OT - What is your STalk Origin Story?
I'll go first:
For me my journey with STalk started 7-8 years ago. This pertained to the whole not allowing Spawn to audition for a solo role at her dance studio due to failing grades. Well Spawn and Meth Mouth decided they were going to get custody swapped for good based on that, and Spawn was gleefully telling her friends how she planned on lying to the judge about a bunch of stuff to create a picture of abuse and neglect in our home.
I was so beyond disgusted with it all that while online one day I typed in the phrase "my stepdaughter hates me!" A list of sites popped up, first and foremost being Circle of Moms. So I clicked on the site and read about other stepparents dealing with stepchildren and honestly I was really put off by the whole experience. What I was reading was mostly "You need to love this kid like your own, you need to step up and be the better person, you need to sacrifice your own needs for that kid!" I had been doing that for the last 12 years ever since I had met DH and Spawn. I needed better advice than to be told to continue being a doormat and someday it might pay off.
So I re-googled my original statement and clicked on StepTalk...let me tell you it was game changing! Back before the two big cullings there were some amazing posters on here who gave you simple to the point, no frills, no sugarcoating advice that would make you stand up and say "I have seen the effing light!" I gorged myself on this site reading everything I could and signing up for my first STalk account. Suddenly I wasn't the problem anymore, my DH and his Disney parenting were, and so was Meth Mouth and all her dysfunction. I was taking a crash course on disengagement, and PAS and mini wife syndrome and it was cleansing! I went home that night and I unloaded on my DH, I was no longer his and Meth Mouth and Spawns whipping boy! I was no longer their scapegoat and I was disengaged. I even told Spawn this, I was disengaged from her and her toxic dysfunction and if she needed anything from here on out that was on HER parents!
The court proceedings that facilitated all of this fell through because Meth Mouth couldn't keep her days straight and show up for court, and Spawn wasn't able to weave her web of lies to the judge. But I stayed disengaged, much to the irritation of my DH and Meth Mouth and Spawn. Over the years I have seen amazing OP's get shunned or leave and I will always be grateful for their amazing wonderful non sugar coated advice. And over the years I have seen the many many many OP's who come on here to stir the pot, to create havoc because for some reason it makes them feel good about themselves. I try my best to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, but to be honest, after years of being on this site you can pretty much sniff out the crap pretty quickly if you take a moment to take a whiff.
So in conclusion thank you for coming to my STalk talk, I hope it was enlightening for you and for those of you who are new and looking for advice. We are not just new to the game of step parenting, many of us have been here for YEARS! YEARS of having been there and done that twice and gotten several t-shirts to prove it.