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Another reason for the failure-to-launch generation...

AlmostGone83's picture

I thought I would share an interesting article on the socially inept generation ....particularly because this piece was MADE for my SDalmost19....

According to this, more kids today....

- Prefer communicating through a screen instead of face-to-face. How will they survive in the workforce?

- Have less interest in driving, sex, dating, getting a job, or even hanging out with friends (Activities requiring human interaction). They’d rather sit in their room on Snapchat all day. This is why our skids are up our collective @$$e$ Btw.

- Have less interest in moving out and creating their own life - again this requires interaction with other humans.... they would have to get a job, handle (via conversations) problems on their own, maybe even (gasp) live with a roommate .... all things that are highly stressful for them!

- Report feeling more “lonely” and have more mental ailments than previous generations... That’s because their screen “friends” aren’t really friends at all and they don’t form any meaningful connections with them!

Personally I attribute all of this to LAZINESS. It takes a minimal amount of WORK to interact with other humans. My own SD has been so crippled by her cellphone that speaking to strangers (waiters, cashiers, etc) gave her extreme anxiety. 


tog redux's picture

I don't know if it's laziness, so much as not having developed the appropriate skills, due to a lot of factors.

One is the heavy use of the internet. Another is overprotective parents who don't want the kids leaving the house or becoming independent, so they don't encourage it.

My friend's son just turned 16 and she signed him up for his permit test on his birthday, he had no choice. His friends are "not ready".  He actually thanked her for doing it because he was anxious about it, and being given a chance to say "not ready", he'd have taken it.  Most parents don't push their kids like that anymore.

They make home so comfy, the kids never want to leave. They don't have to pay rent, or get jobs, they get all the comforts of their childhood right into adulthood.

My SS19 is so dependent on BM - he doesn't have his license because he "lost his permit", he's never had a job, she gives him over 300 in allowance, buys all of his gaming stuff, etc - why the hell would he leave?  But he's also struggled with depression and anxiety and lives in a fantasy world where he's going to be a pro gamer.

Parents are part of this issue, IMO - a big part.  My parents wanted us out, parents now don't.

Jcksjj's picture

I have a brother who is 24 and several cousins around that age. Both of my brothers serious gfs didnt have their licenses at over 20 and none of my cousins except one got theirs until about 20 either. His sons mother just got hers at 25 and was relying on everyone else for rides everywhere even when she had a kid herself. I found that really bizarre because I'm only 6 years older and didnt know a single person that didnt get theirs as soon as they could.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Last time I checked, PARENTS were the ones supplying cell phones and internet to their kids. Maybe don't blame the kid's laziness fully when the parents shoved the screen in front of them to shut them up in the first place?

I hate these articles. I hate that they are written about 18-22 year olds as if, magically at 18, kids are supposed to know how to adult. How about mentioning how parents cripple their own kids? Or how society has made it nearly impossible for families to not have dual income, so screens become the "free" babysitter? Or how every sport is now super competitive or part of a travelling team, so kids don't have ready access to many recreational leagues past age 12? Or that we, as a society, have invested $0 in activities for teenagers ages 13-18?

But, yeah, let's blame teens solely for this issue. 

tog redux's picture

I didn't know how to be an adult at 18, and I was scared about going to college (actually, I was 17), but my parents pushed me and made me go. There was no choice, I wasn't going to hang around their house doing nothing because I was afraid to grow up.

Plus, as they knew, once I got a taste of that independence, I didn't want to fall back into being in their home - I enjoyed being on my own. But they made me get jobs, didn't coddle me or buy me a car, or do anything that made HOME seem better than growing up. My mother says now that was strategic - they wanted us to be uncomfortable at home so we'd leave.

Now the parents, truthfully, don't really want the kids to leave. They make all kinds of excuses for why they can't, but it's parental fear just as much as kid fear.

lieutenant_dad's picture

To be fair to parents, many who are raising the young adult generation right now didn't grow up with internet. They didn't grow up with instaneous and continuous access to friends, family, news, information, etc. So I do think many parents are combating ever-changing technology while trying to raise kids around it when the kids are smarter and faster at it than they can ever hope to be.

But, I think that makes it even more imperative for parents to learn about the technology and/or limit it.

tog redux's picture

The kids are more informed, but they aren't smarter, and they are more immature because they don't face any of the stuff our parents made us face.

And you don't have to be computer savvy to turn off the wifi or demand the phone be handed over at 10 pm. But parents don't do that because they are afraid of their kids' reactions, thereby giving them too much power.

thinkthrice's picture

Fixing computers for a living and doing side jobs, I'd rather have an older person who is more cautious when it comes to computer use than "Junior the Computer Expert" (TM) who thinks he knows what he is doing and ends up making the family laptop a paper weight.

Iamwoman's picture

Honestly, I think iGen will fare better than have the Millennial generation.

Millennials were basically raised by Boomers who have handed them life on a silver platter. The high suicide rates post-college were attributed to the stark "real world doesn't revolve around me" realization - as opposed to a childhood of unearned trophies and unabashed attention from satellite (helicopter) parenting.

iGen parents tend to be a combination of GenX and Millenials.I have noticed that the children of GenXer's do have a more realistic viewpoint of the world. They have watched their GenX parents struggle through the housing crisis, through the job crisis during our last leader's 8 year regime, and watched their parents finally begin to show the fruit of efforts within the past few years for all of these struggles. I am speaking for teens today aged roughly 11-18. I don't hear these teens say the ridiculous things I used to hear Millennial teens say, such as "I am working on becoming a Millionaire by the end of the month," or "I'm not willing to take an entry level job straight out of college - I am management/CEO/supervisory material," or "I don't understand why I can't wear yoga pants as an accountant." I hear today's teens saying things such as "I have helped my dad with welding for a couple of years, so I know I want to be a welder," or "My plan is to get good grades so I can get into a good college, then get a small apartment and make sure I'm living within the budget my GenX parents said I will probably have as an entry level employee, then work my way upward over the next twenty years and hope to own a nice house someday." YES these MORE realistic comments are coming from iGen!!!  

As for the depression, I think these statistics are self-reported and the kiddos don't really understand what depression is. In fact, weren't MOST of us depressed as teens? I certainly was, and you know what? I grew out of it.

As for the screen-time social connections, it is my OBSERVATION that this has enhanced our children's social lives as opposed to detracting from it. Think about it: Millennials grew up in a changing society where parents were increasingly afraid to let them out of sight, yet they had little to zero opportunity to socialize in any other format. iGen has grown up with the SAME paranoia from society, yet my own DD and skids have MORE socialization that I ever had as a teen. They don't have to drive anywhere to meet up with friends, because they meet up in a virtual world. Fort Nite is a virtual playground, not just for battles, but I have witnessed my children laughing for hours on end with large groups of friends as they play "hide and seek" and many other fun games together in their virtual world. I think their social skills are far better, and I do see parallels between the older generations social skills and the iGen social skills, but in vastly different settings (we can't stagnate as a society forever can we now?).

The only true losers I see in any of the generations are millennials. As much as we all gripe about the lack of social skills (why don't they say "thank you" when cashiering, or say "sorry" when they screw up?), it isn't the fault of this unfortunate generation, but the fault of their parents and of society for the excessive coddling and imprinting of unrealistic expectations. At the same time, it's not my job to fix these flaws in others. Some millennials will choose to fix and better themselves and some will maintain the arrogant viewpoint that they are "perfect the way they are."

As for iGen, perhaps the mental health world is experiencing an income crisis now that the unecessary over-diagnoses of aspergers and autism and ADHD has thankfully declined. What's up next? Oh... let's just go back to DEPRESSION. It's sort of Deja Vu from the 1990's when teens (who are naturally depressed as they try to find their identity in life) are told to "just pop a prozac" and then wind up flying a Cessna into someone's home because... pharamacueticals.

iGen is going to be our most successful generation in a long time. Besides everyting I've just listed, they also have developed a thick skin to the general public's tendency to self-diagnose, and they want no part of it. These are some tough kids, and I'm excited to see how they flourish.

...and as another commenter so adeptly put it: most jobs these days are remote and DO require a lot of screentime. iGens are a shoe-in.

tog redux's picture

I'm in the mental health field and I totally disagree. The iGen kids have had huge increases in anxiety and depression, and most notably, suicide.  I've been in the field for 30 years and these kids are the sickest ones I've ever seen.

On the other hand, I employ 10 or so very hard-working, responsible Millenials, who are great employees, independent and responsible.

Iamwoman's picture

Now I understand your incessant opposition to me on a previous blog. I have definitely made some unflattering remarks about mental health professionals as I have run into far more "bad" than "good." I am glad you have found good millennial employees. There are definitely exceptions to generalities, but I was speaking to generalities just as the OP was.

I make no evaluation on your services as I don't know who you are or where you provide, but I have been teaching for over 14 years and have seen generations come and go. I stand by my comment.

tog redux's picture

I'm sorry you perceive incessant opposition just because I disagree.  That's not my intention.

But of course, you know more than me about mental health issues since you are a teacher. lol

Iamwoman's picture

Oh that's right. I momentarily forgot that teachers are at the bottom of the barrel and part of the problem, not the solution. My assistance in more than just educational material to literally tens of thousands of students over the years is just "playing house" because I don't have that piece of paper to validate the mental assistance and positive affect I've had. Gosh, it's amazing I've made it this far in life with my eyes so tightly glued shut. LOL!

tog redux's picture

I didn't say that, you did. You basically dismissed everything I have to say about my 30 years of experience with kids and mental illness because you think mental health professionals are silly.

I don't know where you work, but in my community the schools are begging for more mental health support due to the large number of suicides they are experiencing.  That seems to be a trend in many areas, based on what I read.

I have great respect for teachers - but many of them do not understand mental health issues as much as they think they do.

beebeel's picture

No, no, no. That's not what tog was saying. She was simply implying you must have far more knowledge about mental health as a teacher than she does as a mental health professional. Wink You seem to agree with her, so you really don't need to be this defensive lol.


SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Uuh my kids’ teachers are FABULOUS at recognizing trouble brewing. I tell them when I have concerns. Teachers are my heros.

tog redux's picture

Agreed. Teachers are the front line and they are an important part of the process. But they don't receive a ton, if any, of mental health training. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture


beebeel's picture

The high suicide rate among college millennials had nothing to do with the "you MUST go the college" advice and the $100K price tag? Really?

Technically, I'm a millennial, even though I was generation Y for 20 years, now they say I'm not. Whatever. I was 26 when the housing market crashed and the job market tanked. I've read that people my age will be affected by the 08 crisis longer and more negatively than any other. 

My skids are 18 and 16 and I haven't observed any of the praises you heap upon this age group as a whole. My generation is the same damn level of stupid as yours was and yours made just as many mistakes as the ones before that. You complain about the unfair characterization of one generation while heaping inaccurate generalizations upon another? Okaaaay!

As a mother of a nearly 3 year old, I quickly realized it is beyond stupid to compare my child to other 3 year olds to decide who has the best personality. 

There are shitty people of every age group. Even the "Greatest Generation" had shitty, shitty people. Every new advance in technology has made the older folks crazy with their predictions that it would cause the downfall of civilization. Yawn. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Millenial here, and I'm tired of their rhetoric.

ALL I heard growing up was "go to college and you'll be successful". No one mentioned student loan debt. No one mentioned that everything had a major but that didn't make it profitable. Every poster in my school was about going to college or joining the military. And this was a school that HAD a trade program. I never saw a poster about trade schools.

I was in the middle of my degree program when the recession hit. My mom and SF made some minorly poor financial decisions, mixed with some career-ending injuries, that made them homeless. I graduated in 4 years in 2010 and was just happy to get a job. Many of my classmates were working their retail-style jobs from college because it was taking 6 months to a year to find something entry-level.

The only thing I have ever really witnessed in my generation are people wanting to be supervisors immediately. Part of that is due to needing the money to pay back the loans we took out for the educations we were told would make us all this money that equated to nothing in the recession.

Many of us have stayed fairly entry-level until the last 2-3 years, and now we're competing with the "new kids" coming in who have Masters Degrees because they just stayed in school as they weathered thw recession. And we're getting passed over for promotions because we don't have the experience because it didn't exist 2-3 years ago when we should have been up for a promotion.

Add to that that many of us have grown up during a time of war and/or civil unrest. I have never been on an airplane that didn't require me to take my shoes off in security. I was in middle school when 9/11 happened, and I remember vividly that the military had a presence in my high school EVERY DAY recruiting kids as early as they could, offering HUGE signing bonuses to them and their friends.

So, yeah, I'm a bit bitter and fatalistic. Real life hit hard, and no one even hinted that what happened could happen. We were ill-prepared and pissed. Yet I think most of us are dealing with it the best way we can.

beebeel's picture

A-freaking-men! You are a little younger than me (I was a freshmen in college on 9/11). But I'm so effing tired of being told millennials are "entitled" just for wanting the same opportunities as older generations without the crushing debt and sky-high costs of health care.

thinkthrice's picture

have dumbed down education making today's degree practically worthless.   No one complains about the greedy universities and so-called professors salaries.

Health INSURANCE rates (not healthCARE) where BMs on this site take the skids to the ER for a hangnail have skyrocketed especially since the ACA which basically expanded Medicaid to 13 million people.

9/11 Needn't have happened.   The first time the WTC was bombed by the same culprits, the administration at the time (Clintons) chose to ignore the act and all the intelligence about the next time (9/11) that was flooding in.

All the doom and gloom being reported in the media 24/7 has to be depressing for today's youth.   Somehow news being blasted around the clock makes you wonder how much of it is pure sensationalism for ratings.  Previous generations have predicted the end of the world due to one thing or another (yawn)  

My generation lived under the threat of the cold war and atomic bomb.  We had  "duck and cover" drills in school. 

When I got out of high school and was expected to fend for myself,  you had to practically beg to get a fast food job... it was the height of the Carter presidency where there was gas rationing, double-digit inflation in an ongoing recession as well as 52 American hostages being held in Iran for 444 days with a failed rescue attempt by The Carter Administration.  It captured the headlines every night and they didn't release the hostages until the new Administration came in of which they were scared of.


STaround's picture

And what I feel for is the rich get richer, etc.

The school my daughter went to (and I think she is close to your age), is in a wealthy area, and very high performing.  The guidance counselors basically said, if you could not get into Ivy, go state school.  No percentage in going to mid level privates.  

Then, when these kids were in college, their parents got them great internships.  

Meanwhile, at the middle class school 5 miles away, kids were accumulating huge loans, not getting interniships.  

Very sad. 

Iamwoman's picture

I was born in ‘79, so cusp. Senior in college when 9/11 hit. Often I’ve held two jobs at the same time to make ends meet. Bought a home in ‘06 and foreclosed later. I’m still trying to claw my way up the career ladder. I watched my father climb his way to success. Was it easier back then? Sure.

That doesn’t mean that other people owe ME or any other adult (including millennials) a damn thing! Life sucks sometimes. The greatest generation dealt with the Great Depression. There were suicides back then too, but moreso by father’s who wanted life insurance payouts to go to their families. They didn’t sit around and fuss and whine and blame everyone around them for their lot in life.

We live in one fo the greatest times in history. Did I have friends die in a drawn out oil war? Yes. Did our parents rise their career ladders faster? Yes. How about instead of being pouty that we don’t have the best of everything and the greatest things that ever were to be had bubsome of the most fortunate in this world, how about we are grateful that we weren’t born into a medieval caste system, or ancient Egyptian slavery, or that we weren’t sent to war during the crusades and skewered from bottom to top by a warlord who then used our dead bodies as a warning to his enemies? How about we accept that there are no “free rides” in life and everything is hard work, whether it’s on the front end or the back end or at some other unfortunate soul’s expense? For crying out loud, we are all alive today thanks to antibiotics, C-section technology, or some other form of modern medicine. We aren’t starving. Mortgage rates aren’t unobtainably high like they were in the 1960’s. We have free local libraries, cars, air conditioning, heating, homeless shelters, etc.

So what is your friend’s iPhone is better than yours or your parents have opted to spend their hard earned cash on a treat for themselves instead of funding one of the most economically opulent middle class lifestyles in the history of mankind to an adult child who resents the rest of humanity because *fill in the blank.*

Our parents also didn’t buy Starbucks daily or subscribe to cellphone plans. This is exactly The mentality I’m referring to. You didn’t make it big in life “as promised.” Ok, you got hoodwinked! Bamboozled. The world is full of con artists. I’ve been bamboozled before too. My folks didn’t exactly dish it out straight, nor did my teachers, but you know what? I DO believe that they all did the best they could with the knowledge they had at the time.

Someday your kids will blame you for their messed up lives. It’s what happens. There comes a point though, where you have to accept the hand you’ve been dealt and figure out how to make it work the best for you. Stop blaming others. We may never be rich or famous, but so what? We are alive. We all obviously have internet and plenty of spare time to share our various viewpoints with one another.

Its amazing that we ever have ANY relaxation time at all. Our ancestors rarely got that. Some people were worked to the death. It’s amazing we have ANY money at all. Many people in history have lived and died in dire poverty.

Yes, it’s entitlement. The only things that you are guaranteed in life are death and taxes. Be thankful for anything more.

Jcksjj's picture

This is what makes me fear my SD wont launch. She has no interest in doing anything other than sitting on her tablet now. She is on it 13 hours a day on the weekends only taking a break for eating meals. Or sitting there picking at her food more so than eating. For me this is a good thing tbh because when she isn't using electronics shes being a total brat and expecting to be the adored center of attention at all times and completely catered to, but I don't see it as being good in the long run. 

It's weird because she loves attention and appears to be loud/extroverted but then she never wants to actually be around people or do anything with them?

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

I’m terrified my stepdemon won’t launch. He is a slug who will fake sick in order to game with other losers.

He is capable of fantastic grades but I have a bad feeling sh!t is gonna get real when he is 18. 

I am Gen X. My kids are pretty young but I am teaching them basic life skills already. I’m going to be a b!tch about forcing them to be independent for their own sakes. I’ve had to be extremely independent, no real siblings. 

I had some trauma in my late teens that f*cked up my life but all I can do is move forward. 

I’m scared for my kids to become screen zombies; I make them play outside. In the dirt.