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DH has finally (I hope) gotten over his guilty dad syndrome.

3bk1sd's picture

It's been 14 weeks since we've seen SD. She doesn't like our rules and has been PAS'd by BM. At first DH felt badly about her no longer coming but after everyone around us (relatives and our family counsellor) agreed that it's better if she doesn't come if she'll just cause problems and drama he has agreed. No one enjoyed her visits and our family gets along much better without the drama.
DH got an email from BM on Friday. She is really hard to understand, her spelling is not great and her grammer is worse. He called me and read me the email. He said "It sounds like she wants us to pay for 1/2 of camp for SD." I said "Sure, tell her we can do that and find out when she needs it."
Secretly I was giggling to myself (about what a lazy selfish bitch she is) because I was sure that what she wanted was for us to pay for ALL of camp and I knew he would get an email back about it. I just kept it to myself and actually forgot about it.
Monday DH called me when he got to work, he said "BM just sent me an email. She wants us to pay for all of camp!, I already told her that she's being ridiculous and we'll pay for half, we are also inviting SD on a week long camping trip this summer". (I doubt she'll go but the point is we're inviting her and willing to pay for it).
He then called me 10 minutes later to say that he recieved another email telling him what a "bad father" he is because he won't pay for all of it.
Here's the great part about it though. This is the first time he's laughed at her foolishness. A year ago he would have tried to convience me to come up with the money for camp. He didn't even suggest it, I think we're making progress. It only took 6 years Smile


Done WIth It's picture

Yeah...some BMs are really great at adding "sorry faces" and unhappy designs when they don't get what they want...especially when trying to lay a guilt trip on dear old dad.

"She's so sad".....her birthday card was a day late. Lives out of state and BM probably held it as long as she dared. & bm mothers can be peas in a pod and life is so much better when they're not in it. LIke bad pennies, though, they manage to roll back in creating new havoc and drama.

frustrated-mom's picture

We've recently decided that it would be better if my DH's 14 year old daughter didn't live with us. It's a difficult decision to make and my DH is still struggling with daddy guilt. I hope with time he will realize it's for the better, since things are so much more peaceful without my SD around.

If your SD wants to go to camp, then perhaps your DH can suggest that she pay for some of it by babysitting, mowing yards, or so forth, and that the "bank of dad" is closed, but perhaps he can match any of the money she contributes.