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"It's important!"

AllySkoo's picture

I received an email from SD23 yesterday. It reads:

Hey when u and dad has time can u call me I have something important to tell u

(That is verbatim, obviously.) I'm thinking, "Pregnancy? Something about her wedding? A death in the family?"

Betcha can't guess. Go on, guess. Know what was so important?
She's lactose intolerant.

Is it just me? Or does this smack of "I have no drama in my life currently and am reaching for anything to fill the need"? I was sort of nonplussed, but then it got even better. Apparently she's "known for a couple days, but I needed time to process and figure out how to tell people." I paused for a minute and then asked her if she knew what "lactose intolerant" meant. (Seriously, I thought she maybe thought she had cancer or something.) She said, "It means I can't have any milk at all! That means I can't eat at your house any more or go to restaurants or anything! I don't know what we're going to do about the wedding cake now..."

SD23 has always loved her drama (she'll create it - sometimes by outright lying if necessary), but this was such a stretch I'm kind of cracking up over it. I'm horrible, aren't I? Wink


thinkthrice's picture

UGH! Puts me in mind of when YSS would interrupt adult conversations over nothing just to get attention and keep Chef from talking to mean ol' me.

YSS (at the time stb 7) "Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad daddy, daddy, dad, daddy!!!???"

Chef: "What hooooonnnneeeeeey??" (said syrupy sweet; never correcting his child and teaching him not to interrupt)

YSS: "umm, ummm Uhhhh, UMMMMM uh (trying to think of something to say now that he has interrupted)

Chef: "Yes, buddy????!"

YSS: "One time, I saw. . .a. . .squirrel."

Chef: (with a look of "how PRECIOUS" on his face that I wanted to slap off of him) "Awwwww"

:barf: :barf:

They never do grow out of this shit, do they?

Drac0's picture


Oh wait, I didn't write that did I?

Well, it still happened... Sad

SS routinely interrupts our conversations to tell DW something "important" and actually forgets what it is he wanted to say. So bloody irritating!

thinkthrice's picture

Oh yes, it totally happened to me!! And the coquettish glances over his shoulder through his long, blonde eyelashes at daddykins to see if daddykins was paying attention. Oh and the miming of an outrageous version of "walking against the wind" flailing arms wildly for attention.

And the playing of vid games on his knees popping up and down getting his entire body into it (not a Wii) as though needing to use his entire self to operate the game controller with his thumbs. His dark urine coloured hair flying up and his eyes closed tight similarly to when attempting to catch a ball. "Daaaaaadddyyyyyyyyyy I caaaaaaannnn't plaaaaaaay this gaaaaaame allllll by my selllllllf"

I said "Well if he sat still and had his eyes open he probably could play it"
Chef: (in a threatening low growl) "Watch it!" (i.e. watch your mouth-how dare you point out my kid's faults)

The repeating of the "Woody Woodpecker Laugh" over and over and over and over again for 15 minutes straight. Chef said nothing until he saw my face then said "That's enough, buuuuuddddddy"

blayze's picture

"Dark urine coloured hair"! You made me chuckle.

SD is the same way...only her hair is poop-tinged. Wink Daddddddeeeee, watch me do something insignificant or recall something irrelevant!

another step's picture

How she is going to tell people???? Like it needs an announcement???

How about "Hey, do you smell that amazing fart? It was mine. You see, I had ice cream earlier...." }:) Smile

thinkthrice's picture

An Evite:

SD23's BM is pleased to announce the lactose intolerance diagnosis of her daughter…

SD23 is also the daughter of Allyskoo's DH

SD23 is registered at Walgreens for a variety of items not limited to, Charmin with Aloe, Organic Valley Lactose free milk, Lactaid and Digestive Advantage.

KiFire's picture

I mean... she can just take those lactose pills before she eats and have all the dairy anyway (doesn't work for everyone, I know)

And once milk is cooked isn't the lactose gone? (that's how it works for the protein BS is intolerant to in cowsmilk)

Not to mention the plethora of lactose and plain ol' dairy free foods available.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Thank you posting....made me smile at work. Frickin funny!

OMG - the wedding cake!!! What will I ever do? The wedding is ruined. Tell her white wedding dresses are made from milk and she cannot wear that either.

hereiam's picture

Just so you know, I am carb sensitive.

I wasn't sure how to tell everybody so I'm glad for this post. Smile

luchay's picture

Ok, so I have been stressing for MONTHS on how to break this to you all, but this post is the perfect opportunity,

I am SKID intolerant.

I am sorry, it means I will no longer be able to be in their presence anymore, just the thought of them makes me want to vomit and race to the loo.....

}:) }:) }:)

Oh I wish I could say that to him.....

tryingmom's picture

There is a scene in the movie "French Kiss" where Meg Ryan's character eats a plate of cheese. A few moments later she starts screaming, "LACTOSE INTOLERANCE". Perhaps get a clip of that and send her an email.

This threads has me laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. Smile

blueorblackink's picture

Hey when u and dad has time can u call me I have something important to tell u

I is brain damage. I cud not remember what the dr said. N thas y it took me ...uh a few days to tell you.

(sorry I couldn't resist)

WTF...REALLY's picture

I think everyone on this tread is being so hard on this poor girl. I mean really people! have a heart.

Oh....crap....I have some even more important to tell everyone.

I just broke my nail writing this. I need to call hubby, oh am I going to tell him? This is huge. I need support!!!!!

AllySkoo's picture

Oh my god, you guys are seriously cracking me up!

DH rolled his eyes a lot, but didn't find it as hysterical as I did. He also doesn't believe she's lactose intolerant at all.

I am SO getting her "milk chocolates"! }:)

DarkStar's picture

My name is DarkStar, and I am lactose intolerant.

***Hello Darkstar!!!***

It all started at my mother's breast.......