You are here

My son is sarcastic to his 13 year old step daughter

ahimsa4ali's picture

He married the girl's mother two years ago, has been with them since the girl was 7. About 5 years now. He has always been crazy about the girl, they are close , but something seems have changed since his son was born 7 months ago. Now he seems negative and sarcastic with her a lot, and kind of pushed her away physically, now that she is a bigger teenager too. She used to sit on his lap and nuzzle etc, but no more. This makes me so sad, this change. I brought it up once with him and the mom there, not the girl. They got very upset and basically told me to butt out. I had suggested that they try to be more positive with her, praise her for what she does right, gently correct what she does wrong, etc. Resist being sarcastic. So I cannot bring it up anymore. Here is my problem. To see my new grandson I have to be around all of them, then I come home very sad about how the girl must feel rejected, and the rivalry of her new brother who BTW she does love. What can I do to not let this tear me up everytime?

Comments

Anywho78's picture

It's lovely that you are concerned for your SGD! She's lucky to have you as part of her family!

Please remember that there are many things that you do not see. There may be issues with her behavior at home concerning your son that you are unaware of. Positive reinforcement is always awesome but remember that girls of that age are normally a handful...my SO & I do get sarcastic with his teenage kids but we also have a lot of other interaction that is positive & loving.

As far as her sitting on your son's lap...she's far too old for that behavior now. Her pulling away from him & becoming more independant is healthy.

Is it possible for you to simply enjoy spending time with them instead of looking for what they are or are not doing for your SGD?

Best of luck to you!

ahimsa4ali's picture

Thank you. What a wonderful response. My son said once to me" Why do you think you always have to "fix" everything?" I am trying to remember to use the serenity prayer to calm myself. My training is against me, too. As as special educator, I have spent years and years observing and analyzing children's behavior. So I will work on cooling the educator in me when I am with them, having fun instead....