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Little Idiot is NOT going to boot camp

AlmostGone83's picture

Little Idiot was supposed to come back this weekend. DH’s family planned a big “going away picnic” for her and DH got her a cake.

I figured there was gonna be drama as she was supposed to come back tomorrow but I saw as of last night that she hadn’t bought a plane ticket..... didn’t say anything to DH though. 

Well guess who I get a text message from this morning?

Little Idiot!

There was a long phone call between her and DH and several texts sent but this is the gist of it:

- Little Idiot still doesn’t “feel ready” to go.

- She has been “depressed for months” about it and didn’t know how to tell us. (Depressed about having having to DO something with her life that is... you know, more than laze around all day)

- Little Idiot spoke to her recruiter and has pushed back the date to September, she claims the recruiter is fine with this. (Why do I feel like she is lying??? This is the most understanding/accommodating recruiter I’ve ever met!)

- I told DH she can stay down in FL until then and if she ends up not going or deciding on college she needs to go down there to college because I am DONE. DH is not happy with me AT ALL and hasn’t agreed to that last part but honestly the NY excelsior program is strict and you have to live in this state for the same number of years that you go to college after you graduate. I know she doesn’t want to do that.

- Her run times have been “going up and down” (well she’s only been telling us the “down” times apparently ) and she thinks she is going to fail again.

- She is definitely for sure 100% no-buts-about-it going back in September (snort yeah right!) and DH of course believes her and “she is making the right choice.... blah blah blah.... everyone blossoms at their own pace.... she just wants to be sure she takes her last chance seriously.... blah blah blah”

- Oh but she also said maaaaybe I will go to college for a year down here then go in? Um how? You spent every last penny that you earned working. You don’t have a car now. You are a resident of NYS, not Florida (better get that changed back to FL then Felicia) and NYS will not let you get aid through the program and go for just a year.

More to follow...



SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture


SteppedOut's picture

We all, including you, knew this was going to happen. 

I'm glad you told your husband she can stay down there... hopefully he was listening. HOWEVER, what are you going to do if he allows her to return?

AlmostGone83's picture

I don’t know! I don’t want her back in my house and I don’t THINK she wants to live here either but she will probably butt heads with BM and try to weasel her way back. I’m trying to set up the expectation that she stay down there but DH May waiver. I don’t want to get a divorce.... but it’s going to turn into an all out war if she comes back here and it might be the end of our relationship. It would be a nightmare divorce too.

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Why would it be a nightmare divorce? Would your weak, spineless husband try to take your money and your property?!

tog redux's picture

Good for you for giving it to DH straight.  Enough is enough. 

With this work ethic, she won't keep the Excelsior Scholarship if she gets one at all. 

Now let's hope she can grow a set and tell Daddeee that the Coast Guard is HIS dream for her, not her own - and figure out what she really wants to do with her life. 

Siemprematahari's picture

You called it that's for d@mn sure! I don't think SD wants to do this and pushing it off until September is just another attempt of trying to avoid it for as long as possible. I wish you well AlmostGone83, I know she's on your last nerve!

Harry's picture

We all knew this would happen. Just did not know the story she will have.  You are right she can stay in FL,and flop around.  I don’t care what DH thinks, do not let her back into your home.  She will never leave. You will be supporting her for years.  She is not going back to school, 

AlmostGone83's picture

I don’t want her to come back! DH needs to realize that his marriage to a hard-working, stable, successful me is more important than wasting his time and resources babysitting his loser adult daughter.

Petronella's picture

haha your poor dumb DH. He was the only one who actually thought boot camp was going to happen. 

Please tell me the cake has her name on it and everything. I'd take such pleasure in eating it this weekend.

I think it's completely reasonable not to let her move back into your house. She's an adult. She's been doing nothing for how long now? She's lost her latest job. She needs to figure something else out. This yoyo routine is NOT ON.  

Petronella's picture

He should have been upset and embarrassed about his daughter, long before now. 

tog redux's picture

He can say, "Oh, did you think I said BOOT CAMP? HAHAHA.  I said what a CUTE SCAMP! Ha, you guys are funny! Now eat some cake."

AlmostGone83's picture

Lol lol lol the cake! He had it planned for it to be made with “Good Luck Little Idiot” he said he’s going to call and have them change it to “Happy Memorial Day” lol I wish it had already been made but as the party isn’t until Sunday. I am still going to bring it and cut myself a huge piece. 

notarelative's picture

Even if it has been make, they will scrape off the wording and rewrite (for extra cost).

I hope DH remembers the embarrassment he feels now when daughter talks about the next boot camp date. 

He may find himself embarrassed about his new wording on the cake if his relatives view the day as I do. Happy is not a word I associate with Memorial Day.

justmakingthebest's picture

What would happen if your DH said, " NO- you will go to boot camp and you will get through it or you are not welcome back in my home."

I feel like in your DH's shoes this is exactly what I would do. Little idiot reminds me of a cousin of mine. A COD and always given everything. He was/is super smart. He got a partial scholarship at a school in FL going for Astrophysics. Anyway... 1st semester comes and goes. Then about 8 weeks into 2nd, he decides he wants to come home. Calls my uncle and tells him to come get him now. 

This KID:

  • Didn't have a driver's license
  • Uncle already paid room and board and meal plan and tuition for 2nd semester and was out any kind of refund at this point
  • Didn't have any plan other than "waaaaa! I wanna come home."

We all told my uncle, NO!!! Don't go get him. Tell him he has to stay. He has to complete this. He doesn't have a home with you if he quits. He can't come back. You will sell everything he owns if he doesn't stay. -- nope. Now he has a loser at home 6 freaking years later!!! 

My uncle, we can call him Uncle Dumbass, went and got him. Cousin still lives at home 6 yrs later, no driver's license, no job, stays in his room all day and online gambles. YUP. That is what happened to little cousin Astrophysics. 




If your DH doesn't play hardball now, he will always have little idiot running home whenever things get hard. Life if hard punkin' - suck it up and deal with it. 

hereiam's picture

Oh my gosh, I am so surprised!!!!  Shok

At this point, both she and your husband need to just come to the realization and admit that she is not joining the service. I mean, really.

If I were her recruiter, I wouldn't even want her, now.

AlmostGone83's picture

Yes this recruiter is way way waaaay to patient! I would have been done with her a long time ago!

advice.only2's picture

I would tell DH put that cake on ice and he can bring it back out when she finally actually leaves...I have a feeling that cake will still be sitting 10, 15, 20 years from now.

hereiam's picture

It would be all I could do to hold back from smooshing that cake right in his face. After I eat a piece.

ITB2012's picture

Im curious how many of the relatives are surprised. Surely others must have seen through this ruse.

And, I’ll bet that she doesn’t have a recruiter and she’s been off any “list” of enrollees for a long time now. She’d probably have to re-enlist and maybe, hopefully, they wouldn’t take her since she’s obviously not committed. 


AlmostGone83's picture

I am sure a select few of the relatives are going to be giving us the side eye and I bet at least one of them will whisper wtf to me. I’m plan on just snorting in a disgusted manner and rolling my eyes if the subject is brought up. 

ntm's picture

Please tell me that you are not attending this farce of a picnic. And can you contact the recruiter to find out what’s really going on? Seems like she’s just stringing daddio along. And a previous poster was correct—she’s not making it through college with or without a scholarship. Set a firm “no take backs” rule for your home. I am sooooo glad I bought mine on my own. 

Petronella's picture

This one is huge! That was something I made very sure was clear to my FH, before I agreed to his daughter moving in with us. That if she changed her mind and flounced back to BM, that would be IT. No back and forth.

GrabitAndGo's picture

Hilarious!  I'll play along and accept she can go to boot camp in Sept. as the truth.  Once Sept. nears she'll have some other excuse for not going.  Something else will come up.

You've pretty much hit the nail on the head, AG.  This girl doesn't want to do ANYTHING that takes effort.  I think she enjoys the attention she gets when she says she's going into the Coast Guard, but she doesn't want to put in the sweat equity to actually join up.  

Lay down the law with your DH about 2 things: 1) she is not coming back to your home to live, and 2) he doesn't say one more word about SD joining the Coast Guard since she's proven that's the absolute last thing she wants to do.  You're not going to play into that fantasy anymore.