You are here

BM the whiny, jealous toddler

AJanie's picture

I need to RANT.

BM attempted to trick DH yesterday while on speaker phone and it was oh so amusing.

She called about Halloween and holidays. She told DH "I believe you have them for a little while early this year and then you can drop them off." He grabbed the court order and slowly read it to her, it states clearly that he has the kids from 5 to 8 on Halloween. She acted all confused "oh, I didn't realize that, the kids are going to be so bummed..."

Then she started on how the order (that they spent months in Court trying to agree on) "isn't fair." Mind you, DH sees the kids one weekday and every other weekend and she has kept them from him every single holiday ... yet is "isn't fair" that now it is ordered that he gets to spend some time with them.

She carries on, rambling some nonsensical shit about how she should be granted extra time if a holiday falls on his weekend (it is as if she has never read the very clear and concise ORDER that we all have copies of.) Then when she is finished with her rambling she asks him, as if he is the incompetent one "do you, like, get what I am saying?"

I do not know how this woman can call herself a mother. Everytime I think she has outdone herself, she goes above and beyond the next time.

She truly sounded like a whiny 4 year old... "it's not faaaiiirrrr" ... now I see where SD gets her inability to share or take no for an answer from.

Our lawyer has been emailed, all she can do is send letters because until we have paid off some of our huge invoice we are not filing contempt motions.

I hate when this woman ruins my holidays... I refuse to let her do it again this year. I REFUSE!


DaizyDuke's picture

Is she one of those people (like me) that really loves Halloween? I'd be absolutely devastated, if I couldn't do the whole trick or treat, dress up, Halloween thing with my BS. And it's not like Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter, where you can open presents, have a special dinner or whatever and celebrate any day. Not like she can take them trick or treating on November 2 when she gets them back.

I know BM's are stupid and annoying.. just saying that I would be totally bummed.. so I can see where she is coming from.

AJanie's picture

It would be one thing if she said SHE would be bummed but she says the kids will - and we know that is not true. She isn't particularly big on Halloween, never dresses up or anything. She is okay with DH seeing the kids here and there, take them for a swim, out to eat, whatever. But anytime DH wants to take them somewhere (vacation) or spend meaningful time (holidays, birthdays) ... she has a nervous breakdown. She doesn't want to keep them from him completely *because then she would look bad* ... but she does NOT want him to be looked at as "better" or "more fun" or "more loved" than her. She is disgustingly competitive.

Ladystark's picture

Id be sad too, but id suck it up, since it is very clearly written.
Plus with halloween on a monday, there is still PLENTY of halloween things going on the weekend before.

Kudos to dh for not feeding into it, and letting her know he is following the order! Might not happen right away but if he keeps quoting the order at her, maybe she will get a clue and read it and write down times on the calander....maybe...

AJanie's picture

That is what I hope. I sat there thinking how do I KNOW THE ORDER BETTER THAN HER. As a mother, wouldn't you prefer things spelled out and organized so you didn't have to go back and forth all the time? Not her! It is not like he gets even 50% of the time with them, he gets a few token hours on the holidays every other year. She always has xmas morning, she always has dinner with them on Thanksgiving. She won't even throw him a bone every other year - 3 hours of trick or treating. She is a loser.

iluvcheese's picture

Where I live trick or treat is on different nights in different areas, so if we drove a little we'd inevitably find a place that we could take SD. Since your BM has the kid so frequently, can't she find a spot on one of her nights? That or dress up on a weekend & ask friends if they can stop by & do a trick or treat like that? What I'm saying is, she can figure something out.

Why are some BMs such a pain? There's a CO, she should follow it. She shouldn't have felt the need to even discuss this with your man, it's in the CO so no need for a discussion. Short of an emergency or having plans for a vacation or something special, she should simply follow the CO. I'm sure she's read it & knows every single part that benefits her.

DaizyDuke's picture

What is Babyface going to be this year?? I just came up with the most EPIC costume for me to go along with BS6 costume this year. I don't think I'm going to be able to contain myself for 7 weeks!!!!! Biggrin

nengooseus's picture

I am totally with you, except DD is still young enough to love begging door-to-door for candy. Two more years and I'm done (assuming she doesn't quit early!).

SourGrapes's picture

I always take DD trick or treating regardless of what day it falls on, but my ExH is fine with that, and he is welcome to join if he wants to. Usually he does and his gf does too. This only works because we treat each other with respect and all parties involved (me, ExH, his gf, and my SO) are all friendly to one another. I'm glad it works out that way because I love Halloween and I'd hate to miss it!

My SO doesn't want to miss SD6 trick or treating, but BM always manages to be around and demands that she have SD. My SO always has to go over to BM's friend's house and he says it's super awkward. Generally he's out of there after about 90 minutes, but at least he gets to see his daughter in her costume and everything.

I can understand why your BM doesn't want to share the time, but if that's what's in the court order then she should honor it without any BS. Good for you DH for telling her to get bent when she tried to pull a fast one!

HMommy's picture

Every parent should share in Halloween with their children. All holidays should be alternating, if it's important to them. Anyone who thinks they are entitled to more bc they are a BM is a narcissist and shouldn't have custody. Children want memories with both parents. Period.

Maxwell09's picture

Living in the Bible Belt of America, Halloween is not listed in our CO. I personally don't care about Halloween as being brought up in a Christian family they chose to do "Fall festivals" at the churches which was basically the same except the costumes were animals, Bible characters, insects and such. My parents also ended us doing trick-or-treating I turned 8 or so. Now that I have taken SS two of last 4 years and I have BS, I can take it or leave it. The first year, DH and BM split Halloween in half except at the exchange spot she caused a huge scene wanting to fight and we ended up only having thirty minutes left to go get candy. BM had spawn and BS were born a year apart and I realized Halloween should be alternating or split in half so that SS gets to trick or treat with both of his brothers. Then DH pulled out his giant stack of papers that lists all of the times he's asked BM for an hour here or there for his family functions and she flat out refused. I get a tit for a tat isn't very mature but he has a point: why go out of our way to share time for someone who does everything she can to keep and take more time. SS hasn't been to not one of his cousin's birthday parties in the last four years. I do plan using Halloween as a bargaining chip when DH and BM go back to mediation.