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So stressed about friday already!

3bk1sd's picture

So this is it. My DH said he and I will sit down with SD11 and he will tell her that unless she can treat his wife and her children nicer than she has been she is no longer welcome in our house. I told her that I would take her out on Friday night and buy fabric so I could make her a dress for the end of school dance. She told me that sounded like a great idea except that when she left I found a note from her to me (it was left out for me to find in our playroom). It said that she hated me, it seems that the nicer I try to be the more angry she becomes! Anyway, there will be no dress now, we're not buying one or making one. I know that alot of this is because of BMs jealousy and that she talks badly about us to SD but at almost 12 years old I believe she knows right from wrong and we are all sick of her foolishness.
Thankfully we're going away early saturday and dropping SD at her grandparents house so there will only be a few hours of drama instead of a whole weekend.


Gia's picture

Good luck with the talk. I think is the right thing to do! I'm glad your DH is supportive of you.

mommylove's picture

DH's support makes all the difference. I know my DH would never under any circumstances agree to SD11 "no longer being welcome in our home" no matter what her behavior was. He would simply cuss her out like she was a sailor on the street (his "discipline" method) and then "expect" her to shape up to avoid get cussed out again. Of course for some reason he would never consider that this hasn't worked in the past with SS19 or SD11, so why would he expect it to "scare her straight" now? Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she doesn't like getting cussed out by her angry father (who would?) but she can avoid that by simply being sneakier and not getting caught next time! Trust me, not only am I onto her "innocent & naive" act for DH's benefit, but I know all about it - me & my father had the same dynamic when I was a pre-teen girl!

3bk1sd's picture

I agree that DH's support makes all the difference. I haven't told him, nor will I, because I don't want him to feel like I'm forcing him to do it but if he doesn't back me up and start defending me from the SD & BM I'm leaving. I am going to go back to work full time and somehow manage to look after the house and my 3 kids (the youngest is his) without him. I'm done and this has been slowly killing me. On friday it will end one way or the other. If he starts to waver and not say the things he said he would then on Monday I'll call my lawyer. I had an awful realization an hour ago, he's just as scared of SD as he is BM. How can you effectively parent someone that you are afraid of?
I've been hanging in during the bad times because I didn't want them to "win" but it is 2 against one and the bitch and her minon are more evil than I could ever be.