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Just for fun... A Hundred and One Reasons to JUST SAY NO to Becoming a Stepparent

AlmostGone83's picture

Just for fun, I thought it would be interesting to make a list of reasons why one might avoid Stephell and see how high we can go. I can think of several that have recently come up on here. right off the bat. Feel free to add your own!


1. SDs who are mini-wives with your husband

2. Clingy stepchildren

3. Favoritism for skids on the part of the in-laws 

4. BM is BFFs with your in-laws

5. Dirty skid bathrooms

6. Who gets the bigger bedroom?

7. Trying to schedule holiday get-togethers around the skids

8. Every skid needs braces

9. FaceTime invading your privacy at home

10. Lice

11. Hogging the TV in the living room

12. Replacing clothes that disappear at BMs

13. Child support

I will leave off at unlucky #13....



thinkthrice's picture

14.  the smell

NoThanks's picture

Crying for asinine reasons. 

Being cute for daddy. 

Every inch of the house being unsanitary. 

AlwaysSmiling's picture

You never get to be thought of first.
Kids' needs and even wants come before you are even thought of.

Evil3's picture

Coming a distant second to the royal ones.

Having boogers, shit and piss germs all over the place.

I've been noticing shit-related posts. I can't imagine having a SK who shits themselves and spreads the wealth.

tankh21's picture

1. Dealing with a Psycho BM and her mini me.
2. Dealing with toxic, pathological liars.
3. Dealing with someone invading your privacy.
4.Not being able to leave anything personal laying around because the skids can't be trusted not to look through it.

5. Skids telling BM everything that goes on in our house.
6. Dealing with a Disney dad that doesn't discipline his kids.
7. Being expected to "help" pay for the skids.

ChamomileTea4Me's picture

You took the words right out of my brain on ALL 7! *good*

futurobrillante99's picture

* narcissists

* filthy stepsons leaving used condoms in their rooms and all other manner of filth

* being used for money, social standing, etc.

Just J's picture

Bitchy emails/text/calls from the bio parent 

bio parent always hitting up your spouse for extra money

Bedrooms that you pay extra for sitting empty half (or more) of the time because the golden children aren't there. Also having to keep them as a shrine after they turn 18 because God forbid they don't feel welcome to come any time as adults!

the SMELL of those bedrooms! My SS's room smelled like sweaty socks for YEARS!

Hearing "what are we doing this weekend?" Every time the kids come over. I don't know, does your mom plan activities every weekend? Do we have to always do something? My parents didnt  have outings planned every weekend for me as a kid, why do COD expect this? Oh, I forgot cuz Disney dads/moms.

It doesn't end at 18. And they sometimes move in/come back as adults and stink up the rooms all over again.


MurphysLaw's picture

Beat me to it!


AlmostGone83's picture

Lack of “ firsts” with ours babies

False CPS accusations

Living in the first family home

Pictures of BM and your husband

Skid weddings, graduations and joint birthday parties

Vacation drama

Lack of support/understanding from non-stepparents 

Different expectations for skids vs bios

Evil stepmom stereotype 

Having to hide in your room or leave during visitation




ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Pictures of BM and your husband. Those just suck.

With that we can add. DH's family who has failed to fully move on and keeps that s*** around or posts it on Fakebook. Bleck.

ChamomileTea4Me's picture

SSs visiting. I'm hiding right now in my room, turning to my new Steptalker Tribe for an ounce of understanding and sanity! ;) 

Dovina's picture

The dysfunctional torch is handed down to the next generation.

strugglingSM's picture

These feel very personal to me right now...

1) In-laws who think they have a right to weigh in on what goes on in your home because they are "just looking out for the children". 

2) In-laws who think that you should not exist as a person, because the only that people who matter are the children from your spouse's prior marriage. 

3) In-laws who still socialize with BM and also take on the view that she is the sainted martyr and you are the wicked stepmother...even before they meet you. 

4) In-laws who haven't moved on from the divorce. 


Thisisnotus's picture

OMGGGGGGG..............this is so me. Thank god it's slowly getting better but In-laws are the worst.

The "looking out for the children" is laughable.....they aren't your G-damn children. I get the "I'm the skids only stability" from my MIL...which is complete BS.

Harry's picture

We would be different, We were going to be the exception. We would not be in Stephell.   Guest what? We were not different. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

"Everything will be fine. We're all adults and can act as such!" *cue psychotic narc of a BM and crazy in-law moments*

susanm's picture

That nervous twitch we developed and having to come up with something to say when well-meaning strangers ask if we need to lie down somewhere quiet.

AlmostGone83's picture

Anxiety/depression before the skids visit no matter how “good” they are

Staying late at work to avoid them at home

Drama about inheritance and wills

First family traditions that carry over into your life

Cosleeping skids

BMs that don’t have to work and still live better than you (who are struggling to get by as CS flies out the window)

BMs who dress provocative and flirt with DH

Excessive phone calls from skids

DHs who think every visition must be packed full of fun


CLove's picture

Feeling like you have to make up for bio parents lack. Feeling like a "fill in the cracks of parenting" step parent.

I have JUST found out that Toxic Troll, who has JUST recieved her workmans comp settlement, after buying a nice $200 violin for munchkin is now down in Disneyland!!!! Without her kid!

Doublehelix's picture

Everything. I don't see how stepparenting is rewarding in any way. We can make it work, yes...we do it bc we love our SOs...but is there a benefit for the stepparent? I haven't found it yet...

susanm's picture

Building strength of character?  Testing the theory that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger?  Making our liver earn its keep filtering the alcohol from our blood?

ChamomileTea4Me's picture

And THAT is why I'm hiding in my bedroom right now and scrolling StepTalk posts. Thank you for the laugh. From the bottom of my stressed out, frustrated, resentful, anxious, and often confused about what the h@ll is going on in this "blended" family heart... thank you for that sorely needed laugh!  {Sips wine} lol

Doublehelix's picture

BWAHAHAHA, well you got that right, lol  My liver has gotten way more exercise than it ever has...

Loki's picture

.....a scapegoat, always blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others because it's convenient and practical despite being immoral.

StepperLife's picture

Teenage SD for some reason never come prepared for their stay, they forget their hair products, underwear *scratch_one-s_head*, monthly products when you don’t use the same, goes into your makeup and clothes and my favorite them telling you how to raise your children with DH.