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Dreading the fall

AlmostGone83's picture

Last week DH got a letter from his car insurance company basically saying that they were going to automatically insure Little Idiot (SD19) on both of our vehicles in fifteen days because, I assume, everyone of driving age with a license needs to be insured? I’m not sure what this is going to cost (we have Geico) but I have a feeling it will be expensive!!!!!

Ugh I am so sick of all the bs she continues to cause in our lives. She is in FL right now with her mother but told DH she is still going into the Coast Guard at the end of September (huge eye roll!). I was hoping she would change her address to down there and go to college but NOPE. This is just another attempt to delay being an adult. She is lazy lazy lazy. Now when is the next time she can enroll in college? The fall semester will be out ... so spring of 2020? 

The worst part is she has to come back up here for the bus to ship out! I’m already dreading this (I finally got her room relatively stink-free) and once she flunks out (again) .... if she even goes back, where will she stay? I told DH that she needs to go to college down there because I AM NOT DEALING WITH HER and he sort of agreed but you know how it is with these guilty dads!!! Also now she has residence established in NY (ugh) and would have to switch her address (which then she would need a year to establish residency) or pay out-of-state tuition rates. 

Oh and she still does not have a job down there (she has been there since the beginning of May). Spent all of her money that I insisted she save because (as she LOVES to say) “I do what I want!!!!”

She has better not try to worm her way back into our house because I will freaking LOSE it having to deal with her starting all over from square one. 


tog redux's picture

There was just a thread about this - you can sign a waiver that she won't be driving the cars at your home (but would be liable if she did and got in an accident).

SteppedOut's picture

Make sure your husband is covering the additional cost. Once she "ships out" she should change her address on her DL. 

Sorry girl, I know your situation and it sucks. You are left hanging just waiting for the next pile of bullshit. That constant "just waiting" takes it out of you and leaves you jaded. 

STaround's picture

We only have friends going into Army/Navy, but they get a letter with a firm date and instructions.  Not certain why this date keeps changing.  I am suspicious.   I moved from NY to Florida and it was very easy to get my FLorida license.  Not certain why DH can say she no longer lives here.

STaround's picture

Went to the CB Boot Camp page.  There is a THREE MONTH recommended physical prep plan.   Not certain if she can call her recruiter to get on a different bus at this point

SteppedOut's picture

She can't. And there is probably no actual intention of skid to actually really go to CG. She is just stringing it on and on and on. 

That's why OP is dreading fall. Because it will become evident (to all but her husband). Fall will likely be when OP has to make some hard decisions. 

Harry's picture

She will not come into your home for any reason.  No one night stays , turning into weeks,  Moneynisnone thing having your life screw up, dealing with her everyday is another thing. 

Kes's picture

All I can say is car insurance must work very differently than it does here in the UK.  It costs an arm and a leg here, to insure a young person under 25, often more than the cost of a car, for 12 months cover.  Insurance companies would not dream of insuring someone without specific instruction to do so, just because they are of an age to drive.  I also understand you pay next to nothing for your gas (what we refer to as petrol here - I'm assuming you're in the USA) compared to us.  It is certainly not assumed every individual over 17 is going to be a driver.   Young people here tend not to be given cars, nor to have their parents pay for insurance.  If they want all that they can work for it. 

tog redux's picture

It costs a lot here, too, to insure young drivers, but there is a waiver you can sign saying the kids won't drive the cars in the home. Otherwise they automatically add all licensed drivers.  

Also, many areas in the US have little to no public transportation, so if the kids don't drive, the parents have to schlep them around everywhere.

Daisymazy2's picture

If you tell them that she is no longer in the household, they are more than likely will want proof of residence and/or proof of insurance.   Keep in mind they are going to want this proof in writing.  They will want a copy of her insurance and or a bill with her name on it for the new address.

Everyone of us on this site knows that BM/SD would more than likely not give you any of this information.  The insurance company isn't going to care if she will or not.  They will want the proof given to them.

If you do not know BM's address, you can call and inform that SD moved out to be with her mother and you do not  know her address and that you are assuming it is somewhere in Florida.  Do not volunteer information that you can call SD or you have any contact with SD.  

The insurance company may be able to exclude her (meaning she isn't rated/charged or your policy but she will NOT be covered if she drives your vehicles)

If you call the insurance company,  do not volunteer any information.   

I will never allow a step kid to use my address to obtain a drivers license.  You can expect your bill to go up anywhere between 100 to 300 or more a month depending on your location, age/type of vehicles,  violations/accidents for SD, coverage for your vehicles and discounts you have on the policy.


SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Tell your DuH you will never live with his adult daughter ever again.

Have your ducks in a row in case he caves and plays guilteeee daddeee.

TimeToGo's picture

As others stated, call Geico & inform them that she is out of your home, not driving your vehicles. ASAP.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

OP, keep working on your exit strategy. These people are all nuts, and your SD is going to continue to be a millstone around someone's neck for a long time. 

Any man who prefers the filth, dishonesty, and drama of an adult kid to the comfort and peace of a happy home with a loving spouse has issues.

shamds's picture

Make car insurance mandatory to be paid by the bio parents or isn’t when someone of adult age responsible for this themselves?

why should you both be responsible for this? This isn’t how it works in asian countries or australia. Insurance is voluntary but if you own a car then registered car owner must have compulsory 3rd party insurance but this is for personal injury to other drivers

thinkthrice's picture

Anybody of drivable age has to be insured.  If you are caught by the cops driving around without insurance they will throw the book at you.  So basically if a 17 year old moves in with you your insurance automatically jumps by 300 to $400 a month.

OP needs to get proof that SD is not living with them or as others have said call the insurance company and tell them she has left and gone to her mother's house in Florida.