started dating. I wish I had these volumes and volumes of stories to read. I would have ran for the hills. I am so envious of the people who find this site before things get serious. They have a chance to turn around and walk away before everything gets too tangled for them.
Now that Little Idiot is out of my home, I know I can never go back to having her living here. It was awful. I don't care that she is only 21 and may not be ready to be on her own (honestly it seems like kids today whine that they aren't ready until 30). I can't ever take her in. I'm scared she will never leave. I don't care if it destroys my marriage, I just can't live with her. Does that mean I don't really love my husband? I don't know. I guess so. I don't love him enough to put up with her in my house and have him stick his head in the sand and pretend everything she does is fine.
I don't care if she falls on hard times. I don't trust her enough to work, to be responsible or even clean up after herself. I don't trust her to ever leave again on her own without a major blow out like it took the last time. I can see what is happening and it's still the same old story. Yes she is working to pay for all her fun stuff and sponging off step daddy. He pays the bills, she buys clothes. Her plans for college are foggy at best and her grades are not good enough for high ambitions. She doesn't even care enough to research it and find out for herself. BM is the same way "I'm gonna do this, this and this" and everyone cheers and then nothing ever happens because you have to work for it.
Anyway I'm not sure what the point of this is ... I guess just to vent my thoughts.