OT - She got me with the 1-2 punch!
So last Sunday was the national grovel at the feet of the woman who birthed you pandemic and much as I abhor that Pagan Hallmark holiday I must engage to appease my own mother who can never be appeased.
I bought her a card, flowers, baked her fresh bread, wine, and a gift card. I wished her a Happy Mother's day and spent a few hours in her presence. I was forewarned by my brother that she was in a snit (they were arguing over text) so I chose my words cautiously and avoided any and all conflict with her that day. She appeared sated at my offerings and I though maybe this year I would emerge unscathed!
WRONG! I dropped in on parental units this weekend to drop off a get well card for my father who just had surgery and even brought ice cream for them as a treat. My mother waits a few moments while I speak with my father then drags me into the kitchen and shoves the dish towel I wrapped the bread in into my hands:
Mom: "Smell that!"
I gingerly sniff the towel...nothing. I look at her confused and shrug my shoulders knowing any words at this time will be pounced on and dissected to be used against me later on in this conversation.
Mom: "Well don't you smell it? It smells of your laundry detergent and it seeped into the bread and the bread tasted like soap. It was awful, I had to dig to even find a small tiny portion I could eat."
Me; "Oh I'm sorry, next time I will just bring it over in my bare hands."
Mom:"And the flowers your brought me were covered in bugs, I had to put them outside, because they were crawling all over my table."
Me: "Oh sorry for that, umm well at least you can replant them and enjoy them out there from in here where nature can't get you."
WE left shortly after that, but as I told DH she waited for this one, usually I get bombarded on Mother's Day, all I can figure is the wine slowed her down some. So good to know for next year, bring her a jug of wine, and nothing else!