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what topics should I start with...

3bk1sd's picture

At our counselling appointment. We've been there lots of times already but it's been about a year and there is so much to mention I don't know where to begin.

1) I have lost all respect for DH because he can't stand up for himself to BM and SD. He has no problem telling me when I'm wrong though.

2) I have lost all trust in DH. He lies and he hides his true feelings from me. He waited 2 months to tell me that he thinks it's my fault that SD doesn't want to come anymore.

3) He's angry with my bios. He says that they are another reason SD doesn't want to come anymore.

4) I am angry with DH because he defends BM and SD. He doesn't ever defend me to them. I want a DH that will stand up for me and protect me from the BS. I want him to appologize for letting this chaos go as far as it has.

5) He thinks SD should be tip-toed around and that I should let everything "go". Destroyed property, stollen things and lies. DH is high on marajuana the whole time SD is there so it's quite likely that he misses alot. I obviously have issue with that as well.

6) He thinks it's wrong for me to defend myself but he won't do it. I have been backed into a corner by the BM and SD's bullying and I have come out fighting. I will not back down now and SD can only return if she can remain civil. It is my house also and I will not have her there the way she has been acting. DH will have to see her elsewhere.

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3bk1sd's picture

Ah I forgot

7) He plays poker online and will not spend time with me or my bios.

8 ) He refuses to help out around the house and makes huge piggish messes and then leaves them for me.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Start with the respect and trust.....if those hurdles are managed the rest can be handled hands down-

And good luck, been in counseling for a year- it's been a long hard road to save my marriage...but I think we are at least both on the same page of actually working to save it then working to pull it apart some more.