A little back story....when I met my husband, he often overcompensated for his then 3 year old by reminding him how special he was because he was so intelligent and left handed. (yes, you are reading this right) He allowed his child to speak to adults disrespectfully and enjoyed having his child engage with him and his family and friends in adult conversations. To him, it was funny when his child would sit there while adults were talking (at 3,4, 5 and 6 yo) and look in their faces and interrupt them mid conversation to ask them questions. (Like what side of the bed do you sleep on and how much they paid for something) DH never really, truly corrected him. Now fast forward. SS, now 8 is getting into major trouble at school. He's in the 2nd grade and has been misbehaving since he stepped foot into school. (PreK) This year, my husband is blaming the bad behavior on the BM. In some ways, I understand him. BM works hellish hours and goes to school. At the beginning of the year,she would wake her children (she has an older child from another relationship) up at 3 am to take them to a family member's house so that they could be taken to school by 9 am and she could make it to work by 5 am (I think, not sure what her work schedule is) My DH facilitated football practice and got upset about having to drop his son off at different houses every evening. (Family members) (I think she started working nights somewhere in the mix of things) He felt his son was not eating well, doing homework and overall not being raised properly. So DH has recently filed for a custody amendment in hopes that he will have his son during the school year. Ok, so I get that he's upset about what's going on with the BMs schedule, but it's not as if this scheduling is what caused the poor behavior. He's been misbehaving ever since I've known him. I'm kind of scared that even if the court gives him custody, his son's behavior won't change, but we will be the one's stuck dealing with it for 9 months out the year. Now, although SS TOTALLY misbehaved in school today...he just came home with dad, chewing bubble gum that dad gave him. I said "oh dad must not be that upset since you got a treat". AND...I GUARANTEE that they will be both sitting at a high school football game this evening with dad's friend's sharing french fries. I guess my question is...how can DH expect to change his son's behavior by just getting custody? How am I supposed to just sit here and watch as he does things I totally disagree with with his son (if he gets custody) and not look like the bad guy when if I speak on it?