Funnies from the FL Skunk Ape
So Little Idiot (SD almost 19) just came back from her vacation in FL last night. Apparently on the last day, she squeezed in a few hours of time with The Skunk Ape (her mother - the one who kicked her out as soon as the CS well ran dry at 18). I don’t mind, I was actually hoping that they would reconcile and maybe she would move back with her but alas the arguing apparently continued. MOTY has to have her Facebook photo op to keep up appearances which was I suspect the real reason for the visit. While I can’t stand Little Idiot, a tiny shred of pity crept into my cold black heart when she told me some of what happened while with The Skunk Ape. The “visit” was fraught with hilarious drama. Let me list the highlights.
- The Skunk Ape recently broke up with her most recent boyfriend. This guy, who is competing with her for The Nutjob Award, has been in prison before and was apparently the main number/contact on their cellphone plan. The other people on the plan who have cell phones are Skunk Ape and her 7 year old daughter. Apparently during the visit, Nutjob would repeatedly call The Skunk Ape, get mad when she wouldn’t answer his calls, contact the phone company and have Skunk Ape’s number turned off. Skunk Ape would then get on her daughters phone, call him up, screaming and demanding to have her phone turned back on. The phone would be turned on until his call was ignored again and the cycle would repeat. Now Little Idiot spent the better part of a day with them and apparently this happened not once, not twice but three times that day!
- The Skunk Ape told Little Idiot (and I have no idea how this topic came up) that if Jesus and Little Idiot we’re both hanging from a cliff, Skunk Ape would Save Jesus over her daughter (WTF)
- Apparently Skunk Ape’s car broke down and Little Idiot was given permission to take her ex stepdad’s new gf’s vehicle to pick her up. While driving the skunk ape home, she apparently went through all of gf’s personal items, thieving a few of them and stealing some of stepdad’s paystubs.
- Skunk Ape is convinced she is going to be manager of red lobster despite only working there for about three weeks and having no manager experience nor a desire or the stamina to work over 20hrs a week. (She has a long history of lying about future plans.)
- Skunk Ape got into a FB war with her oldest son’s gf (she has 4 kids btw, three oldest including Little Idiot -DHs only one- want nothing to do with her, the youngest is essentially being held hostage). Gf (21) was trash talking and provoking the Skunk Ape and a argument ensued that would make Jerry Springer proud.