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The whataboutism of a BM

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And so it begins...now that BM has a new boyfriend she has begun her manipulations to change visitation times. It started with her just changing all the dates that she entered into the OFW calendar without notifying DH and then telling him they agreed to follow that calendar (they didn't) and that those dates had been on the calendar for over a year (they were added on October 23rd according to OFW). 
 

Mind Blown - BM has a new man

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DH told me last night that Skids told him that BM is "dating" someone new...someone they have already met, even though the ink is barely dry on her filing for divorce from husband #2 and the divorce is months from being final. Now it all makes sense as to why she was offering up Monday as an extra day for Skids to stay at our house, since today is Valentine's Day. 

Secrets in Stepland

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I said something to DH about how BM was getting divorced (confirmed by looking her up in the state court system). He replied that he noticed several months ago that her car was the only one at the house and she parked it in the middle of the driveway. Neither skid has said anything to DH about it. These are the same kids who tell BM what they had for lunch at our house (one of them literally tells her things like this), yet they don't tell DH that their stepdad and stepbrother moved out?

Trouble in Paradise?

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It appears as though BM is getting divorced. We haven't gotten official word and probably never will, but her DH has apparently moved out. I thought something was up when the kids showed us the family Christmas portraits and he was not in them. Also, BM changed her name back to DH's last name on social media. It had been her DH's last name (although she never legally changed it to his last name). 

Already switching teachers to avoid failure

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 For the fifth year in a row, SS has switched classes to avoid "mean" teachers and bad grades. 

SS just passed the first progress report for the year. He had an F in special ed English and a D in math. Surprise, surprise - this week, he has new teachers for both of those classes. Ironically, he is now in class with the math teacher who has given his brother a D, so I'm sure his grade won't be much better. But now, both he and BM can feel better. 

Officially a wicked stepmother

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I have officially become a wicked stepmother. One of my SSs spends every visitation with us complaining that we don't spend enough money on him. BM has also told him how much CS DH pays and he has decided that his father doesn't pay enough. In our state, CS is determined by income and not only did BM  hide some of her income on the last calculation, but DH also agreed to pay more than he was legally required because he wanted to switch holidays. I officially hate this child. He is a teen and he is always stirring the pot on behalf of BM.

And I'm done with social media

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SSs have recently discovered Facebook. When they sent me friend requests, I wanted to ignore them, but figured I couldn't, so I accepted their requests. Then one SS started commenting on my posts in coherent sentences (writing is not his strong suit), so I got suspicious that perhaps BM was using his account to view my profile (she and I are not FB friends...way back when she sent me a friend request which I did not accept and that led to her making threats against me and accusing me of crazy things like "possibly being a child abuser").

BM is also a struggling SM

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According to SSs, there is tension in their house, because BM is not getting along with her SS (her DH's son). He is 18 and just graduated from HS. He is working, but only 16 hours a week. He spends the rest of his time in his room playing video games. Apparently, he and BM fight all the time and her DH is squarely in the middle. I can't help but feel a little schadenfreude at BM's suffering. When she and her DH first moved in together (before she and my DH were divorced), she used to post about her "three" sons (my two SSs and her SS) and would post about how much she loved her SS.

DH realizes his kids are not fun to be around

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This weekend, DH took SSs by himself to the family cabin in the woods. Every time he goes away with just SSs he will - at some point during the time away - tell me that SSs are driving him crazy. This time he told me that he wished he had only brought one because all they do is fight with one another and complain. I know this is normal behavior for kids their age, but I want to say to DH, "if you don't like being around them, how do you think I feel?"

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