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Is it just a BM thing...

3LittleDragonflies's picture

To send kids in clothes that are too small/ dirty/ ugly?

We have SD every other weekend and every Sunday from 9 to 5. BM sent SDstb3 to our house last week in a size 5 pair of pants. SD has been a size 6/6x for the past 4 months at least. The pants barely made it half way up her butt.
This weekend she was in a size 4. She hasn't been a size 4 since last fall. We were running late so I had to just let her go to church in the outfit with half her diaper sticking out and her stomach showing. I changed her at DH's grandma's party after church into a size 7 dress. It fit her perfectly. (Yes, I said stb3 and a size 7. She's the size of your average 6 year old.)

What's your "You sent them wearing what??" story?


realitycheckmom's picture

Once skid went in school clothes and he came home in these weird shorts and a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and those ugly sandals they call slides (black rubber things). He went in Nikes, new jeans, and a nice shirt. We never saw the clothes again. We were CP. This happened a lot or BM would buy clothes and they would be too small or the pants too short. DH finally just gave in and bought all his clothes and skid could not leave unless he was in the ugly weird outfit she sent him home in and no matter what he had to wear the weird sandals. BM complained once about him needing sneakers and we pointed out she took his brand new Nikes and we had to buy new ones for school because she never returned them. She never returned a damn thing. She always forgot. Half the time she never showed up anyway but still it is damn annoying that she lives in the Bermuda Triangle.

step off already's picture

I'm a BM to three kids. I work full time, as does their father an we do about a 60/40. Sometimes I am appalled by the condition of their clothes and they each seem to have their own issues: DD12 will wear clothes that are too tight up top, ds9 will have on crazy floods, and ds10 will wear sweatpants that he has to hold up cuz they are too large.

I am constantly replenishing their wardrobes and school uniforms though I'm. It sure thei father does as he'll often ask me for clothes when he is low. My kids are a bit different than yours as they dress themselves.

And I have to admit that there have been busy morni gs when I don't realize what they're wearing until its too late or they didn't hear me ask them to change. Oh well. Not the end of the world.

If me or the ex have a special occasion, especially during the holidays, we may request they show up with certain shoes or that a special outfit come back to the original home but we are pretty lax about clothing and what goes back and forth.

3LittleDragonflies's picture

I probably should have mentioned, this has happened EVERY time BM dresses SD. I can always tell that BM dressed her because SD was always in the right size clothes when GBM was taking care of her.

step off already's picture

Do you think it's incompetence and uncaring on BM's part or a ploy to get the good clothes from dad? Or even an attempt to ruin your plans by dressing her in clothes that are simply not ok? Could be either.

3LittleDragonflies's picture

I'd go with the first one. This is the woman who OD on over 4 months worth of antipsychotic meds right in front of her 2.5 year old knowing no one would be home for a few hours.

lac925's picture

Once just this past fall (school had just started), it was like 10 degrees outside and we were all in sweaters and jeans. The skids come over and they're wearing t-shirts and shorts! :jawdrop: Dumbass ALWAYS used to send the kids in grubby clothes and thought nothing of it. THEN, once she got her hefty gov't check, she started sending them over in brand name clothing! SMH But at least now, she can't hound us to buy the kids new clothes Blum 3 Thanks for THAT, Dumbass!

BMs do this to either: 1) ensure that the kids' home clothes stay at home for fear that we'll keep them, or 2) they want to show us how "poor" they are so that WE will pay for new clothes even though they get a check every month!

Lalena75's picture

We've gotten them sd in flip flops a mini skirt no winter coat in March in IL, pants 3 sizes to big (her 13 y/o half sisters stuff) or in her too small brothers pants. Ss has come in his sisters pants and underwear, both of them frequently came sans underwear all of this from school or daycare. It got way better when I bought them a bunch of new stuff and refused to send tgem with any of it to BM's

Stepbell's picture

Ss15 is visiting now with dad. He brought 4 shirts. One is the shirt I bought him summer before his 7th grade year. I think BM forgot the poor kid has grown about 3-4" since then because every shirt is the size of that particular one. She hasn't bought him a bigger size in 3 yrs. he's 6' now going into his sophomore year. I just rolled my eyes... I'm not saying anything into it this year.

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

BM sends SS8 to school in clothes that reek of cat piss. Repeatedly.

CPS wouldn't accept calls from either DH and I or the school.

It really sucks that BMs actually do this. Both SSs routinely wear clothes that are either waaaay too small or waaaaay too large. SS14 gets SF's hand-me-downs. SS8 gets SS14's, despite the fact that SS14 is very tall and husky and SS8 is the size of an average 5-year-old and wears slims. Literally. SS8 will NEVER fit into his brother's things. She somehow only can manage to shop for herself and her hubby, never her own kids.