You are here

please help

2young4this's picture

I really need help on this one. If you don’t know my SO has an exwife and a baby momma. Well the exwife really helped him raise his daughter and he helped her raise her daughter. She now lives two states away. THANK GOD! The woman is absolutely physco. I HATE HER! Well anyway her wants SD11 to fly down there for a week this summer. I am dreading this. She talks soooo much crap about me to my SD and tells her that I am the reason that her and SO are divorced. She tells her that she wants her dad back and that she didn’t want to move but had to because she had no where to live blah blah blah. First of all my SD knows that her and him had been divorced 2 years before I even came into the picture. And second my SD can’t wait until we get married. I still don’t want her going there to hear a bunch of crap about me. SO is sending SD11 so that he can see his old SD who is like 8 I think. She is coming to our house for a week and it makes me sick to even think about it. I don’t want her here and I don’t want my SD going there.

Well I had asked SO if he has talked to that whore recently. He said no. I knew he was lying though. So I go through his phone. I know I shouldn’t but I knew he was lying. And he talked to her via text messages last week. The thing that irritates me the most is this:
Whore: I am booking SD11’s flight for this week ----
SO: What about SD8? When is she coming?
Whore: She is scared to fly alone. So I am booking SD11 flight.

First of all bitch you need to ask. Don’t just tell him the plan. IT’S NOT EVEN YOUR KID!!!! She moved away 3 years ago. Build a bridge and get the fuck over it!!!!!!
I am mad that SO lied to me about talking to her and I am mad that this stupid bitch thinks that she can tell him what to do. No sorry you can’t. She still thinks that they are married and she has control over his life.

Comments

stepkate's picture

Whore.

I had to laugh there-no fancy mixing of words...no metaphors, no creatively likening of BM to some grotesque animal. Just good, old fashioned whore.

I like that.

2young4this's picture

I don't look at her as anything more than that. She is just a whore in the world. LOL

2young4this's picture

Well I am glad that everyone else can vent her except for me. I thought this was a venting site so I could say what I want to say and not say it to him. Thanks.

2young4this's picture

I did tell him that i looked in his phone. He was upset but he knows it is not something that I would normally do. There is a LOT of bad blood between his ex and I. More than I could write about. Also when we first got together over 3 years ago he did a lot of lying when it came to her. I know that he does it to spare my feelings and not to hurt me but I still don't like it. Another thing is that she hurt SD really bad last year and didn't talk to her for a whole year and now wants her to fly and visit her. She told SD last year "if you love 2young then I don't love you anymore and you can't see SD8 anymore either." now she has called to apologize and I just don't trust her anymore. I mean what kind of grown woman tells a little girl that? I her daughter is a brat. I understand that her mother taught her to hate me but still it is annoying to have someone in your house who is soooo disrespectful.

GiGi222's picture

Spunk, not everything is so black and white, especially when dealing with blended families. Obviously the ex wife is doing certain things just to cause conflict.
And I'm not sure why she needs to let this go. He kept something from her. Regardless of her reaction she has a right to know.
Just sayin.

2young4this's picture

Thank you. It is not black and white. I am telling you this lady is pure evil. She has done soooo many awful things to me and I have never even spoke to her. I know that I am super senstive when it comes to her but she has put me through hell and now every little thing she does sets me off. I have so much hate inside and I hate myself and her for it.

Sia's picture

"if you love 2young then I don't love you anymore and you can't see SD8 anymore either."

That's awful! Is he actually going to allow this child to spend time with this person?

2young4this's picture

That's what I think. i told him that I don't trust her and that who is to say that she wont pull this shit again. But SD said that she wants to go. And it is the only way that he can see his old SD.

2young4this's picture

That's what I think. i told him that I don't trust her and that who is to say that she wont pull this shit again. But SD said that she wants to go. And it is the only way that he can see his old SD.

2young4this's picture

I know you are right. I know that it is not ok to hang on to these feelings. I wish I didn't. She changed something inside me and I just can't let it go. I will not leave my SO because he is wonderful. He is not the problem. The problem is that I came into this too young. I let this woman that is 10 years older than me do exactly what she wanted...beleive me I know i should just let it go. But it's not as easy as it sounds and I thought that on here there would be people who understand that feeling... maybe I am alone in this.

2young4this's picture

I understand that people are symapthaetic and to my situation and maybe some people may even understand. I don't want to let her control the way I feel. My SO and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. The first year was the worst but I did my best not to let her get to me and then I reached my breaking point and snaped. And now I can not even hear her name with out my blood boiling. My main problems are that she feels that she has intiltedment to the man that I love. And 2 I have spent to much time and effort building a relationship with my SD. I love her soooooo much and I don't want anyone coming between us. I have never bad mouthed her mother or her ex step mom in front of her and all the two of them can do is fill her head with bad things about me. She is a smart girl and she does know that I love her and that her dad and I love each other. She always says she wants us to get married. I guess I just want to protect my family and keep it intact.

anabihibik's picture

I don't think you are alone in this, and I'm not reading the responses as judging you. I think they are genuine responses coming from people who have been there and recognize the damage it can do. Finding a different way to cope or channel that anger is important. It isn't that you can't come here and vent, but you asked for help, so that's what others are trying to do. When I had these kinds of feelings, my counselor was very fond of giving me "homework" and I did it. For me, ending the relationship turned out to be the best move, but I've learned to let other things in my life go.

2young4this's picture

The thing about writing I guess is that I need to be very descriptive. I know that none of you are trying to be mean and judgemental. Thank you for that. I guess what I want to know is how did you guys get over that feeling of hate. Hate is a lot like love...it consumes you and changes you but not in a good way.

FallingfromGrace's picture

I dont care if he should/should not see the kids but his LYING and HIDING contact from you is anacceptable...whether you are 20 or 50.

If wants you to feel good about things...be calm and understanding, then he needs to be HONEST and upfront.

He owes you loyalty...not his ex wife/BM lady...

steptwins's picture

A lie is told b.c. he's ashamed or afraid to tell the truth. My DH promised to tell me the truth after I caught him in BM lie and had freaked out totally on him. So I checked his checkbook every so often, and saw a different child support amt. posted. Asked him & he said it wasn't a lie b.c. I hadn't asked him if he'd given her extra $ (i.e. nondisclosure is not lying). Yeah right. And he was pissed I snooped. Instincts okay! I thought for years it was BM fault, now I know who's to blame: DH. He continues to be a guilty dad, helps her w/cash flow issues & put her before me (child support w/no visitation schedule necessary b.c. we have skids all the time and he feels good about that). I'll never see a skid free EOW thanks to HIM not BM. He (DH) enables her (SM) behavior. Realizing this fact took a huge chunk of respect I had for him. You can't replace BM dead or alive. Its hurts and feels personal but try to remember your own mother and your unconditional love for her. The truth will set YOU free.

2young4this's picture

It is a little different because this woman is not my SD real mother. She was her step mom but not anymore and has not been for 5 years. She also lives 2 states away. My mother would have never moved two states away from me and would have never told me that she doesnt love me because I love someone else. LOL