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absentSM's picture

When I first met my partner almost 3 year ago, he only had his kids every other weekend.
Then about 6 months into our relationship, we got the kids fulltime, and we have all lived together since then. I love them all very much, but I get annoyed by their behaviour/habits and my partner and I have 2 different ways of doing things. He has a more laid back way about him and is very close to his kids but babies them too much. The boys are 10 & 9 and Girl is 18. he often says to me, "Its not a big deal", when to me, certain behaviours are a huge deal, and I find it hard to teach them everyday things, such as, personal hygeine, Cleaning house, Table manners, routine etc. My partner told me that his ex wife loves her children very much but she wasnt a very good homemaker.

Ultimately I know that the kids come first, but I am worried that although we don't argue alot at all, if we keep disagreeing on things, we are not going to move forward and grow as a family.
It is getting to the point where they are starting to not listen to my instruction, or asking me, I say no, and they go to their father and he says yes, because he spoils them.
I love my man so much, I couldnt ask for a better partner, but I sometimes wish the kids were only here part time


RandE559's picture

If you too arent on the same page the kids will WORK IT WORK IT WORK IT!!! Have one last heart to heart your hunny outside the home just you too. Keep it loving, fair and non-emotional. Then treat yourself to something nice the next day. Detach, set up your own boundaries and smile.

absentSM's picture

Great advice guys, thank you all so much.
I notice the common advice is to disengage. I will definitely try this strategy. Hopefully it all falls into place. You are all right, I'm not a parent, I am their dads girlfriend, and want to keep it that way. thanks everyone, keep you posted.... Wink