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Is he worth my insanity!!??

afrazier212's picture

Sometimes I wonder why im putting myself through all this! My skids drive me absolutely crazy and FDH makes excuses, lets them get away with treating people bad, changes the subject when I try to talk about our issues, won't let me disipline them like i would my own, but wants me to clean, cook, be a taxi, get them clothes, haircuts, toys, take them where they want to go, etc. etc. If he wants me to be thier Mom then he needs to step back in every area. BM abandonded them and he feels guilty, Im not cushioning their hearts, or kissing their ass for this!! SS 13 is SPOILED beyond my belief. FDH in the past bought the kids things cause thats what he thought he had to do. Daddy got laid off and took a paycut for about 4 yrs. so all that stopped but of course kids don't understand this, their both just divas, they want want want and what they do get they throw on the floor and never touch it again, things like, nintendo DS's, PS3 games, phones, MP3 players, clothes, shoes, its as if they get some kind of satisfaction with somebody buying them something. It's not that they really want or need things they just want somebody to buy them something!! BS........SS is acting like a lil brat cause its SD 11 Birthday week. Seriously I can't handle his diva shit!! Hes crying like a baby, complaining about his birthday last year and asking what were doing for his this year, not till Aug mind you. Hes getting physical with SD, he has the worst attitude in the world, I was trying to help him with his homework the other day, all night this lasted!! He would ask me and as I was explaing what he needed to do or where he needed to read he would say no thats not what I mean, your not understanding, or walk off and give me the ok Amanda!! Ok little puke, I had a 4.0 on college your in 8th grade and had 3 Fs at the begging of the semester!! I asked him a question he didnt answer me totally ignored me, over and over, so I grabbed his head and pulled his ear to my mouth to ask him if he can hear, he grabbed my throat and choked me!! FDH saw the whole thing, I got in trouble not SS!! So is FDH worth all this? I love him sooo much and know we belong together but I could do without the drama of the spoiled undisciplined skids!! Its going to ruin things for years if he won't get a grip on this situation!! Im flippin sick and tired!!

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Run now. Leave. Pack.
This is not your problem. If your fiance cannot allow you the freedom to redirect his childrens behaviour your future is doomed. Note I do not say 'punish' but redirect.

I would not live with someone who allowed their kids to behave like this. I would say "OK, I like you a lot, even love you a bit. But allowing your kids to behave like this is against my beliefs. So enjoy your life. See you around."

afrazier212's picture

I have left before. In the begining I saw all this and ran like hell. I felt terrible, as if I was not taking the bad with the good! This is when I had my own place and my own life, that was 4 years ago! I feel way to committed and the fact that we have a 1 year old together is going to keep us together. Maybe I just need to find other things to do out of home or just go visit friends and family all the time!!!

Arya's picture

If my DSS EVER acted like that I would whoop his little butt. If his dad had anything to say about it, or complained that I was discipling a child who was in my care and I was taking responsiblity for, he would not be in my life anymore. period. I have a 4 month old with my DF, and it was the way I took care and loved his son before we were together that made my DF love me. That love has always included punishment if he's being a little turd.