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The other side

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Well, it's been a while ( and that's an understatement!).

I suddenly remembered this forum this morning, as Christmas approaches and I thought of you all.. blended and not-so-blended families, all trying to do the right thing.

I wanted to let you all know that there is a light on the other side. SS is now 27 and married, SD is 25 and living in her first home she bought last year. I am actually very proud of them, they work hard and look after themselves, they have good jobs and have done very well for themselves.

SS gone but huge backlash

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Hi STalkers.. Sorry I have abandoned the boards for a while but I have been trying to concentrate on DH and I (and little bump), trying not to dwell on these horrible products of BMs entrapment who have ruined my life.

It worked for a while! To recap SS20 is living in a van on our farm - it has a couple of radiators at best and is not really suitable through the winter; he is also extremely antisocial and has no idea how to co-exist (or that he has no God-earned right to live on my land, make mess, make noise etc etc).

Dh has walked out

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Phew... a strange calm has settled over Breakingthrough's home this evening.

It has all come to a head. I have been so upset, overthinking and emotionally wrecked the last few weeks. I have actually hated SS20 because of my gagging order against him and lack of understanding from my DH. DH and I have drifted on, our therapy has not improved anything and we have ended up resenting each other.

Two pychologist sessions down....

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We have done two sessions now, DH is very relaxed and open - communicating like he never would at home; he shows no sign of the anger and nastiness he regularly displays towards me. If I was cynical I would say he is presenting himself very carefully (perhaps as he has had to do twice previously in divorce/child settlement cases???)....

Huge breakthrough (and something you guys might like to think about?)

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Ok so I am naughty..

I caught my husband after two bottles of wine last night (yes, this is how 'happy' he is at the moment with a beautiful home we are creating and a baby on the way)! I decided a lack of inhibitions might help, so I stayed calm and started going through our step-life from the beginning.

Eldest son trying to cut us out completely now

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I would love a third party's opinion on this one.

I have discussed previously about our argument with SS 24. He finally got his driving licence, bought himself a car, promptly wrote it off driving his pothead non-driving bm around. As he has a young baby and a SD3 (trying to hold down a job) we took pity and spent the rest of our building project money on a car for him (we are still without central heating).

The choices we make...

breakingthroughtheinstincts's picture

"In this life, we have to make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. Many of our choices are between good and evil. The choices we make, however, determine to a large extent our happiness or our unhappiness, because we have to live with the consequences of our choices."
James E. Faust

It has been an up-and-down few months for us outside the stepfamily. DH's Dad died in Feb, then a few months later his Mother became seriously ill. He is caring for her 3-4 days a week at home, not an easy job.

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