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At the end of my rope with SS8!

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To recap..SS8 ADHD combined with OCD and ODD and possible bi-polar. ODD being the most recent diagnosis. I just call it being the biggest brat on the face of the planet. I can not disengage anymore as DH started a new shift and I have to get the "lil angel" ready for school. Waking up in the morning, knowing that verbal acid will be thrown at you and that all your requests for SS8 to comply will be completely ignored, is not the best way to start your day. I have tried getting him to recite what he has to do to get ready (he knows and refuses to do it). We tried lists.

So ODD it is!

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That means Oppositional Defiant Disorder not just odd! Don't get me wrong, SS8 is odd as well but now we have a word/diagnosis for why he refuses to listen to anything! There is no known cause per say. A lot of doctors think it is poor parenting. I tend to agree with this, at least partially. Family mental illness can also contribute to ODD.

Which losing hand would you take?

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SS8 has always been VERY difficult to deal with. We have taken him to many therapists at this point but to little avail. We have moved on to a new doc this year. The doctor hasn't determined an exact diagnosis. Upon further testing, later this month, it will determined what his exact ailment is and how to best deal with it.
We will be dealt one of three lovely hands. Bi-Polar Disorder, ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) or DMD (Disruptive Mood Disorder). If any of you have experience with these please advise which is the best worst case scenario or lesser of the evils.

SD15 may have gone too far!

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Please tell me I am overreacting. Please. Backstory..She has lied to a boy about her age and he could get into trouble for having a relationship with her. DH and I put a kibosh on this when we found out how old he was. He is in her grade though and it's why we assumed he was close to her age. They are no longer supposed to communicate. Her phone has been taken away. I looked through her phone today and found that she has communicated with him via a friend of her's phone. That isn't the worst part.

Should we even bother?

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Quick recap, BM is supposed to pay half of school supplies and minimum CS (270.00/MO)for SS8 and SD15. She has never paid a dime. The past 2 years we have really tried to "encourage" her to participate positively and responsibly in the children's lives. We have asked, sent receipts, asked again, practically begged that she show just an ounce of responsibility for the kids. She tells DH he is mean and cruel when he asks for anything. We have gotten nothing! So should we even bother asking this year, sending the receipts, arguing over how much it costs to raise a kid.

Should I even be this offended?

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So for over 2 weeks SS7 has been pretty darn great. I mean, I thought we had turned a corner and were on the way to happily ever after land. I was dead wrong. Yesterday he had a hate filled screaming and defiance session for over 3 hours. All, this started because he could not watch t.v. as he had gotten into trouble at his day camp for fighting and not listening. He proceeded to tell me he wanted to live with his mom. Ok that a normal response from him I can deal.

Feeling Torn

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So quick back story is : BM has supervised visits for 4 hours EOW. Is supposed to be paying child support (we just got that started and she owes back to Dec). Has failed to do visits as instructed by CO and has not paid one dime.
DH has decided to just have her rights taken away. We are supposed to do this next month. Not guaranteed to happen though. I feel like this may be taking it to far and that the kids will one day hate us for it.

Backtalk and whining may drive me insane!!

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SS7 constantly talks back to DH. Argues about every request made by DH. Cries and whines about everything. It has gotten to the point where we can't sit down at a restaurant without him causing a scene. This week had to leave a restaurant and apologize to other patrons around us who had to listen to almost 10 minutes of crying and whining over a food choice. Ugh, it's infuriating. He has also started getting up at night and crying at the door until DH gives in and lets him watch T.V. or go hang out in the living room. I have demanded that SS7 respect his dad and quite the talking back.

DH tattoos

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DH has skids names tattooed on his forearms. SD14 has her name on his right arm and SS7 has the left arm. SS7 is not DH bio son. He has just raised him since birth because BM is completely incompetent. My issue with this is now that we have LO on the way where does that leave her? He only has two prominent locations to show his kids names off to the world and those are taken. Having her name on his back hidden while the other two are out there for all the world to see seems wrong. Will she ask one day why daddy hides her name.

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