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Just for fun....

AlmostGone83's picture

If you were to write a personal for your skids what would it say?

Here’s mine:

SWF,18, looking for FaceTime bf ONLY. No real-time interaction. Hate leaving my bedroom. No phone calls. I have phone anxiety. Text/message only plz. Any age/loc OK. Must take good selfies for FB, be willing to send me $ and tell me I’m pretty.

Comments

notasm3's picture

SS34 found a GF 4 years ago and they have a 3 year old.  But here’s what his would have said before he leached onto her. 

SWM30 - loves to party and lives for alcohol but drugs are really great too.  Really looking for a woman with a job, car and place to live as I have none of these. 

Chmmy's picture

High school junior. No boy is worth my time. I put on make up, do my hair, get my nails done and my eyebrows done and then sit in my room and take selfies. Im not really pretty but I want to be. I could stand to lose 30-40 pounds but that wont stop me from posting bikini pics on social media.

AlmostGone83's picture

Ditto for the sitting in the room taking selfies (also public bathroom mirrors *barf* )

advice.only2's picture

“SWF21...I’m single, sexy and ready to mingle.  I love selfies of myself, I just had my lips done.  I’m into posting photos online that showcase me and my body!  I don’t have a lot of time to waste on a guy who can’t take photos of me all day.  PM me only if you are as serious about me as I am about me.”

StepUltimate's picture

"PM me only if you are as serious about me as I am about me.”

OMG hilarious!!! Biggrin

pickles45's picture

I'm not in the mood to write a personal up tonight for my SO's 14 year old daughter but can I just say in repsonse to your "personal" - She LITERALLY  went upstairs tonight to face time her best friend and when it was't working came downstairs one minute later. Her dad asked what happened so she told him and then said "thats ok we're just going to text". ( On a side note - Me in my head "Yayyy so you can't do that in your bedroom and give your dad and I even 5 minutes alone?") Anyways - We both said at the same time "Why don't you just talk on the phone?' She was like "No we would rather text" God I am soo glad I do not have bio kids! I cant stand how they are these days! 

AlmostGone83's picture

For the longest time my SD refused to make phone calls to anyone who wasn’t 1. Her mom or 2. Her dad. She still has a major case of phone anxiety. From what I read it’s very common with this new generation. I wonder how they will ever function in the workforce? 

Also I get wanting the five minutes alone! Luckily my SD is older and likes to be in her room most of the time. Problem is: I think she will be 30 and still want to be in there!

GrabitAndGo's picture

I often wish texting had nevert been invented.  It drives me insane when people would rather text than actually talk on the phone! Helllloooo!  My time is valuable.  I don't want to spend 10 minutes typing out what could be said in a 2 minute telephone conversation.

And don't get me started on teenagers and texting.  WTF???  They'll literally be sitting 2 feet away from each other in the same room, and freaking texting!  It makes me weep for humanity.

Kes's picture

SDstb24's ad would be:  Hope you like work because I have never had a full time job.  Hair trigger temper, so you need to be good at ducking, and kowtowing to my tantrums.  Must like bleached blond straw-like hair.  

SD22's would be:  Must be willing to keep silent most of the time while I expound my know-nothing theories on politics, arts, life, the Universe and everything.  Must be willing to acknowledge anyone who disagrees with me is stupid.  

AlmostGone83's picture

Yeah my SD could also throw in the part about wanting to be a kept woman.... I feel sorry for the poor guy she cons into supporting her

StepUltimate's picture

SSstb19's personal ad goes a little something like this:

Looking for a hot gf who DGAF 'bout my lying, manipulation, or laziness, and enjoys watching me play xbox, listening to my bitching about everyone, and experiencing my chronic victimitis whenever I fail to enjoy my consequences. Speaking of The Chronic, if you're a grower I am the quality-assurance stoner you need to smoke your sh*t & tell you about all my weed-smoking wisdom. Must be willing to suspend belief, and cannot have any standards, including but not limited to being offended or turned off my lack of personal hygiene, my refusal to do laundry, and my willingness to look you in the eye & lie my face off. Speaking of facing off, must be willing to tolerate any and all of my confrontational "How dare you accuse me of doing what you just busted me doing?" stances. Text, IM, FB, snapchat, or swing on by when my BM & StepDad are gone because we should hook up, kick it, get wasted, and not use condoms.

AlmostGone83's picture

Lol “quality assurance” stoner! He can list that on his resume .... “worked in QC”

AlmostGone83's picture

Lol well it is almost Valentines Day after all! Maybe love is in the air!

Evil3's picture

SWF29 looking for a distance relationship. Living in a different country is ideal. Must tell me that I'm the most superior female that ever lived, spend all of your money on me and gush about my insane beauty constantly. Must know your place, which is far, far beneath me. Must be willing to pass all of my tests that I administer throughout each and every day to test you to see if you can be diverted from everyone and everything. You cannot have faults at all, because I'm perfect. I have a job, but want to quit and be a kept woman. You must be willing to do all of the cooking. cleaning and other tasks. I do none of that. Must be willing to empty my period-paddy garbage cans, because I won't do such a lowly thing myself. You will have to have skype open 24/7 so that I can be in contact with you at all times, but God forbid we be in person. Send me money.

Cooooookies's picture

SWM16 I love to sit in my room 24/7 and do nothing but stare at various screens.  No interests or hobbies, no job, no money.  Hate talking so text only and too shy to even hold hands but watching porn 12 hours per day is ok.  Friend me on PS4 so I can boss you around and scream obscenities at you when you don't play exactly as I command.  Hope you don't mind being my mommy cuz I don't like to clean, pick up, wash, brush, move or poop unless reminded every day.  Bring junk food.