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Blossoming love and a vomiting child

AJanie's picture

What a Friday... pouring rain and stuck at work... still coughing from the glorious flu I am getting over...

Thought I would share a story from yesterday because I am so bored and need some Steptalk distraction today.

As you all know, I generally stay away from boyfriend's son. I maybe interact with him once per week. Yesterday I joined him to pick up his son from daycare. On the ride home we heard "my stomach hurts" so I glanced at the back seat and there is his son, calmly vomiting all over himself. Literally kept a straight face and showed no emotion after throwing up. Then promptly fell asleep covered in it. The sight and smell turned my stomach, we had no napkins, we just drove the remaining 10 minutes with the windows down.

Just an example of how kids kill the romance, even in a new relationship Smile

We got back to his house and I did my due diligence "can I help with anything?" Then started gathering my stuff to leave. He was bummed out and wanted me to stay and relax with him, the kid was definitely asleep for the night. I told him I'd had enough germs lately and needed my sanctuary but I would see him all weekend (kid free!)

He is starting to sort of "get it" that I don't want to be too involved with his son. He is a very sweet man and he has pointedly said that his stepmother was one of the most important people in his life - so I think he has unrealistic expectations of what things could be. Mind you, his stepmother divorced his dad after 15 years and took off never to be seen again by my boyfriend or any of his siblings. Clearly she had different feelings about step life.

My boyfriend really is such a sweet guy. He is like a warm blanket. If only I could have met him sooner.......... sigh.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Seriously, be careful.

People who have ulterior motives can hide them for a long time and can be very patient.

You may think that he is starting to "get it" but more than likely, he is just learning to bide his time and not push too hard at this moment.

he has pointedly said that his stepmother was one of the most important people in his life

Ding, ding, red flag alert.

AJanie's picture

I'd consider it a red flag if I didn't know it to be true. His real mom is a flake and his poor stepmom raised FOUR stepkids before throwing in the towel. :jawdrop:

hereiam's picture

I'm not implying that it's not true. The fact that it is true is exactly why he may want and expect the same, in a stepmother for his son.

AJanie's picture

I have tried to explain to him how much I resented the step role without scaring him. Not easy to do, they just don't really understand it.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I agree with hereiam.

AJ... I'm not trying to be mean... Isn't this your first romance since your divorce? Be careful with the rebound man. Everything may SEEM all moonlight and roses, until your rebound glasses shatter. {{hugs}}

AJanie's picture

It is, it is. I hope the glasses don't shatter. I am still trying to use my head... he has just grown on me with each week.

Steppedonnomore's picture

Since he had a loving relationship with his stepmother, he likely wants you to have the same with his son. Yes, you've tried to let him know how you feel about the step relationship but he probably thinks that with HIS son it will be different. Will it? Maybe, maybe not. Can you continue in this relationship with your head on straight or will your heart soften your head?

DPW's picture

I worry about you. Living with an addict really messes you up. I really wish you would give yourself some time to heal before jumping into another relationship. I gave myself a full year before I even considered dating again after my three year relationship with an addict. I needed the time to find myself again. I think you need time too.